New Song I'm Working On- Does Vocal Melody Sound Appropriate?

AaronChapman

New member
I'm going to write the guitar parts for the song when I get the vocals figured out:
Lyrics:
I was feeling down,
So I fled from town.
I was feeling down,
So I fled from town.
And then you came around,
Filled me up with your spell.
With your wicked spell on me.

And If I wasn't always drinking,
I might know,
How you poison me so.

You're an expensive glass of wine,
But, you taste so sweet.
You're expensive glass of sorrow,
But baby,
But baby,
You taste so sweet,
But baby,
But baby,
You taste so sweet.

And it's not clear to me now,
And it's not clear to me,
It's a mystery, what you've done to me.
(this is the lyrical structure I have decided on. I didn't quite sing it this way on the recording though) Also, how can I improve vocally?
https://soundcloud.com/figure8s/test
 
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