Looking for critique

Hi BD,
OK....two chords...A and D throughout.....

no rules to break ....but,...musically man...this needs a bit of a change here or there...

The lyrics,
Sorry man,
I am on my 5th listen and I can't make them all out...could you post them?
(BTW...your vox is cool man...you have a good voice :D )

Take it easy,
Joe
 
Hi again bd

Feel a bit sheepish commenting on others given my own newbie level, but you can always ignore me.

Yeah, definitely liked it, and your voice, and I think I got the lyrics better than Joe. Kind of agree with him musically though - perhaps another way of putting it is that the song needs more music behind / beneath it to bring it out.

Best

Garry
 
Hey guys,
Thanks a lot for the listen and the honest critique. I think it's healthy for songwriters to have their work disected from time to time.
Technically, there are three chords (Asus2), but the perception that there are only two points to the breaking of the rules as we have come to accept them. That is exactly why I posted this tune.
My question here is.....Does the melody of the song stray from the music so much that we need to add a chord or two, or are we going to add the chord because we "just cant have two chords"?
Joro...I tried to attach the lyrics but MS Word is not an acceptable file extension. PM your e-mail address and I'll get em to ya.

Thanks again,
bd
 
1. In Word highlight the text you want to copy

2. press ctrl & c the simultaneously (places highlighted text on clipboard)

3. Go to the reply box here, position the cursor where you want the text and press ctrl & v simultaneously. (copies clipboard to reply box).

See...easy as 1,2,3 :D

I still owe you a listen too :)
 
bdbdbuck said:
I'm almost afraid to ask.......How?

Ok, I'm stupid when it comes to this kind of stuff...


bd
Click to expand...

Not stupid man,
You just don't know.............

Open the Word document...
Press the CTRL button and hold....
Press the "A" button....this should highlight all the text..

let go of both........

Press and hold the "CTRL" button again....
Press the "C" button....this copies all that is highlighted to your pasteboard....

let go off both........

Go to this thread....start a post.....

Press and hold the "CTRL" button once more...
Press the "V" button.....
This will paste whatever is in your copyboard into the post...

The text might re-rag a bit....depends on what font you used to begin with...

OK....so you are now smart man.... :D
Joe
 
You guys are simply wizards!!!! Thanks, I'll use that quite often now that I realize it's this easy......only thing is, it copied about five times....had some major deleting to do. I can handle that though.

bd



It’s only April
Copyright 2003 M. Rogers

This day is damp and cold
But I am reminded
It’s only April
It’s just a little colder on this mountain

And I sometimes think about you
Think about the things
You held so dearly
It’s been so many days that I’ve stopped countin’

(chorus)
So many days without you
Sad your grandson never really knew you
And he turns eight tomorrow
And it’s only April

Well I ran across a picture
That made me sad, A portrait I took
Of you and Dad
Those were the days of separation

Now I realize, that it’s too late to thank you
For raising my kids
Oh, how I miss you
You took control of my desperation

(chorus)
(chorus)

And it’s only April
And it’s only April
And it’s only April
 
Damn it BD!!!!

How the hell am I supposed to critique these lyrics man............


They are way too personal.............

















[SIZE=1/2]joro shuffles off to the corner of his studio.....wiping a tear from his eye as he sighs heavily.........Damn that BD....[/SIZE]
 
Thanks Joro,
I guess you could judge the metre, or the lack of rhyme, or something like that. Lyrically, I think most songs are personal to an extent. Unless the song is co-written....I dunno. That's another thread altogether.


bd
 
The song needs some sort of dynamicism to it. If you want to stick with the two (three) chord structure than you should at least modulate the intensity. An arc would be nice (soft, loud, louder, soft). Otherwise I'd throw in a brief chord or key change, but thats just me.
 
"Looking for critique "


You're lazy, drink too much, you're not getting any younger, you need a haircut, your car is dirty and you snore (or so I've heard).
























Oh, critique on the SONG!!!!











Never mind.



Nice song.
 
Bob,
AHA!....you HAVE been talking to my wife! Thanks for the listen.

Abyyss, thanks for listening.

Ashulman, I'll work on that, thanks for the spin.


bd
 
Bd,

You now what ...words that come from the hart are always the best. And I have to say they are good words. I'll have a listen to your music and give you my newb best critique ... for what that's worth.

OSR
 
Thanks OsR, I'll tell you what it's worth......I value your opinion as much as anyone else on this board, newB or not!


bd
 
I really liked the guitar, and I think the song as a whole sounds great! Some songs (not many) shouldn't be complicated with to many cord changes, and I think this is one of them. It's just a good feeling song.

There are a few parts in the vocals that need some smoothing out, but I'm sure after singing it 500 times (just because this is how long it takes me) it will morph a little.

Oh yes, by the way I really like the name of the song.

OsN
 
Thanks for the listen, and though you may be right about the wear and tear on the vocal chords, and I think I re-did this one more than most just because it was difficult for me to make it all the way through without getting choked up.......but my vocals generally suck anyway! I do appreciate your comments.

bd
 
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