New Song Demo - Please Critique

[fucanay]

Hey guys. I just put this tune together today and wanted to get some feedback on it.

While I do pride myself on being able to do all the instruments and vocals on all the songs I do, I don't get that band critique and it helps. So I'm hoping you guys will give me some.

Please remember this is just a demo at this point and is not complete (missing lyrics, sloppy playing, abrupt ending, too short, etc.).

Thanks in advance.

fucanay

 

[xfinsterx]

it was clear and everything.
the song was cool too.
i got respect for the do it yourself composer.
im one myself sometimes and i know how fun it can be.

good work so far.

peace.

 

[Pro Tools User]

I like it, very catchy. Keep up the good work. fine tune it to the best that your capable of and repost. I'm sure more people would critical listen and point out things they hear in the mix or dont hear.

As far as the tune goes like I said its very catchy. I would like to hear it when its closer to being finished. Again great work man ^5s

 

[SOUND DIAGNOSIS]

I would jack up the vocals a bit to be more up front and perhaps the enunciation of the lyrics would be more decipherable. Would like to hear the hats and cymbals a bit more crisp, as well as the snare. Bass guitar level is there, but needs to be eq'd up a bit in the mid ranges to cut through perhaps. Nice job! --Lee

 

[spongebath01]

Very good!

The instruments are all very good as well as the vocals.

It may just be me but I can't understand the vocals...

I like the vibe it gives off as well.

Good job!


P.S.

Is it just me or does it end right when the tamborine came in?

 

[darnold]

The performance could be a little tighter overall. The mix seems a little left channel heavy was my first impression.

It has pretty good clairty but it sounds on the thin side in my opinion. bass could have a little more definition.

Having the vocals panned like that is really distracting too. I would do such extreme panning if your tyring to double the vocals like that, its very distinguishable that you have different vocal recordings.

danny

 

[fucanay]

Thanks for all the comments.

I see a lot of you made production, mix and performance comments and those are all useful. But the main focus was whether the tune was any good.

I have a new version posted. The sound quality, mix and performance are even worse but I think the final arrangement is done.

So here it is.

fucanay

 

[krimson]

Wow, that's quite different than the other version sound wise.

 

[SOUND DIAGNOSIS]

Oh yeah, that's different alright! I like the "phone quality" EQ on the chorus. Nice touch. Drums are sounding way more together in the mix, but the toms get do get a bit lost on the tom-rolls. Also, the bass seems to have been brought down too low to provide that "basement" that is lacking. Like the song man, like what you have done with it so far, like to hear you tweak it some more. Nice improvement! ---Lee

 

[guitarhunny]

Cool song! I'd like to hear a killer guitar solo in there somewhere to give it a little more dimension, also maybe some vocal vamping (a little heavy metal screech wouldn't be too bad before a guitar solo just to make it sound a little more irreverent)