Oct-Nov Challenge aka Emptiness

[up-fiddler]

Not a lot of grins or smiley icons attached to this one. I got a tune in my head and scratched it out this morning in 15 minutes. (It probably shows!) I will have time to rework it or throw it away after it sits for a couple of days and I look it over again. In any event, consider me on board. I don't know how but I WILL find time to get it recorded in the next 35 days. I stuck with the literal term 'emptiness' because I love the way it just hangs on the tongue and can be vocally drawn out slowly and mournfully. In fact, I was singing the word Emptiness over and over in as many ways as I could and finally settled on one. Then I just worked the song backward from there. Thanks again to Geck for getting this going.

Emptiness
c.Dave Morehouse 2009

When I seek I always find
Loneliness and me entwined.
Each passing hour does remind
Me of this Emptiness.

All alone
Yet I’m surrounded.
The gates of hell
Have clearly sounded.
A time to reap
And time to sow.
The meter clangs
It’s time to go.

If I could simply find a friend
And not another passing trend.
I’d take their hand and we’d ascend
From this Emptiness.

All alone
Yet I’m surrounded.
The gates of hell
Have clearly sounded.
A time to reap
And time to sow.
The meter clangs
It’s time to go.

So I slip back to my room
Wishing life could now resume.
Perhaps exchange this Baby Boom
For some dark Emptiness?

All alone
Yet I’m surrounded.
The gates of hell
Have clearly sounded.
A time to reap
And time to sow.
The meter clangs
It’s time to go.

 

[louisv]

i love it.
and the ''All alone
Yet I’m surrounded.'' is awesome can't wait to hear it

 

[up-fiddler]

i love it.
and the ''All alone
Yet I’m surrounded.'' is awesome can't wait to hear it

Thanks very much. I believe , if they are running this Challenge like the others, that we have to wait until November 1 before we comment on lyrics. Then we will comment on everyone who enters so that we each get many sets of input and viewpoints......unless the rules changed in my absence.

I noticed that you have posted an entry. I can't wait to look at it and give appropriate feedback.....but I will. I am excited to see there are some entries. I see that you are a 'newbie'. If this is your first Challenge I think you will enjoy it and get lots of supportive and critical suggestions to help you hone your craft. Most of these have been great exercises. Welcome in to the fray.

 

[louisv]

ok sorry if i didn't know we have to wait but yeah i'
m new on this site but not to music

 

[gecko zzed]

Dave is right . . . for this challenge we're using the same method that Dave established some time ago.

On 1 November, I will gather all the lyrics and put them in one thread, and then invite comments about them.

But . . . you can comment about the process, if not the content.


Dave . . . I'm glad you are able to participate. It's good to see you back.

LouisV . . . thank you also for particpating.