Lobotomy (get on the danca floor..)

  • Thread starter Thread starter queepy
  • Start date Start date
queepy

queepy

aka Variaxman
Here is a thing I'm working on...been in a recording slump latley, so I decided to try something really cheesy 80's sounding...I recorded the bass guitar with a simple drum loop, then recorded my guitar parts and xtra percussion loops from there....
Here is a 1st mix...I'm sure the "vocals" are buried, my ears are kinda fried right now so just looking for some early feedback....

http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6528625&q=hi
And The lyrics:
Lobotomy(get on the danca floor….)
“The enormity of your deformity
Is due to your lack of conformity”
Whispered the well cowed man aloud

Well I took this ambiguously
And inquired about a lobotomy
To become one of the in-crowd

Just then a man dressed in paisley
With his Wife he calls Daisy
Said I can get you in the back door

But there are 3 simple things
You must have to fit in
So listen, as I give you the score

Appearances are essentially
The key to harmoniously
Being accepted as good

And titles are certainly
A clue to a healthy
Status that’s understood

Wealth he said lastly
Can make up for a ghastly
Shortcoming in the previous 2!

So I took his advice willingly
Although I felt chillingly
About the prospect of changing my face

But with surgery preformed carefully
And plastic applied geometrically
It all began to fall in place

I took my job so seriously
That my rivals dissapered mysteriously
And I acquired titles at an unbelievable pace

Now my bank account grows rapidly
And I’ve become unabashedly
To flaunt my new found wealth

Now You may find this reality
To be filled with the finality
Of all intelligent thought

But the new herd mentality
Helps with the banality
Of all the words that spew from your mouth

It’s a price I’ll pay gladly
To become one of the trendy
And assume my rightful place
On the dance floor
 
Vocals sound fine. Mix sounds fine. This is so cool. You hit the 80's dance/new wave thing on the head. I could actually almost hear Frank Zappa in the guitar work. Nice tune
 
BushmasterM4 said:
Vocals sound fine. Mix sounds fine. This is so cool. You hit the 80's dance/new wave thing on the head. I could actually almost hear Frank Zappa in the guitar work. Nice tune
Click to expand...

Thanks man, big fan of Zappa's satirical style...and guitar playing as well...thanks for the listen!!
 
I like it. The first thing that came to mind was a rather humorous little ditty, "Spiders and Snakes" by Jim Stafford.
 
Cool - all nicely constructed.
The vox are almost perfect - might need some de essing but that's all.
Nicely droll lyric, delivered drollly (um, sorry about that).
The only thing that I'd suggest is a few guitar licks here & there quoting melodies from ubiquitous 80's dance dross.
You are out of the slump as a result!
 
It's funny that you described this as "cheesy." It may have been a send up of the 80's, but it was better than cheesy. I think it sounds great. The guitar break starting @ 1:21 is great!

I'd say you killed the slump...
 
Richard King :I like it. The first thing that came to mind was a rather humorous little ditty, "Spiders and Snakes" by Jim Stafford.
Click to expand...

Thanks, not familiar with Jim Stafford... will wiki him to check it out....thanks for listening!

rayc: Cool - all nicely constructed.
The vox are almost perfect - might need some de essing but that's all.
Nicely droll lyric, delivered drollly (um, sorry about that).
The only thing that I'd suggest is a few guitar licks here & there quoting melodies from ubiquitous 80's dance dross.
You are out of the slump as a result!
Click to expand...

Hey Ray, agree about the de-essing, I swear it sounds like I have some kinda weird lisp thing going on I never knew I had :p...
Droll is definitely what I was going for...I always dug the dead pan Zappa spoken delivery type thing ,like "Montana"....wish I could get like a Boris Karloff type thing but my voice is to lame for that, maybe a bit of pitch shifting might be cool? I am working on adding some guitar wanks & fills through out to add some flavor...maybe quote from songs like "Safety Dance" , "One Night In Bangkok", and on another forum, the Greg L suggested Ramones "Lobotomy"......
Thanks for the good word, I'm starting to feel inspired again...

WhiteStrat It's funny that you described this as "cheesy." It may have been a send up of the 80's, but it was better than cheesy. I think it sounds great. The guitar break starting @ 1:21 is great!
I'd say you killed the slump...
Click to expand...

Thanks man! I used a auto-wah effect on that....all guitar tracks are done with my Variax using a Tele model for the rhythms/ wah rhythm , and a es335 for the leads...glad ya dug it!
 
Way to go Queepyaxe, man. This is very well recorded...the guitars in particular were played and captured really nicely.

I like the lyrics and the spoken word style but the cadence throws me off from time to time...did you ever try it with less emphasis on making it fit quite so rythmically? It might be cool if that was less forced and you just kind of laid it all out there more conversationally...maybe the fact that it ryhmes requires this sort of pacing though...I dunno, it is really pretty damn cool as is.

Have you ever heard the tune seen and not seen by the talking heads from remain in light?...this reminds me of that thematically...david byrne taliking about some dude changing his appearance to fit some ideal over time by sheer force of will...etc, etc.
 
heatmiser said:
Way to go Queepyaxe, man. This is very well recorded...the guitars in particular were played and captured really nicely.

I like the lyrics and the spoken word style but the cadence throws me off from time to time...did you ever try it with less emphasis on making it fit quite so rythmically? It might be cool if that was less forced and you just kind of laid it all out there more conversationally...maybe the fact that it ryhmes requires this sort of pacing though...I dunno, it is really pretty damn cool as is.

Have you ever heard the tune seen and not seen by the talking heads from remain in light?...this reminds me of that thematically...david byrne taliking about some dude changing his appearance to fit some ideal over time by sheer force of will...etc, etc.
Click to expand...

I think that is a great idea about the cadence /delivery of the lyrics...it does seem to be a bit forced and probably adds to the repetitious vibe of the tune, I am going to try it again with a more laid back approach...
Yeah, I love Remain In Light , and David Byrne/Talking Heads are big fav's of mine! Just watched "Stop Making Sense" dvd over the weekend...

I did listen to my new mix in the car and on different monitors and have to say I screwed the "vocal" clarity up by adding the 2nd track with the pitch shift thing on it...will be dumping it when I get home...
 
Nice one queepy... cool tune... sweet sounds....and very thought provoking lyrics. I saw Frank Zappa at the Royal Oak Music Theater. He had assembled one of the most awesome bands I've ever saw. And he smoked. alot.

I like the second mix better... I thinkitsadefiniteimprovement. I think you could put even more perc on though, especially toward the end when the harmony guit starts... seems to lose some high end energy right there....

Peace!

~Shawn
 
eyema_believer said:
Nice one queepy... cool tune... sweet sounds....and very thought provoking lyrics. I saw Frank Zappa at the Royal Oak Music Theater. He had assembled one of the most awesome bands I've ever saw. And he smoked. alot.

I like the second mix better... I thinkitsadefiniteimprovement. I think you could put even more perc on though, especially toward the end when the harmony guit starts... seems to lose some high end energy right there....

Peace!

~Shawn
Click to expand...

Hey Shawn, thanks for the feedback, I took your advice and added some additional percussion to the "outro"...also tried to add a "lobotomy" chorus thing at the end per a suggestion from GregL.....also got rid of the xtra vocal effected track....
here is a link for those that wanna check it:
http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6528625&q=hi

Your pretty lucky to have caught Zappa...especially in a intimate place like Royal Oak Music Theater....he is one artist I regret never catching live......
 
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