One More Tune.... Holler At Me Please.

[Richard Michael]

Thoughts??? Comments???
Lyrics..
Valley of Low, All Rights Reserved
There is a mist in the air that’s drawn me here.
Down in the valley, valley of low.
Keep on runnin’, keep on chasin’, all this time I’m wasting
Candle burns at both ends.
Yesterday resonates, tomorrow doesn’t wait
And here we go again.
There’s a mist in the air, that’s drawn me here
Down in the valley, valley of low.
There’s an eerie feeling that has appeared
Down in the valley, valley of low.
And there ain’t no rest, ain’t no rest for my soul.
She turns to me with tears in her eyes
She says, Baby when are you going to finally realize
There ain’t no steps on this very road
That you’ll ever need to take alone.
There’s a mist in the air, that’s drawn me here
Down in the valley, valley of low.
There’s an eerie feeling that has appeared
Down in the valley, valley of low.
And there ain’t no rest, ain’t no rest for my soul.
Trying to keep hope while we carry on.
Just know there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t give you girl.
There’s you and me and all our dreams.
Let nothing or no one come between.
Decades of pain bleeding into the present.
And when things change, I won’t regret it.
Cause you’re with me, you’re still with me
On the mountain, in the valley.
There’s a mist in the air, that’s drawn me here
Down in the valley, valley of low.
There’s an eerie feeling that has appeared
Down in the valley, valley of low.
And there ain’t no rest, ain’t no rest
And there ain’t no rest,
And there ain’t no rest,
And there aint no rest, ain’t no rest
For my soul.

 

[Armistice]

Interesting tune - needs a bass line to hold it together in my opinion, or if there's one in there, turn it up.

Your guitars all sound like they're DI'd - they lack "presence" for want of a better word.

And your drum program is very robotic, especially on the snare "rolls"

I'd get the voice up a bit and cut back the reverb - would make it a bit more menacing.

If this is the sound you're after, then you've achieved it, but I think there's a fair amount of improving that could be done.

Just my $0.02 though... tune has potential.