POLL: Which Of These Two Lyrics Do You Prefer?

  • Thread starter Thread starter stevieb
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Which Of These Two Lyrics Do You Prefer

  • I like lyric #1 better.

    Votes: 17 45.9%

  • I like lyric #2 better.

    Votes: 9 24.3%

  • I like them both about the same.

    Votes: 3 8.1%

  • I don't like either.

    Votes: 8 21.6%
  • Total voters
    37
S

stevieb

Just another guy, really.
Below are some lyrics from two different songs. I'd like anyone who is interested, to take the poll, but BEFORE YOU LOOK, a few rules to keep this unbiased:

1. Please don't google either of them, or at least, don't until you have taken the poll.

2. If you recognize either lyric, please don't participate in the poll. This is about the specific LYRICS, not about whomever may have penned either.

3. Go with your first impression. Don't think about it, just react.

4. Please vote BEFORE you view poll results, and don't change your vote or vote again once you have entered it.

In a few days, or after about 25 to 50 poll responses, I will post here the author of each, and probably close the poll. You will understand why I posted the poll, and why I want unbiased reactions, then. Again, I want as unbiased a response as I can get from this medium.

Thanks.

LYRIC #1:
In history we painted pictures grim,
The devil knows we might find that way again.
The big wind blows, so the tall grass bends.
But for you, don't push too hard my friend.


LYRIC #2:
The station was bright, and full light,
but my mind was in a funk.
A wad of bills went in the till, but not enough for a sleeping bunk.
My ticket home was via coach, and I pushed my bag through the turnstile.
The train wasn't due for half an hour,
so I had to hang around for a while.
 
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I preferred the first one, but not because it mentioned grim !
 
Anyone? Beuler?

I predict something interesting will ensue when I reveal the authors. I will tell you, they are both copyrighted...
 
The second one. I like the imagery conveyed and I'm a sucker for any lyrics about travelling.

I don't recognise either.
 
I went for number one... and not just because it mentioned Grim... or grim... :cool:
 
The first one. It's darker, and I like that sort of thing.
 
Okay, thanks to all who played. Without further ado...

#1 was written by Neil Young. I've been reading "Written in My Soul: Conversations With Rock's Great Songwriters," by Bill Flanagan, and even though I am not a NY fan- not of his writing, and certainly not of his singing, I gained a new respect for him after reading his chapter. But, his lyric was quoted in the book, and I thought, "Hey, that's not much better than some of my stuff," which leads me to...

#2 was written by... me! Thing is, I know I am biased, so I thought a poll would be more unbiased. It does not surprise me that many preferred Mr. Young's lyric- I seem to be about the only person I have ever met that does not care for his stuff, so there must be something there! :D Still, it is very encouraging to see that six of the fifteen who voted liked my lyric at least as much as Mr. Young's, and no one hated it (or either.)

I've decided to leave the poll open, so others can have fun, too, but the results as of this moment are:

I like lyric #1 better. 9votes, 60.00%

I like lyric #2 better. 3 votes 20.00%

I like them both about the same.
3 votes 20.00%

I don't like either. 0 votes 0%

Thanks, again. Comments are welcome.
 
I sorta liked #1 better, it was fair as I hadnt read further down to the revealing yet... I would hasten to add that when put to MUSIC and sung, often songs sound VERY different than how the lyrics "read".

neil young is kinda cool, but, the joke is "would SOMEone teach Mr Young a few new chords? These 3 are getting a little long in the tooth by now...", lmFao...

I only heard his radio hits, they always struck me as "big hooks", simple driving power chords. I suppose the simplistic "base" of the pop-rock radio hit?

lyric #2 "read" like it could be a little more "complicated" thana simple power chord driven anthem...

Mr Young taught us SOMEthing I guess... he had a long career out of his style...
 
stevieb said:
I've been reading "Written in My Soul: Conversations With Rock's Great Songwriters," by Bill Flanagan,
Click to expand...
I have the book, I read it some ten years or so ago. It's a good book and I remember being quite surprized at the range of people that he interviewed. There's one very much like it called "Songwriters on songwriting" by Paul Zollo which I'd recommend.
stevieb said:
and even though I am not a NY fan- not of his writing, and certainly not of his singing, I gained a new respect for him after reading his chapter.

I seem to be about the only person I have ever met that does not care for his stuff,
Click to expand...
I only like "Southern man" of his. "After the goldrush" isn't bad but when I was a kid, I heard a lovely accapella version by a group called Prelude that knocks Neil's original into touch. I like a few things about Neil Young ~ but not his music !
 
Thanks for your comment, grim. I'll hafta find that book.

Yes, SedStar, my song is not your basic 1-4-5 "3-chord monty." C, Dm, Em, F, and Am are all in it, and it transitions to C major for the last verse. It's not an anthem, either, but rather, a ballard.
 
I voted neither. I don't hate them. I just didn't identify with either. The first one sounded a bit...er...ahead of itself. The second one seemed a bit laboured. I didn't scroll down at all to see the reveal.
 
I didn't like either because I couldn't feel a metre or spy a rhyming scheme. I like lots of NY stuff and he's quite cavalier with metre & rhyming etc but sells it well & his melodies usually compensate (I did notice last week that his verse melody from Like A Hirricane was uncannily similar to a Phil Ochs songs from a decade or so before).
 
The first one seems more "poetic" for want of a better word, to me, and seems to start telling a story, which may or may not unfold further in.

The second one just seems a straight narration of a series of events and I don't like some of the rhymes - "mind in a funk" doesn't work for me... and nor does turnstile being rhymed with while, as the emphasis in tunstile is on turn, not stile - it also uses terms that might make sense in the country of origin, but not elsewhere, so it doesn't have "global" reach....

Travelling "coach" means going by bus and is not a class of travel, which is what you're referring to here I assume, elsewhere in the world.
 
On Amtrak trains, which operates all long-distance passenger rail in the US, there is "coach," the basic and least-expensive accommodations where you sit in a reclining seat, no privacy, and "sleeper," where you have a private (but small) room. Here is a link for your clarification:
Amtrak - Plan - Onboard - Seating Accommodations

I am not seeing how the rhymes are "not working-" if you count the meter, the rhyming words fall on the same beat, and the "Y" sound of the words "while" and "turnstile" is a dominant sound. If they don't work for you, well, okay, they don't work for you- but I think that may be because of some mental block you are having, rather than a failure of either the meter or rhyme scheme of the lyric.

Although I thank you for your comments, I didn't really ask for an evaluation of the lyric- only a comparison of one to the other. But don't be concerned- I am ignoring Greg's comments entirely.
 
(Yawn.) Oh, sorry, Greg, did you say something?
 
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