My Saturday trip to Guitar Center

T

tdukex

Man of the Muse
Well...yes, it was, as I'm sure you have already guessed, surreal.

As I opened the door, a harsh sonic wind stung my ears and seemed to slap me backwards like cheap reverb in a small room. The sound was deafening. I clamped hard onto the doorframe and half-staggered/pulled my torso through the door then stood there, briefly, trying to breathe, thinking this must be what awaits a talented but condemed musician as he steps through the gates of hell.

To my right, in a clusterfuck of grimey, mottled hair and entangled guitar chords, sat a dozen or so pre and post pubescent creatures of undiscernible sex, each enthusiastically dipping into their shallow well of talent while over-amplifying the resulting musical atrocities with the mystifying eagerness of a fool who insists on defending himself at his own trial.

Murderous mutants with their Axes.

I steered my way through the rubble of stomp boxes and fallen guitar stands toward the classical guitar room. Amost there. A sales zombie brushed against me near the bass amps, hesitated and turned, then stared through me with dead eyes and mouthed the programed words: "Finding ever'thing alright?" I nodded and pushed forward, avoiding his eyes. He may not have been one of the undead, but he was under their influence.

Once inside the sancutuary of the classical guitar room, I pulled down a nice Esteve from its perch and began to caress a simple melody from its delicate mating of nylon and wood. Then, just as I was about to execute a stylish little turn-around...

Bvroomafrappafrappa Scoureeech!!!

I jerked my head around, stared through the plexiglass, and...and...it was horrible. I can't describe it. A bass, a boy, and a big-assed amp...and no supervision. Nastiest thing my ears have ever been exposed to.

Panicked, I ran, crawled, fought my way out of that fucking store like Charles Bronson trying to get out of the collapsing tunnel in "The Great Escape." I don't remember anything about the 30 minute trip home, except I drove in complete silence. And now, still alive, and much, much wiser, I am telling my story to you.

Do NOT go to Guitar Center on a Saturday.

It is the den of the dragon.
 
For your sake, I'm sorry that you live 30 minutes away. There's one about 10 minutes from my house so it's real easy to go pick up some strings when, at band practice, we realive that the last D strings in the house are installed on guitars, and one of those just popped. ;)
 
You poor over the hill man you, don't you remember playing around with the gear in the store when you were young, following the universal rule... " the more you suck, the louder you play" so you'de rather be entangled in hair and looking at the heavy end of a louisville slugger while they beat you for crack money.

poor man lost his passion for music.












































Ps, just kidding, that was a funny story.
 
Monday or Tuesday nights is best, homework nights and the riff raff is busy elsewhere.

On a positive note, I finally got around to going to the Hollywood GC here in LA. Usual stuff but the Vintage Guitar section which is downstairs is a real treat. 1952 Telecaster, $20,000. Had not played one of those in a long time. 1956 Strat, $18K. Excellent tone but in pretty bad shape. Dozens of old Martins. Fender, VOX and Marshall amps from the golden era circa 50s-60s.

Other old notables, Orange amps, Ventura guitars, Ampex guitars - just a lot of neat old stuff.

Definitely a trip down the history of electronic music.
 
I'd be a bad GC floor salesman.

It grinds me the wrong way to see 14 year olds hammering away on $3000 guitars. I'd be like, "Hey, you little punks, get your grubby hands off that $3000 guitar, unless you plan on buying it within the next 5 minutes!"

Yeah, I'd be a bad sales rep at Guitar Center. I'd probably be fired.;)
 
Oh yeah, the drum section is worse,...

and the drums they have set up are usually the pricey kits, too, with the same groups of kids hammering away on them. I couldn't work there, or I would be insane. The whole place is deafening, sometimes. Sometimes I need earplugs just to shop there.:rolleyes:


... Otherwise, I do like shopping there. I get good service & good prices, and most of the sales reps treat me very well. I practically felt like I had a personal sales rep, there for a while. If you have a steady buying habit, it doesn't hurt to have a GC rep knocking $10-$20 off every item, over and above published sale prices.

I was in with a rep there, who was pretty highly placed in the pecking order of floor sales reps, and man, he'd give me great deals on everything. Returns? No problem. If they did not have exactly what I wanted, he'd order it. If I wanted to go through 10 unopened boxes to find a flawless instrument, then he'd bring 'em out from the back. If they did not have the right case for me right there, he'd offer that I take another case home on loaner, & return it when the right case came in. If I wasn't 100% satisfied with something, he'd extend service until I was.

F/I, For a while I was buying soft gig bags for guitars/basses, but a bit later realized they don't provide quite enough protection for my needs. I came in & returned 5 like-new, unused, just-left-the-store-recently soft gig bags, & purchased several new hardcases. It was all a lengthy transaction, but it was no problem. When I purchased the Tascam US-428, took it home, and HATED IT, man, come time to return it, & they gave me a refund right on the spot, 425 smakers! Sure, a bit later I turned that ill-spent US-428 money & purchased a new Tascam 424mkIII.

Anyway, my hat's off to him, Doug @ GC in Studio City. I think he's guitar dept sales manager now, an no doubt it's because he knows how to extend the utmost in customer service to patrons. Of the GC's I've shopped at, it seems to me that the cust-satisfaction ethic is hammered into them, as employees. I don't know about you, but it seems that way to me.

I'm not buying too much gear lately, but I know where to get my best deals.;)

I couldn't work there, though, I'd probably snap at someone & get fired. Haha. I'd have them give me their credit card before demoing a PRS.
 
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ive found the bass players that dont know what they are doing go back to the acustic guitar section and go into that loud room back there. why? im not sure...

the GC people, if they are busy, dont like to help you much. but if you catch them at the right time they will jump through hoops for you, and then you can lite the said hoops on fire, and make them continue jumping. i was in there playing a musicman stingray, something im never going to have lol, but i was playing it and the guys like how do you like it? i told him the color was wrong, it was a light blue, and he went in the back and brought out a black one for me, well, i didnt buy it but i was impressed.



i was in there one time buying a pedal, this kid had a bass guitar going into a guitar amp through a guitar effects board....i think this is why people think bass players are stupid.

freak
 
Bass Freak said:
ive found the bass players that dont know what they are doing go back to the acustic guitar section and go into that loud room back there. why? im not sure...

i was in there one time buying a pedal, this kid had a bass guitar going into a guitar amp through a guitar effects board....i think this is why people think bass players are stupid.

freak
Click to expand...

LOL:D
 
Torpid-x said:
...so you'de rather be entangled in hair and looking at the heavy end of a louisville slugger while they beat you for crack money.
Click to expand...

Actually, that's kinda what it felt like.:D

I felt like T.S. Eliot being forced to watch an amateur production of Cats.
 
sometimes i think they should put a sign on the door that says you cant play with stuff unless you actually know what your doing...



....hey even i have been known to go back into the crazy techno room place thingy and make techno :D so i guess id be out


freak
 
subtractor said:
You should go into the drum section sometime. I wonder how those people keep sane.
Click to expand...

They are not sane. I work at a Chicago GC in pro audio and the drum guys are just like goalies. totally f-3king nuts.
 
tdukex said:
Actually, that's kinda what it felt like.:D

I felt like T.S. Eliot being forced to watch an amateur production of Cats.
Click to expand...
Is that the same like:
"I felt like Andrew Lloyd Webber being forced to watch an proffesional production of Showgirls. " :confused:
If so, than yes, I know what you mean. (eventhough I still have high regards for Elizabeth Berkley. I mean, if that bitch can act with A.C. Slater, Lisa Turtle, Zack Norris, Kelly Ka-POW-ski and Screech Powers around her... she's Shakespeare/Broadway material baby! :D )

Anyway, I feel your pain dude. Recently I ordered a Hughes & Kettner Tubefactor (OD/DS pedal) from my SMALL local store. I was chatting around with the guitar tech there, whom I know kinda personally (I play in a band with his brother also, who is a KING on bassguitar!), anyway, I asked him if I could check the pedal out for a sec. "Sure" he goes. I plugged it in, raised the gain a bit, but the amp was still on moderate bedroom level. Anyway, playing guitar for 10 years now with 9 years of lessons (both private from a 'official' teacher and now in my 'college', the Rock Academy in Tilburg) I do have developed some chops, and I know by now that trying to play Stairway to Heaven, Little Wing, Hey Joe, Enter Sandman or Seek and Destroy are REALLY not-done to play in a store.

But this lil' punk was in the iso-booth doing Metallica-covers for the last 20 minutes straight. I mean, he went all the way from a half-assed "Motorbreath" via an even more half-assed "For whom the bell tolls" to a totally quarter-assed "One". Meanwhile I was noodling some cool and ballsy blues/rock licks, but the lil' fuck kept raising his amp level, eventhough HE's sitting there in the ISO-booth and I'm standing on the side, playing mildly. :confused:

Man, if thought-transfer was possible, I'd give him a mayor kick in the brains with "come back when you play BETTER than me, than you might have some right to play louder, asshole!" :mad:

I gave up, bought the pedal, plugged it in @home and played along with AC/DC Live in Donington '91 for 1 hour straight!
 
It's no different on this side of the pond.............I couldn't work in a store, otherwise some kids would be wearing their nuts as earings.

Hey Speedy,

My alter-ego said Hi (string) over at H/Central:D .

BTW.......... AC/DC, live at Donington '91...........wooooohooooooo. If you are into that kind of stuff, you don't happen to know if there were ever any recordings of the Donington, "Monsters Of Rock" concerts from the early 80's, especially '81.

Regards.

:cool:
 
Of course, it's not like I'm any kind of guitar God. As a matter of fact, I probably suck compared to most of you. I just need a little space, and I have enough sense not to advertise my musical inadequacies with the volume pot turned to 11.:rolleyes:

Usually.:D
 
I actually did work at GC quite a few years back.
I think overall GC's are a good thing.
It blows when it's real crowded...hard to get service or think/hear or try out a piece of gear when some 12 year old is trying out a triple rectifier. And the staff isn't always the most knowledgeable when it comes to gear.

But I really don't miss the salesman at "old school" music stores, that gave you dirty looks if you touched one of the Squiers on display. Or those rinky-dink little stores that sell school band equipment and teach flute-and charge $6 for a pack of guitar strings. Or them asking if 'you really plan on buying it?' when you just want to try out a freakin' Peavey combo amp! Or humidified acoustic guitar rooms that are locked and have a sign that reads: Please Do Not Enter Without Salesman Present. Geez, all those Seagulls and $150 Simon & Patricks aren't exactly classic Martin's and Taylors :)
 
I, too, have a love/hate relationship w/ music stores. I prefer to shop online for just about everything when I can. If I know exactly what I want and can get it from Musician's Friend, I will just to avoid having to relive the above scenario.
When I do have to try something out, I try to find someone that has one before going to a store. Trying out something at GC is generally a fruitless labor. When I'm listening to something, I WANT IT QUIET!!! I don't want some hack competing with me for volume.
GC marketing has some fundemental problems, and noise is one. Another one also stems from hacks trying out gear: Have you ever looked at a "new" guitar from GC? It's been through 5.000 chumps-worth of greasy hands, big belt buckles, and careless handling. New???? Ha!
The problem is I think the bulk of their dollars comes from beginner/ mid level musicians that don't know how to spend wisely yet and go through a lot gear trying to get "their sound." As a result, they market to that audience. They try to make it a gathering place for kids that like to hang out in music stores.
On the other hand, there is a small music shop near me that carries a lot of high-end gear (Grosh, Taylor, Breedlove, PRS, et al). The prices are more expensive, as you would expect, but it is a much nicer environment to try gear in. If GC could cultivate that kind of culture, but keep low prices, they would be a winner.

Aaron
http://www.voodoovibe.com
 
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