Quick Critiques please....

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Yeah, recording vocals while drunk is not good. However, The S and T thing, only happened after I compressed the vocal, which I don't understand :S

Maybe I compressed it too much.

Cheers for the comments!
 
That bass is way outta control and not intonated right. The guitars aren't standing up on their own. The bass sound needs to be way tighter and the guitars need some personality and definition both in the way they're being played and ....ouch, you are singing way out of tune there.

The song matter is cheezy and the guitars are a wash of confusion and vaugeness. You tried to make up for musical inability with vocals and you almost did it but the whole thing ends up a huge mismatch of mishmash in my opinion.

The end was a bad descision, the soothing thing just drops off wich is not in the style of the song at all.
 
jake-owa said:
That bass is way outta control and not intonated right. The guitars aren't standing up on their own. The bass sound needs to be way tighter and the guitars need some personality and definition both in the way they're being played and ....ouch, you are singing way out of tune there.

The song matter is cheezy and the guitars are a wash of confusion and vaugeness. You tried to make up for musical inability with vocals and you almost did it but the whole thing ends up a huge mismatch of mishmash in my opinion.

The end was a bad descision, the soothing thing just drops off wich is not in the style of the song at all.

Sorry, I can take constructive criticism but when it comes from a moron who obviously has issues with listening and commenting correctly on a song, as well as being unable to spell "cheesy", I get pissed off.

The bass is perfectly in time and tune. I'm not a bassist but if you'd like to argue I'm more than willing to make you look more stupid than I already plan to by posting the bass track with only the click track on it. It's in time and it's as in tune as any non-bassist can play a fretless.

As for the singing. WAY out of tune? WAY? Really. Nice ears kid. I'll admit they're sloppy at time but I'd say it's in tune a shit load more than it's out, and after hearing your doubled up chorused vocals on your song "self help", I'd remind you that people in glass houses should never throw stones. Eat a lozenge for fucks sake.

The matter of the song is cheesy. Sorry mate. Writing songs about feelings is cheesy? Maybe I should write some bollocks like this:

"Well I'm sorry for, your little world
tried to warn you while we were lost in space
I watched the clock run out, on your tiny town
felt their trojan tounge, try to swill me down
(screamed)
slack jawed, drooling lies, open arms, empty eyes
run for life from the overbearing
into the knife you've been preparing
slack jawed, drooling lies, open arms, empty eyes
touched by tender, torn asunder
left to die, alone to wonder
(soft voice*)
*such a selfless friend
forcefed fuckfest, free for all, incest
*looking out for me
unbound abrasion, wide awake on every station
*all you ask in turn
telefiend in dreams, reveals it's scheme
*is that I love myself
filters down, circles your carcass on the ground
human cattle marked as meat march together to the beat "

You have no right to EVER comment on my lyrics. None what so ever. Your excuse for lyrics are appalling.

"*such a selfless friend
forcefed fuckfest, free for all, incest
*looking out for me
unbound abrasion, wide awake on every station
*all you ask in turn
telefiend in dreams, reveals it's scheme
*is that I love myself "

Nice. HAHAHAHAHA.

Also telling me I have musical inability, fuck you to be polite, I recorded that within 30 minutes.

Come back when you've learnt how to be constructive, how to be polite, how to sing, play, and how to spell you illiterate wanker.
 
I was going to comment on your muddy mix, but after stating you recorded while drunk and blasting Jake for some odd reason, I feel that I should pass. Seems you're happy enough with it yourself and don't need any outside comments.
 
I haven't really mixed it as yet, I've compressed and added reverb and tried to get rid of the horrible amount of clicks and pops I got for some unknown reason. I just wanted a general idea of peoples thoughts of the song, not as I received a completely unconstructive bitchy post. I only did vocals and lead guitar under the influence and was planning on redoing them, but as it's not being used for anything special other than a record of one of my incomplete songs, I don't see a purpose in doing that. To be fair I was expecting:

"The two guitars need more treble"
or
"Turn the bass up a bit"

Compared with what I did receive, I feel completely justified in my response.
 
bazzlad said:
Compared with what I did receive, I feel completely justified in my response.
That may be, and you are certainly entitled to do as you wish. Jake has a pretty good ear, some nice equipment, and was basically being pretty upfront and honest with you. To the point, that I pretty much agree with what he had to say. I'll tell you though, he is not one to gloss over with his comments, but gets right to the point in most comments/reviews. I tend to be the same way. Unfortunately, all the "atta boys"...and "sounds really good, dude"...are too easily flung around in the clinic nowadays, and has really lowered the bar for quality, imo.

You post on the internet, expect to take some bad with the good. If you go back and reread Jake's post, he was right on with his comments, and instead of saying, "the bass is good, but needs a little punch...the guitars sound GREAT..but need a little something too..." HE SAID That bass is way outta control and not intonated right. The guitars aren't standing up on their own. The bass sound needs to be way tighter and the guitars need some personality and definition both in the way they're being played.

Forget the pats on the back...take the constructive comments like a man and move on.
 
And try reading my reply I answered at all his comments, I don't want a pat on the back but equally the statement:

"You tried to make up for musical inability with vocals and you almost did it but the whole thing ends up a huge mismatch of mishmash in my opinion." is as useful as a punch to the throat, especially when I listen to his shit. And shit it was.
 
sorry...you're right. If you think you are person displaying some exemplory chops and technique and feel the comments are unjustified, then you are the one that is right. Remember though, opinions are what they are.

I am sure he didn't mean to "punch you in the throat", or anything as malicious with his response, but meant to get to the meat of the matter.

But, I don't wanna speak for Jake....his mouth is worse than mine!! :eek: :p
 
Hey, please, give me a fair review like I did with you. That song works very well with those vocals and the thing is not mixed yet. If you are trying to feel better by looking at my writing you are missing the picture. I like my stuff and you like yours, we have opinions.

I didn't say the bass was outta time. The song is in my opinion cheez...that's my word, sorry.

I did not mean to offend, I just think enough people with stuff worse than yours will be along to stroke you. That aint what I do...so sorry.

The bass is not 'intonated' right, look that word up and learn how to do it. The tone is muddy and EVERYWHERE. I call that outta control.
I never said you were outta tune in all the vocals, when I typed that there was a very bad spot, I bet you already know where it is.

The guitar playing is ambiguous and not really planned sounding. I have to make up for my own inabilities all the time in music so I know when I hear it not being pulled off. Your song does not pull it off in my very lonely opinion.


Get a life, quit freaking out, it's not like I said your kid was ugly.
 
jake-owa said:
it's not like I said your kid was ugly.

I still think the nekkid pic of your kid on the beach was a winner...


I have that in my wallet!! :eek:




nah.......!
 
bazzlad said:
Sorry, I can take constructive criticism but when it comes from a moron who obviously has issues with listening and commenting correctly on a song, as well as being unable to spell "cheesy", I get pissed off.

The bass is perfectly in time and tune. I'm not a bassist but if you'd like to argue I'm more than willing to make you look more stupid than I already plan to by posting the bass track with only the click track on it. It's in time and it's as in tune as any non-bassist can play a fretless.

As for the singing. WAY out of tune? WAY? Really. Nice ears kid. I'll admit they're sloppy at time but I'd say it's in tune a shit load more than it's out, and after hearing your doubled up chorused vocals on your song "self help", I'd remind you that people in glass houses should never throw stones. Eat a lozenge for fucks sake.

The matter of the song is cheesy. Sorry mate. Writing songs about feelings is cheesy? Maybe I should write some bollocks like this:

"Well I'm sorry for, your little world
tried to warn you while we were lost in space
I watched the clock run out, on your tiny town
felt their trojan tounge, try to swill me down
(screamed)
slack jawed, drooling lies, open arms, empty eyes
run for life from the overbearing
into the knife you've been preparing
slack jawed, drooling lies, open arms, empty eyes
touched by tender, torn asunder
left to die, alone to wonder
(soft voice*)
*such a selfless friend
forcefed fuckfest, free for all, incest
*looking out for me
unbound abrasion, wide awake on every station
*all you ask in turn
telefiend in dreams, reveals it's scheme
*is that I love myself
filters down, circles your carcass on the ground
human cattle marked as meat march together to the beat "

You have no right to EVER comment on my lyrics. None what so ever. Your excuse for lyrics are appalling.

"*such a selfless friend
forcefed fuckfest, free for all, incest
*looking out for me
unbound abrasion, wide awake on every station
*all you ask in turn
telefiend in dreams, reveals it's scheme
*is that I love myself "

Nice. HAHAHAHAHA.

Also telling me I have musical inability, fuck you to be polite, I recorded that within 30 minutes.

Come back when you've learnt how to be constructive, how to be polite, how to sing, play, and how to spell you illiterate wanker.
I just wanted to make sure I could document your brat attack for the future generations to witness.


I spell things my way sometimes.....wanker.

You are one funny dude. You didn't listen to my song obviously, the lyrics are humorous and in parody. The cheeZe was intentional. It's a great song, you should listen to it.
 
I did give you a fair review, you sound like you're attempting to try and emulate the Pixies, and failing. Badly. Also your screaming is very weak.

"and the thing is not mixed yet."
Nor is mine.

"If you are trying to feel better by looking at my writing you are missing the picture."
If someone critiques me I'm happy. If someone attacks me verbally I have a listen to their stuff to see the justification. I feel you are in no position to do so.

My song isn't cheesy, but your lyrics are appalling, you use random sentences the Chilli's would blush at.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"An open eyed, but narrow mind, seems to make me feel blessed.
All my anger’s left behind; maybe I’m no longer messed.
You’re the one that cured me, my histamines were hurt and hate,
There’s no one else I want to see, waking up with you is fate.

A fucked up view on how to live, a clear blue sky that I don’t own,
I’ve never had a lot to give; a lover’s touch is all I know.
An open door that light shines through, invites me in out of the cold,
After a search there’s only you, I want to love, to have to hold.

When I see the brightest lights, they’re shining from your eyes."

Feel free to critique those. I was 18 when I wrote them and I stand by them to this day.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I did not mean to offend, I just think enough people with stuff worse than yours will be along to stroke you. That aint what I do...so sorry.

"The bass is not 'intonated' right, look that word up and learn how to do it. "

I know how what intonated means, and how to sort the intonation on a guitar I've been playing, self taught guitar, drums, bass and vocals for 5 years now, the intonation isn't off at all, if you knew anything about fretless basses you'd know someone who doesn't play them - IE Me. Will have difficulty with the microtones available by not having your finger on the EXACT spot on the fret.

"The tone is muddy and EVERYWHERE. I call that outta control."

That I don't doubt, I am relatively new to mixing, hence coming onto here to get some tips and advice, not get some bloke rip apart the style of music I love. You're entitled to your own opinion, you just have to learn that it's wrong. :P

"I never said you were outta tune in all the vocals, when I typed that there was a very bad spot, I bet you already know where it is."

Yes I do. I don't believe in using auto-tune and I don't believe in multiple takes IF I can help it. If a singer hits a duff note with enough emotion what does it matter? Listen to Johny Cash at Folsom Prison to understand what I'm getting at. I'm not a bad singer but let's be honest I'm no Jeff Buckley.

The compression I used really has made me sound weird. It doesn't sound like me what so ever.

"The guitar playing is ambiguous and not really planned sounding. I have to make up for my own inabilities all the time in music so I know when I hear it not being pulled off. Your song does not pull it off in my very lonely opinion."

Again, the solo is improvised, but I feel it works. I had to take it down in the mix and plaster it in effects simply because of the disgusting tone I recorded with. At the time Nirvana style distortion seemed like a great solo sound. With hindsight, a bluesy solo would have been a better option. Other than that the guitars are played how they were written. Nicely.

"Get a life, quit freaking out, it's not like I said your kid was ugly."
Again, I'd expect to see justification, and as I also do part time modelling, I doubt you could back that up ;)

Also, next time you critique someone with your great knowledge actually add something that they can take away and learn from, as opposed to just being pompous and "better than thou".
 
Brat attack? You think I'd edit or delete what I'd put? I stand by it 100%.
 
bazzlad said:
Sorry, I can take constructive criticism but when it comes from a moron who obviously has issues with listening and commenting correctly on a song, as well as being unable to spell "cheesy", I get pissed off.

The bass is perfectly in time and tune. I'm not a bassist but if you'd like to argue I'm more than willing to make you look more stupid than I already plan to by posting the bass track with only the click track on it. It's in time and it's as in tune as any non-bassist can play a fretless.

As for the singing. WAY out of tune? WAY? Really. Nice ears kid. I'll admit they're sloppy at time but I'd say it's in tune a shit load more than it's out, and after hearing your doubled up chorused vocals on your song "self help", I'd remind you that people in glass houses should never throw stones. Eat a lozenge for fucks sake.

The matter of the song is cheesy. Sorry mate. Writing songs about feelings is cheesy? Maybe I should write some bollocks like this:

"Well I'm sorry for, your little world
tried to warn you while we were lost in space
I watched the clock run out, on your tiny town
felt their trojan tounge, try to swill me down
(screamed)
slack jawed, drooling lies, open arms, empty eyes
run for life from the overbearing
into the knife you've been preparing
slack jawed, drooling lies, open arms, empty eyes
touched by tender, torn asunder
left to die, alone to wonder
(soft voice*)
*such a selfless friend
forcefed fuckfest, free for all, incest
*looking out for me
unbound abrasion, wide awake on every station
*all you ask in turn
telefiend in dreams, reveals it's scheme
*is that I love myself
filters down, circles your carcass on the ground
human cattle marked as meat march together to the beat "

You have no right to EVER comment on my lyrics. None what so ever. Your excuse for lyrics are appalling.

"*such a selfless friend
forcefed fuckfest, free for all, incest
*looking out for me
unbound abrasion, wide awake on every station
*all you ask in turn
telefiend in dreams, reveals it's scheme
*is that I love myself "

Nice. HAHAHAHAHA.

Also telling me I have musical inability, fuck you to be polite, I recorded that within 30 minutes.

Come back when you've learnt how to be constructive, how to be polite, how to sing, play, and how to spell you illiterate wanker.

Dude, you are way out of line. This is where you come to hear what other people think of your music. Jake let you know, and FWIW, I agree mostly with his complaints. Jake's a colorful dude, and you should take it with a grain of salt. Suck it up and be a man - fix the song if you can. You yourself said it was done in half an hour. Sit back and have a nice cup of STFU and be glad you got a response - the really shitty stuff dosen't even get comments at all, so you must show some promise :D . Just remember that the pain is weakness leaving your music ;)
 
Again, I feel no need to justify my response, especially if you read what he wrote and my immediate reply. Nothing was constructive and nothing was justified, there was no common courtesy and no politeness. Jake and I are still debating this issue and I presume will continue to do so out of the public eye where our debate belongs. The song is not finished, nor will it ever be, it's a rough put down so I don't forget it, but I did fancy giving it a polish in the mix. The weird lisping sound that has appeared on certain letters is due to over compression, something I've learnt. The idea of posting this is to get mixing tips and ideas, not to be slagged off by an irate person I don't know or care about.

Thanks for your reply, but the argument is now a private one.
 
So he has emailed me over 20 messages with stuff like "die soon painterboy". This has been a great experience. He has corrected my grammar errors and beilttled everything he could find out about me...actually quite a compliment. :)

I almost want to post everything he has sent me here just for entertainment but watching his little meltdown has been plenty of fun for me.

Whatever kid, go write a song and quit spending energy on being lame.

You had that covered...try something new.
 
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