old musician new songwriter...

  • Thread starter Thread starter demensia
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demensia

demensia

www.lukemacneil.com
I can write 30 songs a day with a guitar, with probably 10 of them good, but god damnit I cannot write words to go with any of them.

For years now Ive been trying to write on paper the words to go with a song... Just will not happen... Like I sat down today and wrote :

"One more time Around
I look into your face
and watch it all come Down
and fall right into place"

But to say the least, this does not compliment the style of music I am writing. Ive tried to find a lyricist, and just write the music, but frankly, im convinced that lyricists do not exist.

Im so frustrated.

demensia
 
Well I am slowly outgrowing metal, because frankly.. people dont want to hear metal, and I am much less pissed off than I used to be.

Ive evolved into a sort of incubus style funky ballad.

Id give you the links to my music, but I havent updated the website in quite a while, and I have since moved on to more frustrating endevors.

I could describe it as ... george clinton meets metallica (fade to black, nothing else matters metallica).. with a bit of clapton to top it off.
 
Many larger cities have songwriter organizations (which meet to listen to each others material, etc.) nornally these groups are informal. (Obviosuly places like Nashville and LA have more "pro" organizations.

In my experiance many of these people are lyricists with limited musical abilities. Have you checked into that??
 
demensia said:
Well I am slowly outgrowing metal, because frankly.. people dont want to hear metal, and I am much less pissed off than I used to be.
Click to expand...

ROFLMAO! Not at you but with you, brutha. It takes a ton of energy to maintain a level of aggressive anger, which is what seems to make a lot of metal work. I still play agressive music but not exclusively; too much of good thing is a bad thing :p.

And now for something completely different. . . .

To address your point, I think lyricists *do* exist, but perhaps they just don't know they're lyricists yet. Most of us know at least one person who is "good with words" in some way or another. That person could be the one to work with. I'm not saying there won't be difficulties in developing a comfort zone, but that's a given when breaking new ground with anyone. Cultivate a working relationship and see how it grows. This person may be the next Betty Thatcher Newsinger (lyricist for Renaissance) or Robert Hunter (lyricist for Grateful Dead).

In the meantime, don't give up on writing your own stuff. You get better by repetition. Keep everything you write, and then in 3 months take a look back at your first work. You'll be amazed at how much better you've become. (That last tip, amazingly enough, came from the Metal Method guitar lesson series; I just modified it to pertain to your situation. It's a good measuring stick for just about anything :D.)

Hope your loss for words is short, dude. If all else fails, go the Steve Vai/Joe Satriani route and stick to instrumentals :p! (Just kidding.)
 
I was actually seriously considering it.. The Steve Vai, Joe Satriani approach of course.
 
YOu can write lyrics

The missing element is the main idea. What is the song about? first define that, then you can write lyrics. For instance, take a traditional subject - love. You start with "One more time around". Around what? Is it one more time getting married, buying a house, having all look great and then BANG!, it all falls apart? If so, then say it.

Maybe love is not my virtue,
But I can't go on without you,
I hope it's true love I found,
So here goes one more time around.

Time to get off the merry-go-round
Settle up, put some roots down.
Searched to world for this love I found
So here I go one more time around.

Anyway, this is not much of anything to speak of, the only point is that there should be a basic idea and sometimes it is right in the words you already have but you need to stay with the idea. That, of course, is the hard part. Anyone can string together random rhymes, but to have it tell a story is hard and even harder if you have not defined the idea.
 
Nice. Looks like I have a little writing to do then...

thanks!
 
Alright, here it goes. The love song is just a little too cheesey for my liking, so ... I had to get just a little angry.


One more time around
I look into your face
and watch it all come down
and fall right into place

One more time around
To feel your warm embrace
And hear the pleasant sound
And I just drift away


Re-traced--Re-wound
Misplaced--Dumfound
Shamefaced--Stormbound
Two-Faced--DISGRACED!!!


One last time around
I need some more headspace
Im sick of being clowned
Ill just pack my suitcase ....... and go.
 
Not bad, demensia! I like the verb use of "clowned"; it's a nice unusual word choice. Keep it up, dude :D.
 
my two cents
Sometimes people think "poetry" when thinking of lyrics,flowery combinations of euphonic syllables,ala;

"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree
Where Alph the sacred river flows stately to the sea"

But if you write like that it sounds stilted and artificial in a popular song.Think conversational phrases like in the beautiful Beatles ballad,Something.

"Something in the way she moves attracts me like no other lover..."

The first bit would sound like some kind of gimmick and distract from the feel of the song.The second bit immediately tugs an emotional response from the listener.We are all different and unique,but look for universality and common themes in your subject matter,so that as many people as possible will make some kind of connection with your tune.
Tom
 
Good Points

Yeah, I know the stuff was sappy and cheesy but I just wanted to make a point. The point is that if you work at sticking with a decent story line, it helps. Actually, I had to leave before I finished what I was going to say. I was going to say that the next thing was for you to put your personality into it. Make it sound like you. Amazingly, that is exactly what you did without even being prompted which to me only strenghthens my point. You certainly can write lyrics if you work at it.

Good luck and keep on writing.
 
And BTW nice job

And, not only did you do it but I kinda like what you did. Nice job.
 
Thanks, Tom, for the point you made. In another thread I mentioned that good poetry doesn't necessarily make good lyrics; glad to see that others feel that way, too :) .
 
Good Lyrics

Gooc Lyrics do not automatically make good poetry. So...there you have it.
 
Demensia,Your lyrics are pretty good!Its all in the rewrite sometimes..Like Beaver said "clowned" is cool..

One more time around..
To look into your face..
And watch it all come down..
It i'll fall {right} into place..

One more time around..
Gotta feel your warm embrace..
Wanna hear {a} {that} pleasant sound..
And just drift away..

Just ideas ..Cool song ...Good luck



Don
 
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