This track needs work homie. Sounds like you're trying to fit too much into two bars. Slow the hell down a little cause now it's off beat and sounds like a dyslexic person reading Time magazine over a beat. Your hook is weak homie, put some more creativity into that. Practice on this a little more. Your hook is supposed to be the part of your song that people wait for. This doesn't make that happen even remotely IMO.
Also, your mix needs serious work, but this can be hard without some practice and dedication to the art (and it IS an art) of mixing. I'm not sure if you're recording your vocals at too loud of a level, not mixing it right, or boosting it too much in your mix. If you wanna give us specs of your studio (software and hardware) it might help folks here give you more solutions. Anyway, when I get around to it, I'll try to find some of the ebooks I have a hold of on how to make your mix better. It should help out a lot of cats, so don't take it personal homie.
Your flow could be deep but it just is too rushed. How many rappers have you heard spit deep shit that fast? Not many. Don't ruin the message by rushing the delivery.
Fiev