I don't really have any comments on the song itself. The mix sounds a little over-compressed for my tastes.
Also, it sounds like something got normalized really loudly and its noise floor was pushed to the front of the mix.
The individual instrumental elements themself sort of seem to meander all over and never really come together for my tastes. the "fast" picking part that comes in after the first "chorus" is not grooving with the drums. It sounds akward and the tail end of that phrase is always rushed. That stuck out to me.
I'm not sure how you recorded the drums - 1 mic? 2 mics? I actually kind of dig the low fi sound you got because the kit itself sounds nice and everything got picked up.
recorded the drums with 2 oh's (samson co2's), kik (beta 52) no resonator hole, about 4" from reso head. beta 57 under the snare, and a 57 in a corner picking up the room.