Hello Ollie
Not bad at all from a composition perspective.
Would have to wait until the engineers commented on it, but I would like to hear the lead and bass brought forward and given a bit more presence as they sound a bit dead in some areas.
Good effort. I like it.
I know what I am about to show is not really your genre, but listen to how the track is built and learn from it.
It's a busy song like yours....but listen to how much life and "anger" is allowed to build and then run riot albeit in a controlled fashion.
Foo Fighters - The Pretender - YouTube