Lyrics to my New Song - Sin O.l.

  • Thread starter Thread starter louisv
  • Start date Start date
L

louisv

New member
Reverse my thoughts
Outside my mind
exists no doubt
so I'm just fine

Now mistake my words
Some add a R.T.S on (us)
I predict the world
Like Nostradamus

So i spit backwards
I'll die old like kids
He's In a car (ah)
Hello my name is

Now you drown
like a nigga backwards
Down side up down
yeah fuckin backwards

any Ideas for the chorus ?
 
I think your first 2 lines are your hook.

I hear a reversed record/movie soundtrack sample going through this as well - Video everyone in reverse
 
Whatmysay said:
I think your first 2 lines are your hook.

I hear a reversed record/movie soundtrack sample going through this as well - Video everyone in reverse
Click to expand...
Haha, sounds like an automatically generated response - no offence, it's just so matter-of-factly and random at the same time.

The way I see it, the first two verses are kinda formulaic, especially in comparison with the other two which are powerful and violent in a mysterious sort of way. I'd consider dropping the first two and then building on the strength of the the bottom two - they take me someplace new while the first two feel like I've been there before (and didn't much care for the place for that matter).
 
MMensch said:
Haha, sounds like an automatically generated response - no offence, it's just so matter-of-factly and random at the same time.
Click to expand...

Dang you pesky kids - 3 years on the forum and finally you've discovered I'm a bot

I agree that there is a more familiar quality to the first 2 lines, that why they stand out as the hook, then you've got the violent mystery of the other line working in the rest of the song.

Take them by a familiar and reassuring hand as you lead them to the gallows. - now that's what I call a bot talking!
 
Whatmysay said:
I agree that there is a more familiar quality to the first 2 lines, that why they stand out as the hook, then you've got the violent mystery of the other line working in the rest of the song.
Click to expand...
Oh yeah, I see what you mean. The way I tend to approach things is skip any gradation and take the listener straight into unfamiliar territory, but try to hook them with some clever (but not clichéd, because that would take away from the mystery) wording, hoping to give their brain something to chew over/deconstruct as they listen to the song.
 
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