please have a listen before i play this for peeps

[abandonedbrain]

don't let me embarrass myself. especially interested in seeing if the bridge is alright. thanks.
the song is labeled "Deal".
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=542032&content=music

 

[ido1957]

The intro is a bit long for me, almost a minute before the vocals come in. The fact that it ends at 3:20 ish makes the longer intro seem a little more purposeful, although I would maybe write another verse or chorus into this and shorten the intro. The vocals could be better lined up in the bridge where they are doubled.
Other than the intro, I really like the writing and the arrangement. It's nice when you hear a variety of instruments and ideas/patterns within a song. I think you've got some great material in this song.

 

[NYMorningstar]

don't let me embarrass myself. especially interested in seeing if the bridge is alright. thanks.
the song is labeled "Deal".
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=542032&content=music

Hah!

I thought you broke my speakers when this first came on

I liked it. It was a different sound but had a nice kick back and listen feel to it. I think adding a speck of verb to the vocals around 2 1/2 mins in would sound nice.

 

[ErichArndt]

I liked it. I think it might've been a bit overcompressed, but that might be the sound you were going for too.

 

[dreamer7]

Yeah, I like this. Has a bit of a different slant to it.

I like the basic overall sound and particularly the drumsound. The long intro works for me. I wasn't keen on the sound chosen for the synth melody part though. It sounds too straight and sweet for the song – a bit sort of sickly! Is it a standard synth voice? If so, maybe you could choose another that suits better, or muck it around a bit by adding an effect or two which would give it a different feeling.

My thoughts for what they're worth,
dreamer7
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THE ETERNAL LIGHT OF WILL – my very humble tribute to Bill Nelson. For your ears only, on Soundclick now.