New Home Recording - Please Critique

Rate the song "What Goes Around"

  • Smash Hit! Great Stuff

    Votes: 1 10.0%

  • Hey, this is pretty decent...

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Does not do anything for me

    Votes: 3 30.0%

  • Ohh boy, this needs some work

    Votes: 6 60.0%
  • Total voters
    10
T

tmoberly

New member
Hi all,

I spent the past couple weeks recording a song in my home studio with a friend, and would appreciate any critiques of the production/recording or the song itself.

You can download/listen to it for free at

http://artists.mp3s.com/artist_song/3278/3278952.html

mp3.com will ask you for some info, but you can enter a bogus email address and you will still be able to download the song.

We recorded this on my PC using N-track.

Thanks
-Tim
 
Recording sounds pretty good, mix as well.

The song reminds me of ---Sesame Street ---kinda stuff if you know what I mean.

Thats not meant as a bad thing just an observation


Peace
Bill
 
Thanks, Bill.

I appreciate you taking the time to listen.

Do you have any material available online that I could listen to in return for your time?

-Tim
 
Is the telephone voice effect intentional, or simply poor tracking?

The guitar is very thin-sounding, and has absolutely no dynamics at all.... and the bass is simply a muddy boom - it also cuts in and out sporadically (as if the bass player forgot their part)...

And although I don't usually comment on people's song from an artistic point of view (since everyone's artistic sense is unique) - this song NEEDS to be trimmed down from over 6 minutes - the arrangement and instrumentation isn't strong or interesting enough to warrant that length... (I actually thought the clip had repeated as I was typing this!)

Sorry - definitely in the "Oh boy, this needs some work" category...
 
Some clever lyrics here and there. Some of them get a little laborious. But some, as I say, are cleverly written. Props on that. The tune is nice, but at over 7 minutes maybe a little long.

I like the high harmony vocal part. For some reason it's not blending as well as I think it could. Perhaps singing in a "half whisper"? There's the little part on the word "around" where it hangs on longer than the lead... That to me didn't work. I'd just have it follow the lead vocal at that point. I'd like a three part too.

There are other opportunities for harmonies during the verses. The first chorus I think ought to have harmony vocals.

It's a real thin vocal sound. Not sure of the gear, especially the mic. The acoustic sound is thin as well. There needs to be some more "warmth" in that. Some words at the begining of phrases get covered by the guit.

A little struggle with the word "empty" at 5:17. Something weird sounding around 4:17-4:20. Like a guitar pick hitting the side of a guitar.
 
tmoberly said:
Hi all,

I spent the past couple weeks recording a song in my home studio with a friend, and would appreciate any critiques of the production/recording or the song itself.

You can download/listen to it for free at

http://artists.mp3s.com/artist_song/3278/3278952.html

mp3.com will ask you for some info, but you can enter a bogus email address and you will still be able to download the song.

We recorded this on my PC using N-track.

Thanks
-Tim
Click to expand...

oh my. that was horrible. stop singing forever. you can kind of play the guitar, so maybe work on that a bit. but your singing is bad. don't do it anymore. really.
 
Hey

I can't get it to work!!! My puter is f'ed up....hey if you feel like being nice...NWR lets you post for free :(
I can't hear it so, I'll keep my eyes peeled for a different link....BTW do you have a website that I might be able to go to instead?
Either that or, maybe I need to do something to get it to work...any ideas?
 
hi all,

Thanks again for the "frank" comments and feedback. I appreciate you taking the time to listen.

This was written and performed by a close friend, while I served as engineer/producer.

I really think the song is well written and strong, but do agree with your comments about length. However, I also think that the verses are decent and would hate to lose one to trim down the song. I'll also revisit some of the sonic/engineering aspects you've observed here.

to Blue Bear Sound : Regarding the "telephone effect", I'm sure what you mean.

to bdbdbucksKID: I'll find a free place to post. What is NWR?

thanks again,
-Tim
 
The main thing i noticed is there are no dynamics at all in this song. I dunno if thats with the artist or engineer, but work on it.

Everything does sound kinda thin has a little too much high end in it, which makes the vocals kinda sound like a telephone. what mic did you use on this?

danny
 
darnold said:
The main thing i noticed is there are no dynamics at all in this song. I dunno if thats with the artist or engineer, but work on it.

Everything does sound kinda thin has a little too much high end in it, which makes the vocals kinda sound like a telephone. what mic did you use on this?

danny
Click to expand...

I used an Octava condensor mic on the vocals. For the acoustic, I used 2 Octava condensor mics (1 in front, 1 above). Bass was mic'd with a Shure SM57 and also fed in direct. Electric guitar was mic'd with a singel Shure SM57.

I did fiddle a bit with the EQ on the vocals, which could account for the tone.

-Tim
 
well....

It is a complete song, with a concept and an even mix. Having said that....

The concept is, of course, completely unoriginal. It's an extremely long pop song with no suprises built entirely around a common saying. The people described in the verses are characatures who don't actually experience anything.

The chord structure is pleasant. The melody is basically like a 50's folk song (seen "Mighty Wind" yet?) with no dynamics or anything of rhythmic interest. The singer is basically on key but has no command or strength. The guitar strumming is strictly amateurish.

The bass does come in and out, although the line, from what I could hear, is pretty good. The bass and guitar sound is brittle. They both sound like cheap instruments recorded with cheap mics. Perhaps part of the problem is the room acoustics. Is it recorded via the sound card that came with the PC? Perhaps an inadequate sound card is part of the problem too.

I hate to be discouraging to a newbie, but I would put this into the "good practice" pile and start again.
 
I pretty much concur what LI_Slim said there.

Take this anyway you want it but I really think you should get rid of that spoken part at the end - it's incredibly cheesy.
 
The telephone effect that Blue Bear referred to is the way the vox is EQ'ed. very midrangey......

Whether it's so good that you don't want to lose a verse is a personal taste matter.....but I can tell you that I lost interest at about 2 1/2 minutes. The melody gets very repetitious and regardless of the lyrical content it doesn't stay compelling.
Actually, I hear what you're saying about the words, but if you want the length, you're gonna have to add some decoration to it....put some guitar fills, or something.

As for the performance....it's ok......a little shaky with the vocals really.......I hear the basis for something cool and most good things need work to get to their final destination.
 
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