Trick or Mics! (holds out bag already containing several microphones nobody wants anymore. What scary mic will you put in that you wish you'd never bought?).
audix ADX-90, clip on mini condesnors. sucked balls. returned.
3 fake sm57's- some guy ripped me off on ebay, but i got my money back. he didnt even make me return them. so i got 3 nice bags out of it, and three large metal objects useful for beating people.