Morning, Noon, and Night

[icystorm]

Greetings all:

I've been very busy with my business lately, but I've had an idea for a new song for quite a while that I am finally beginning to work on. I thought I would post it here to pressure myself into eventually finishing it.

Here is a very brief clip of an early version of the chorus, developed using my computer midi with multiple tracks. There are no lyrics or vox yet.

morning noon and night (early chorus).mp3

The title is "Morning, Noon, and Night". It's a hopeful song about unrequited love for a woman and an unwillingness to let go.

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[icystorm]

I wrote the lyrics for the chorus this morning, but everything is still very tentative and fluid at this early stage. Next, I will compose the music for the verses, a middle section, and the bridge, followed by the lyrics for the verses and the bridge.

morning noon and night (early chorus).mp3

Morning, Noon, and Night
Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with ChordPulse 2.1 and Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Harlot's Sleeves
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2011

verse 1
???

chorus
Morning comes again
Awaken to the haunts that take me
Screaming from your arms, baby
Morning breaks my heart
Awaken from your love that soothes me
Wrapped up close inside you, baby
I want you morning, noon, and night

verse 2
???

bridge
???

 

[Strat1958]

All work and no play makes Joseph a dull boy

I should know, I have just come out of an 11 month dry spell! No writing, no recording, just working.
However, my newest song is #1 on the Soundclick Acoustic Rock chart as of this morning. Whew, I can still do this!

Now get to work on the song, Joseph...I know it'll be great, just like all of your stuff. I have a couple of your songs in rotation on my iPod.

 

[Phrasemaker]

Joseph, It's a little difficult to get a good impression of your chorus without knowing what kind of progression you are going to use in terms of influencing its melodic phrasing. at first glance it comes across as slightly cliché, but then unrequited love has been written for centuries which leaves very little scope for totally original sounding lines. I think the challenge for a song writer is to do something individual with the lines which puts a unique stamp upon them. I'm also wondering how it works in respect of syllables because I don't know if you'll be using a chord progression which repeats at least once through the chorus, I suspect you'll go through a progression twice having looked at how the lyrics run, but having said that there is scope to have the repetition evolve and maybe resolve a minor key or a simple inversion to vary the overall tonality to emphasize or augment particular words.

It would be worth punctuating even a loose draft, to allow the reader to know where to stop and allow the content to settle before opening up for the following lines, pretty much like scoring musical phrases where the pauses and stops become essential aspects of a finished piece. Yes, a tough genre to write, I wish you well with getting some more of the song drafted as that will give context which will allow a more informed perusal of your piece.

Regards

Tim

 

[icystorm]

Thanks, Mike! I just listened to your new song. Good stuff! Congrats on the Soundclick performance. Awesome!

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[icystorm]

Thanks for the insightful feedback, Tim. You are obviously a student of music and your critique is appreciated.

I sing in a staccato-style and my creative influence is largely taken from one of the songwriting masters of all time, Barry Gibb, and to a lesser degree some of the popular music composers in the 1980s such as John Farrar, David Foster, Duran Duran, and others.

 

[Phrasemaker]

Joseph, I think your creative influences are people who have had an impact on many a listener and Barry Gibb most certainly features in my music collection. That's a great aspect of music, the way it provides elements that people can share and enjoy. Reading through your chorus, knowing you sing staccato-style adds interest for me, I wish you well with creating the other parts of the song.

all the best

Tim

 

[rayc]

Sounds good mate. It would seem, from my reading, that it'll be a busy chorus with a lot of words to get through but I trust you've mapped that out to suit your phrasing & melody.
I look forward to developments.

 

[icystorm]

Thanks, Tim. It seems like we enjoy some of the same styles/genres of music. I have finished the demo backing track and lyrics. I will add the vocals soon. In the meantime, do you have any songs for us to review and enjoy?

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[icystorm]

Thanks for your encouragement as always, Ray. I finished the backing track demo and lyrics. Vox are next.

Morning, Noon and Night (backing track demo).mp3

Morning, Noon and Night
Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with ChordPulse 2.1 and Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Harlot's Sleeves
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2012

verse 1
Take me
You held your hands out to me
One of life's creations
You loved me
In my dreams

chorus
Morning comes again
Awaken to the haunts that pull me
Screaming from your arms, baby
Morning breaks my heart
Awaken from your love that soothes me
Wrapped up close inside you, baby
I want you morning, noon and night

verse 2
Love's voice
You prayed in tongues and saved me
One of night's creations
You loved me
Now I bleed
(repeat chorus)

bridge
Stretch your final kiss
Love's so fleeting
Do you come to mean and be all things to me, baby
Make a final wish
It's you I'll love until I die
(release)

release
Morning comes again
Awaken to the haunts that pull me
Screaming from your arms, baby
Morning breaks my heart
Awaken from your love that soothes me
Wrap your warmth around me, baby
(final line modifiers for each pass)
Wrap your legs around me, baby (pass 2)
Wrap yourself around me, baby (pass 3)
Wrap your love around me, baby (final pass)

 

[chuckduffy]

2 cents. I've never engaged in this kind of thing before, but 'Screaming' just doesn't seem appropos to the theme, especially when coupled with the word baby.

 

[icystorm]

2 cents. I've never engaged in this kind of thing before, but 'Screaming' just doesn't seem appropos to the theme, especially when coupled with the word baby.

Hi Chuck. Thanks very much for reading my lyrics and commenting.

The lyric you mentioned is sort of a play on the old cliche, "he had to be dragged away kicking and screaming," and to a much lesser degree, perhaps a subtle reference to someone who "runs screaming into the night" in terror.

What is happening is the guy is dreaming of a girl he loved and lost. He is able to find her and have her again in his dreams, exactly as he remembers, but when he wakes up each day he must face reality.

"Morning comes again, awaken to the haunts that pull me screaming from your arms, baby"

The world of reality he wakes up to each day represents the "haunts" that pull him away from her and back into the real world. So, he is taken away by reality, figuratively speaking, "screaming from [her] arms".

If you had to change the lyric to match the same sentiment, what would you propose as an alternative?

Thanks again for commenting!

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[chuckduffy]

Hi Chuck. Thanks very much for reading my lyrics and commenting.

The lyric you mentioned is sort of a play on the old cliche, "he had to be dragged away kicking and screaming," and to a much lesser degree, perhaps a subtle reference to someone who "runs screaming into the night" in terror.

What is happening is the guy is dreaming of a girl he loved and lost. He is able to find her and have her again in his dreams, exactly as he remembers, but when he wakes up each day he must face reality.

"Morning comes again, awaken to the haunts that pull me screaming from your arms, baby"

The world of reality he wakes up to each day represents the "haunts" that pull him away from her and back into the real world. So, he is taken away by reality, figuratively speaking, "screaming from [her] arms".

If you had to change the lyric to match the same sentiment, what would you propose as an alternative?

Thanks again for commenting!

Cheers,
Joseph

You pose a really interesting question. The word 'screaming' struck me as odd, but I'm certainly not suggesting you change your song... I was intrigued enough by your question to spend time and think about about it for a bit from the perspective of 'what would I propose'. This is what I came up with, not really offered as an alternative - but more as another frame of reference

'I awaken to another day that drags me from your arms'. Re-inforces that he has been dreaming, that there is a cycle involved and he's being dragged, where dragged implies extreme reluctance in and of itself.

With all that said - I wouldn't go changing your song based on anything I say

 

[icystorm]

You pose a really interesting question. The word 'screaming' struck me as odd, but I'm certainly not suggesting you change your song... I was intrigued enough by your question to spend time and think about about it for a bit from the perspective of 'what would I propose'. This is what I came up with, not really offered as an alternative - but more as another frame of reference

'I awaken to another day that drags me from your arms'. Re-inforces that he has been dreaming, that there is a cycle involved and he's being dragged, where dragged implies extreme reluctance in and of itself.

With all that said - I wouldn't go changing your song based on anything I say

Thanks, Chuck. I often receive inspiration from the forum to modify lyrics, which is why I appreciate your suggestions. Sometimes I keep what I originally had, but I try to keep an open mind and revist lyrics when someone offers some constructive criticism as you did.

I like your suggestion for a replacement, but I wanted the line to convey a deep sense of alarm, which is why I prefer "...haunts that pull me screaming from your arms, baby." The guy is distraught and I want that to come through in his thoughts, so I am inclined to leave it as it is... at least for now. ;-)

It's always interesting discussing potential lyrics changes. Sometimes I have laughed and said, "Oh no, that's my favorite line in the song!" Other times I have said, "You're absolutely right. That could be better. I like your proposal and I'm changing the line." Good discussions.

Ah, the joys of abstract artistry.

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[Phrasemaker]

Joseph, I've not had my studio up and running for very long, but I have a song that's a work in progress, I'll get something posted soon. I don't consider myself much of a vocalist so I record the vocals with my own voice just to hear how the phrasing comes over and then in future I'll either try and improve my singing or collaborate ;-)

I listened to your backing track, it has a lot going on tonally which gives a richness to the overall sound with the notation intervals providing some interesting textures. I did notice a small amount of what sounds like a slightly over driven recording channel on the left side which might well just be down to the fact it's not the finished article. I'm enjoying the progress you are making, it's great to see and hear it all coming together.

all the best

Tim