More than I can chew. anyone care to digest

T

theron

New member
http://www.nowhereradio.com/theron/singles

Flawless Mile.

I wrote this tune, did as much as I could as far as vocal, gits and mixing. I know it needs bass and a big help on rhythm git(the acoustic intro is more of a click track).

I need help on the mix. I'm far too smart to think that this is a good mix but, I'm tapped out on ideas.

I invite all to fill in the gaps. I know it needs bass git, lead git/a REAL funk git (not my poser versions) and some athletic vocals.


In essence, I wrote the song for fun. I need mixing help and along the way I think a collab would be cool to finish it. I can tap into "hard resources", I.E. friends that might or might not cut a lead or sing backup but, I thought since the song was born of fun, it should remain so and I would be a fool to not try and tap into the talent on this board.

So, If the song doesn't suck from the get go, give me what you got to make it better. Mix tips and playing contributions are all welcome. ( Just don't eliminate me from the equation:)

PM me or email if ya want to chime in.

Hope this isn't an abuse of the collab vibe. Of course, the mix is first.



Peace,

Theron.
 
Hey Theron. You know, this is a pretty nice song. I like the chord progression. The melody was decent and the harmonies were nice. I loved the little baritone answer back - cool. I liked the line "reality ain't what it used to be." But it's familiar - it might have been used somewhere else.

You've been so good about reviewing other works, I'm going to do my best to offer advice.

I like how you started the chord progression on an acoustic and quickly transfered the part over to an electric. Nice sound.

I liked the little changup at 2:08, but the drumming sounded too much like a polka.

The guitar in the intro was a bit quiet. The "How!" at :08 was a little harsh, and loud when contrasted with the quiet guit.

I think the lead vocal and the rhythm guitar were competing for the same sonic space - some EQing would help. There were many words I couldn't understand. example: "Kiss my <what?>" Kiss my pain away I think. But I couldn't be sure.

There was a long middle break that needed a guitar solo.

The "oowww" at 3:12 sounded like you were coughing up something.

Funny - for some reason I didn't expect your voice to sound anything like that. :D
 
dig the hook...

Theron, I dig the hook, "walk a flawless mile." Your voice is interesting, too, a neat texture. And I could hear few if any pitch problems.
One thing...the drum pattern is too busy for the guitars. What I mean is, there's too much kick drum syncopation. With a track like this, I feel that the kick/snare should be fairly straight and simple, which makes room for guitar syncopation/funkiness. It's very rare (imo) that drums and guitars can syncopate and establish any kind of a groove. One needs to play straight so that the other has something to play against.
Cool concept and hook, run with it!

Mark
 
Hey Theron,
I too liked your vocs. Its your style, and it works for the song. I got a different take on the song style though. Im a bass player, so I kinda hear it from that standpoint. I liked the drum sounds alot, but I wouldnt mind if they were cut up even more. I kinda hear a funky walking bass line that sticks tight to a busier snare and kick. Are your drums midi'd into your recorder, or did you already record the track? Your song is still young enough to be taken a thousand different directions. I'll bet what mkg has in mind would sound great too. have fun...... G
:D
 
I listened to the lo-fi.

10MB is a bit on a modem connect.

To the song. Catchy rhythm guitar pattern, funky bluesy. You got a good voice for sure.

Bass guitar will help bigtime, as will a lead during the long break.

Agree with the simplify the kick drum comment. I hear either dropping the middle hit in the dop dop dop, or changing the beat to -

dop / tick / dop dop / tick / dop dop / tick/ dop dop / tick / dop :

With the odd hi-hat pssh-t / open close accordingly, maybe even the odd cymbal choke here and there.

Lots of possiblities for the tune as others have said, many directions could be taken.

Good start on it though. What was it encoded it anyway? I'd have liked to download 128bps mp3, but 10MB is just too big.

Cool stuff Theron. I'd take a stab at trying a bass line or lead guitar if you like.
 
cool tune Theron..

Definitely lots of possibilities.. it has a fun vibe to it. The drums didnt bother me too much.. but the build @ 2:15ish sounded a bit like you were tapping on the drumpads with your fingers. :D. bass and solos will finish this pup off right and the drums wont be as noticeable... nice big bass sound...


Yeah that was a monster file..:D

late
sam
 
theron,

Cool groove!

Good voice,mabey a little harmony on the hook?
I liked the acoustic sound,how about a break in the middle and starting with it again?

That melody break sounds really good,might sound good as part of the overall rythm.
Like the walking bass Guernica was talking about.

How does everyone do collabs,through e-mail?

Best to you,
Pete
 
Thanks to all who gave feedback!
Sound insight and advice.

TripleM,
I'll look at the vox and git eq's again. I thought the vox was pretty inteligable,,,,,maybe not (it is hard when you know all the words;) ) " The "oowww" at 3:12 sounded like you were coughing up something. " Dude, that cracked me up.:D I think I need to recut that little scream. What did you think I would sound like?

mkg,
Thanks for the listen. Glad you like the "walk a flawless mile"line. I think I know what you're saying about the drums and gits. I want the tune to have a funky feel to it. I hope that the lead git (with fills, solo and such) will help. We'll see.


Guernica,
Glad you like the vox. I certainly dig yours. I had a strong funk feel in mind as well (I just can't execute it purely enough;) )

I used drum loops to create the track (drag n drop drummer mostly). The song is in time so with enough tinkering I can lay out a new drum track that is busier than this. Drums are a weakness of mine so, I was happy to get this far. I got you're pm and would love to hear your bass. I'll need to get the drums in line first though. Drop me an email with any help and what sort of approach you wanna take on track and mix sending. Thanks for your time.


erichenryus, Thanks for listening. The kick will either get simpler or more complicated. I don't know at this point.


Emeric, Sorry about the 10mb thing. I encoded the mp3 at 320kbps or something like that. I was just testing fidelity differences and forgot to change it before I put it up on the net:O.
I will put up a more reasonable mp3 soon (maybe after I make some drum adjustments). I could use some lead git. Drop me an email if you wanna bite.

Mr Sam.
Thanks for the listen. Your right about the semi-weak drum build. I thought that with the full arrangment (bass and lead git) the drums wouldn't stand out so much on this part. Just that section took me hours to sound how it does now. D tracks are not my gig for sure!!

muzeman,

As far as harmony on the hook goes. I think I tapped my voice out on this one. If I sing any more tracks, it will be like (Oh Gaud, there's that same voice again!) I tried some falsetto stuff but, it didn't fly at all.

I think the easiest way to do collabs are by sending mp3's and adding on to them. There are better ways as far as quality and freedom go but, that is the easiest IMO. Depends on how deep you want to dig in.


Thanks again to all,

Maybe I'll have a full fledged funk song after all.

Peace,
Theron.
 
Put the mp3 on a diet.

O.K.

I changed the download size. It weighs in at just under 4 mb.

Sorry about the big one.:o





Theron.
 
Badgas,

The Golden Rule,

Chew each mouthful and stop eating when you're full:D

Glad you liked the indulgence.....

Theron.
 
theron said:
What did you think I would sound like?
Click to expand...

I'm not quite sure what I thought. But I sure didn't think a guy from Minnesota would sing with a drawl. I suppose I was expecting a Scandinavian kind of thing. I have a bunch of my dad's relatives that live there - they all have the Sweedish thing going... Lot's of "yah's" and "goot's" (meaning good).

And here you come with a Mississippi delta thing. Gotta love the web.
 
Groovy. I don't have problems with the drums this time (whew! :D ). Ok, well you could have used a teeny weeny bit of reverb on the snare, but it sounds fine now. The timing is a bit shaky at 3:00 something. The chords are nice, and although the song should sound repetitive, it somehow doesn't. I'm not sure what to add into the song. Some horns would fit in there pretty well (wink wink Lt. Bob :D )
 
TripleM,
I don't know where that drawl comes from either. I hardly admit it is there but, my Dad laughs everytime he hears me sing because of it. I've spent years in San Diego and Denver but, that doesn't explain it either. Maybe it's my quiet war against the Minnesota accent. O Yay You Betcha. :D

CrankyOne,
thanks for the comments. glad it doesn't get repetitive. glad it doesn't get repetitive;).


Thanks for the time

Theron.
 
Hey Theron,

I listened to the tune this morning and I still have the chorus stuck in my head! Nice hook on this one! The only thing I might like to hear are the vocals brought out a little more. Some of the words were a bit hard to make out, but the overall feeling was great!

I'm looking forward to seeing where this one goes once somebody else takes it and adds ...

Great job!
 
boydrj,

If it's still stuck in your head then that is a good sign! I hope to hear it filled out as well.

Thanks for the listen

Theron.
 
Theron, sounds like it's coming along nicely. The beat's more solid, but I still like the idea of simplifying the kick (as per Emeric); and walking bass (ala Guernica) would make for a nice groove.
When you add the lead guitar, I think you should use major pentatonic, which imo would be a little funkier than minor pent. Or, maybe use a mix of the two. Might give it a nice Allman Bros. feel. :D
Keep it up, you're doing a great job!

Mark
 
this is a tough one to call, because with the bass being not there, it could go anywhere. If the bass is locked in with the kick drum, the drum may OR maynot be so busy. The bass...or low end in this kind of song is SO important to laying a groove/foundation, that that needs to really be decided first, before getting into any mixing concerns, etc. The answering vocals off to the side where a little strange too...kinda unexpected and unaturally panned. So...after you get your instrumentation laid down, then I'd proceed and worry about mix items. Adding things to complete a mix seems a tad backwards to me.
The gtrs you have now are ok...but one thing that got to me was the sameness in the strumming all the way thru the song. That could be broken up better into musical parts too, I'd think. A little variety could go a long way here. I'd also think about making them less dominant when the singing is happening too. ...they kinda fight for the same space, imo.
Nice tune...get that bass down dude, a ripping lead, a couple of musical ideas to create a little interest here and there, and you're on you way to the mixdown....
 
I was just about to say "bass please..." as I came up on Mix's response. I think he put it best. Get that bass in there and figure it out from there. Very cool song idea though. When you get the bass going, you're going to want those vocals right smack in the middle and right up front. You have a cool voice, and it goes great with the music. I also gotta echo Mix (riding on your coattails here bud, sorry.... :rolleyes: ), the gits could use some more variety, but I think those ideas will come faster once the bass is down. Be sure to post the progress! (oh, and my girlfriend digs it too ;) )
 
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