New Song ... Tell me what you think!

[DARKSHINE]

Hey everyone.

This is just the music to this song I've written for a feature film.
This recording is supposed to be a demo, not the actual recording (I'm getting it recorded at a professional studio)

Heres the link... It's called "New One" for now

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=940701

Equipment:
Focusrite LE
Studio Projects B1 Condenser Mic
Tascam VL-4A Monitors (nothing to be proud of haha)
Sennheiser HD280's
M-Audio Axiom 25 midi controller
Fender Acoustic
Epiphone Les Paul Custom 03 make

By the way... This mix is 90% raw. I haven't EQ'd or Compressed anything yet. Only delay on one of the acoustics. All the rest is still clean, straight from the mic.

If anyone could give me feedback (or ways to improve it) on this mix that'd be great.
It's my first FULL length recording I've done.

Thanks
Hope you like it.
Daniel

 

[gecko zzed]

Is this the track of which you noted on the song writing forum that 'I'm currently under the great pleasure and pressure of writing a song for a feature film. I have completed the song, yet, I'm not happy with it. I have played it to various people, and they really loved the song. But yet, I'm still not happy with it. I'm not satisfied with the sound of the song, to me it just sounds "boring" and "crap"'?

The musical ideas are great, and I particularly like the single echoed guitar notes. I admire the restraint shown in creating that long build up. I don't know the brief for the song, nor anything about the film, but it's not hard to imagine this as an opening soundtrack song.

If you are going to re-record this elsewhere, then I'm not sure what is to be gained from critiquing the mix . . . except that you might find such comments useful later on.

My thoughts are:

1 The guitar tones are crisp and full, and with no EQ, you have done a highly credible job of recording.

2 I don't know if it's my imagination, but it seems that at times the lead acoustic is just pushing ahead of the beat.

3 The layering of instruments is very well done as the song progresses, and there is a lovely richness in there.

4 Is this intended to have vocals? If so, that will change the dynamics of the song considerably, and the next comment may not apply.

5 If this is the same track that you referred to as being 'boring and flat' elsewhere, there are a couple of areas you might tackle. Firstly, the rhythm acoustic, as good as it is, is fairly relentless and well-forward in the mix. This has a tendency to command attention, and therefore distract from the more subtle nuances in the background. Maybe you could slip the rhythm further back into the mix, and highlight more the interesting changes in the background, and maybe you could vary the playing a bit (unless you particularly wanted that Bolero-like relentlessness). The other thing you could think about is retaining the basic melody line (suggested by the other instruments), but change the chords underneath (for example, in the part that sounds like it would be a chorus, where it goes to the Bbm), play a GbMaj7 occasionally instead . . . do some substitutions like that.

Anyway . . . best of luck with it. I hope these comments help.

 

[dastrick]

That acoustic guitar sounds great. I would love to hear some lyrics with this song. The lead guitar riff is definitely rushed in parts. The synths at the end of the song don't seem to fit too well with the mood of the song (maybe was intended).

I had a vision of someone riding away in a car, looking out the window, thinking about what they were leaving behind...

Maybe lyrics would just mess up that whole sceen.

 

[DARKSHINE]

thanks

Is this the track of which you noted on the song writing forum that 'I'm currently under the great pleasure and pressure of writing a song for a feature film. I have completed the song, yet, I'm not happy with it. I have played it to various people, and they really loved the song. But yet, I'm still not happy with it. I'm not satisfied with the sound of the song, to me it just sounds "boring" and "crap"'?

The musical ideas are great, and I particularly like the single echoed guitar notes. I admire the restraint shown in creating that long build up. I don't know the brief for the song, nor anything about the film, but it's not hard to imagine this as an opening soundtrack song.

If you are going to re-record this elsewhere, then I'm not sure what is to be gained from critiquing the mix . . . except that you might find such comments useful later on.

My thoughts are:

1 The guitar tones are crisp and full, and with no EQ, you have done a highly credible job of recording.

2 I don't know if it's my imagination, but it seems that at times the lead acoustic is just pushing ahead of the beat.

3 The layering of instruments is very well done as the song progresses, and there is a lovely richness in there.

4 Is this intended to have vocals? If so, that will change the dynamics of the song considerably, and the next comment may not apply.

5 If this is the same track that you referred to as being 'boring and flat' elsewhere, there are a couple of areas you might tackle. Firstly, the rhythm acoustic, as good as it is, is fairly relentless and well-forward in the mix. This has a tendency to command attention, and therefore distract from the more subtle nuances in the background. Maybe you could slip the rhythm further back into the mix, and highlight more the interesting changes in the background, and maybe you could vary the playing a bit (unless you particularly wanted that Bolero-like relentlessness). The other thing you could think about is retaining the basic melody line (suggested by the other instruments), but change the chords underneath (for example, in the part that sounds like it would be a chorus, where it goes to the Bbm), play a GbMaj7 occasionally instead . . . do some substitutions like that.

Anyway . . . best of luck with it. I hope these comments help.

Yes this is the track that I noted to be "boring" and "crap", the one that I expressed complete dissatisfaction for. The thing is, I told myself, that I'm going to sit here, and I'm going to finish something. (I'm fighting my inside voice and how it almost always leads to procrastination or not being able to fulfill my minds ideal state of perfectionism.) So yes. I'm actually liking the sound of it now, but maybe its because I haven't done the vocals yet. (I really can't say I like my voice... I think its terrible)

The song is set in a cold winter outback and the film and song is called "Blue Winter". Picture a close group of friends around a campfire, underneath the stars... (I have never written for a film before, and I must say, It's much harder to write for something else rather than it being personal... very hard and at times I don't feel all that connected with the lyrics ... I'll post them up if you'd like) I'm glad that you can see this being somewhat cinematic

On your comments:

1. Thanks a lot =] At first I played the rhythmic pattern once all the way through. Then I done it again, and panned one left and the other right. I didn't like the sound of it, it was a bit too over the place in some areas. So I decided to take the better track, pan it left, duplicate it and pan it right. Then move one ahead by like a tad... It sounded more clean this way.

2. Yes... I'm actually annoyed that I missed it. My ears were sore I think. Haha I'll be fixing these parts up soon before I do vocals.

3. Thanks! I've always been a fan of those full rich mixes where there are instruments everywhere in the mix that suck you into an orgasmic frenzy.

4. Yes... I actually think this song is MUCH MORE vocal based. I believe the vocals really have an important role emotionally and melodically, as you can tell the acoustic guitar rhythm is quite simple. I'll re post with lyrics soon and you can be the first critique to rip it up.

5. "Maybe you could slip the rhythm further back into the mix, and highlight more the interesting changes in the background" ... I like this idea of slipping the rhythm guitar back to therefore highlight more interesting changes in the background. After listening back to the mix a few times, I noticed that the rhythm guitar was indeed really front on in the mix. I will implement this idea in the next mix so again, look out for it when I re-post. The GbMaj7 didn't feel right... for some reason. Another thing is that I actually wrote this song on piano, so whether there is some connection between the way I wrote it and the way I implemented it for guitar, I tried to keep the same mood and tone of the song.

Again, thanks for your comments! It means a lot! and your so very helpful!!

Cheers
Daniel

 

[DARKSHINE]

That acoustic guitar sounds great. I would love to hear some lyrics with this song. The lead guitar riff is definitely rushed in parts. The synths at the end of the song don't seem to fit too well with the mood of the song (maybe was intended).

I had a vision of someone riding away in a car, looking out the window, thinking about what they were leaving behind...

Maybe lyrics would just mess up that whole sceen.

Hey thanks a lot!!

Yeah I'll be doing vocals for it soon, and I'll let you know when I post it up. The lead guitar riff is rushed indeed... I will also be fixing this up.

What synths do you mean??
Are you talking about that harmonic pad that sits in the background throughout the song? Or the Cello parts? Or both combined in the end with the distortion guitar?
I actually thought it sounded good. I wanted to give the song some cinematic features... implementing some orchestral influence in there.

Your vision may be totally ruined when I post the lyrics
haha

Cheers for the comments.
Daniel

 

[dastrick]

What synths do you mean??
Are you talking about that harmonic pad that sits in the background throughout the song? Or the Cello parts? Or both combined in the end with the distortion guitar?

Daniel

I was talking about the last 30-40 sec. of the song with the distorted guitar. Maybe it's just my crap speakers at work.

 

[DARKSHINE]

I was talking about the last 30-40 sec. of the song with the distorted guitar. Maybe it's just my crap speakers at work.

Oh I see.
Well I thought that fitted well; It gave extra power and emotion to the song. I'm going to remix it all soon when I do the vocals and so on.

=]

Any more comments would be appreciated.
Thanks

 

[gecko zzed]

I didn't perceive the same problem that Dastrick did.

However, when you do a re-mix, have a think about the distorted guitars. Whether they fit may or may not be a problem, but I was wondering whether they are in fact a musical cliche. I do the same thing . . . building up the end of a song by throwing in a couple of fuzzy guitars . . . and I do it often. But most of the time it is not really necessary.

So think about what's the least you can get away with.

 

[Murdersgalore]

I'd loose the distorted guitars and let the vocals be the emotional crescendo. I also didn't care much for the delayed acoustic lead. Maybe it was because of the fore-mentioned timing problem. I still think it may play out better using something with a little more sustain (you did mention an epiphone les paul, don't those things have good clean sustain?).

 

[gecko zzed]

I'd loose the distorted guitars and let the vocals be the emotional crescendo. I also didn't care much for the delayed acoustic lead. Maybe it was because of the fore-mentioned timing problem. I still think it may play out better using something with a little more sustain (you did mention an epiphone les paul, don't those things have good clean sustain?).

Yes. When you get vocals in there, you may discover that they provide sufficient drama at the end of the song.

But I wouldn't be too keen on losing the delayed acoustic lead. It is so sparse, so exquisitely empty, that it would be a shame to replace it with something more conventional