New pop song - please critique

  • Thread starter Thread starter leahkim
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leahkim

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Hey everyone,
I've just finished up a new song that I would like comments / criticisms on. I got tired of hearing my voice, so I had my sister-in-law do the vocals on this one. I also spent a great deal more time EQ'ing, mixing, and fine-tuning this than my past efforts (and therefore still haven't had the time to fix my old songs yet to incorporate the comments I got from this board!)

It's at www.nowhereradio.com/leahkim/singles
The title is Mindbender
 
Cool Tune

That was a cool little tune. It had a very 70's folk kind of feel to it and had a lot of fluidity.

I liked the background vocals. I thought the bass could have been a little bit punchier, but the actual bass line fit the mood of the song well.

Did you record a real drumset? That was a pretty good sound you got on there.

Good job!
 
Boydrj,
Glad to hear you liked the drum sound!!! It's from a new sample disk set I bought called Discrete Drums. It has recorded drum sequences on 8 separate tracks in 24 bit. I bought the pro set (12 CD's) for $200, so I am glad the money was well spent... The track set I used for anyone familiar with the CD's was called Air Brush. I sped up the samples a bit to fit my tempo. Thanks for listening!

leahkim
 
That is a decent drum sound. Is that for Acid?
 
Happy tune....

I am really liking this mix. The position of the bgv's in the mix is very subtle and just beautiful. The vocal is clear and distinct without being overpowering, and it is just pleasing to listen to.:cool:
 
The drum seq's are definately cool. The first thing I noticed was the "room" sound on the drums. Really sounds like a set of drums set up in someone's living room with a wood floor. Cool tune---on my speakers I found the bass kind of indestinct...hard to pick out in the mix. Nice song.
 
yeah...you got your moneys worth with the drum cd. The stereo ambience on them is great...sound very 'live' for a lack of better words. nice bg vocs too.
I'd take a little more enthusiasm/performance on the main vocals...but I know how that goes. I do like that it is a loud vocal mix. I think the balance is just right there. nice tune too, btw. At 3:30+...with the long fade, the tune really kicks in and has a good sound to it. The pno fits well. Thinking about it now...maybe some more apparent decent small room, warmish reverb, would sound good on the vocals, and help them out too.
 
Track rat,
The set I have is in .wav format only. They have a homepage, I think it's www.discretedrums.com. It wasn't "acidized" so I basically had to cut and paste the loops of each track over and over. I did use Sonar and changed the tempo of each loop, though.
Sonnylarsen,
Thanks for the nice comments!
Lt. Bob,
Yeah, the room sound is one of the things I really liked about the samples. They give you a L and R track of room ambience, so you can adjust the levels as you like. I think I set the levels up about halfway or so. I didn't do ANYTHING else to the samples, not even EQ or any sort of effects. I just played with the volumes of each track to get them in balance for my song's style. Glad you liked the song! I am always a bit unsure about how much bass to mix with. I use Event PS6's, and I find that when I sit close up, I don't hear the bass much at all, but then I can back up a few feet and it comes through. Part of it is the room I mix in, and part I guess is just the long wavelength of the bass frequencies??? I also have been checking the mixes on my computer speakers which have a subwoofer -- I guess it's really hard to tell how much bass to use; I remember specifically turning the bass track down in volume significantly... maybe too much?
Mixmkr,
Thanks for the comments! I am definitely locked in with the vocals, though -- my sister-in-law visited just for a few days, so I only got a few takes with my rough mix, and worked with the vocals from there. Unfortunately, no chance for a retake until I might see her again in a few months! :)

leahkim
 
sounds very much like macle. Macle is good.

I liked the lead vocals except that song became thong with too much deessing
 
Cool tune...
The drums sound great...those are awesome samples for sure...
Good mix...in your face vox is the right approach...
Bass is lost in the mix...I would have liked to hear it brought out more...
The harmony vox are outstanding!
Nice song,
Take it easy,
Joe
 
This could be a hit if it was performed by the right artist.You should try your best to pitch it to some artists.It already has the elements of a hook and sing-along-ability(people pick up on the chorus quick and sing along) with a wide open space for vocal harmonies to go crazy.Sounds really good.
 
Congrats, leahkim. Great song!
Make's me think of Tracy Chapman for some reason.

I really like the flow in it. Only time it sort of stops is when the solo comes in. Maybe you should leave the piano in there during the solo or get a guitar sound that goes more hand in hand with the lead vocals.

Do I hear to much de-essing or is it just a slight lisp?


Anyway, she has a cool voice and the harmonies are great.


giggsy
 
CyanJaguar,
I love Macle's stuff, so I certainly take that as a compliment! Oh, now I get the song-thong comment... you know, I don't think I put any de-essing on her, she just has a natural lisp. :)

Joro,
Thanks for the nice comments. Hmm, that is the 3rd comment on the bass. Sounds like I will have to go back in there and raise the bass level just a tad.

Kramer,
Wow! That is flattering. Maybe I will actually consider trying to get this song sold. Sounds like a lot of people are enjoying this one.

Giggsy,
Thank you! I hadn't thought of Tracy Chapman, but I can sort of hear that style in it. Yeah, I have to agree with the solo -- I tried about three different solo styles and instruments, and I guess it's fairly obvious that guitar is not my strong point. :) I had a lot of trouble with the guitar sound, and have actually been thinking seriously about buying one of those Behringer V-Amp2's since they seem to have a wide variety of simulated sounds that might blend better. Maybe I will work on a big piano solo instead, since keyboards are more of my forte. Yeah, she has a slight lisp; no de-essing on the track.

Thank you all for your comments!

leahkim
 
Yeah, the intro and esp the first verse reminded me of her...
I really like the lisp! Make sure your sister-in-law visits more often!!!

Make the bass a little louder but not much. The bass sound is a tad muddy but pretty rich, I think.

Never tried the V-amp. It's been praised by some friends of mine but they use it for live purposes.


giggsy
 
Hi

Just checked out those tunes. I really liked them. The second one was my favourite, really nice sound, the vocals were great and the harmonies were well cool...... later
 
yeah that is a really nice drum sound...

close to the sound i got when i recorded my set last time...but, just a tad cleaner....very convincing.

yeah...I like the song a lot...very well done.

vocalist has got to go...sorry :(

heh.
 
Erland,
Thanks for listening, glad you liked the tunes!

Wes,
Didn't like the vocalist, eh? Hey, at least you didn't have to listen to my voice again! :) Thanks for the comments.

I went ahead and bought a v-amp2 (hey, it was only $125 and it even comes with a case!) and was thinking about redoing the guitar solo altogether, but now I am reconsidering and I'm just going to leave it as is. I do have to say I am impressed with the v-amp in the few days I've played with it, though.

I'm still not too sure what to do about the bass. Any other comments on the mix of the bass?

Thank you all for your comments, I value them all! I figure after I write and record a few more songs I am going to stop doing new ones and just tweak the old ones based on comments from this board.

leahkim
 
leah - well...hard to say about the bass.

it may be a little fat for my tastes. I am not listening on a reference system or anything...but, its there for me.
 
leahkim,

I agree with those who say this song has LOTS of potential. Reminds me of Abba! But I don't want to lie, vocals sounded a little harsh, like when she hits the word "true" at the end of each chorus. This isnt a stab, Im telling ya, if you could get the right vocalist on that one, wheeeeeeew!!!!! It would be a keeper. While I'm at it, I might even trying pushing the backups up a little, and scrap the barritone voice in there. Please take this constructivly! Great song,

Peace, S/R
 
Solomons,
ABBA is definitely a compliment -- they're one of my favorite groups. Probably shows in my music (it all seems to sound like 70's pop...) Maybe if I could get Agnetha Faltskog to sing Mindbender? :) Thanks for listening.

leahkim
 
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