Jokes!!

elbandito

potential lunch winner
Have you got some funny jokes to share? Drop them here!

Two women are walking through the woods when suddenly they hear a voice say, "Ladies! Ladies!" They look around but don't see anyone. Then they hear it again. "Ladies! Ladies! Down here!" They look down and see a small pond with a frog sitting on a lily pad.
"Is that you?" one of the ladies asks the frog.
"Yes," is the frog's reply.
The two women are in shock. "How can you talk to us?" They ask. "You're a frog."
"I got turned into a frog by a wicked witch," explains the frog. "I'm really a fantastic jazz saxophone player."
"Really?" say the women. "Is that true?"
"Yes," answers the frog, "and all it will take is one kiss from either of you, and I will immediately change back into a fantastic jazz saxophone player."
Right away, one of the women gets down on her knees, reaches across the pond to the lily pad and gently picks up the frog. She stands up and quickly puts the frog in her pocket and starts to walk away.
Her startled friend says, "Hey, wait a minute! Where are you going? He said that if you kiss him, he'll turn into a fantastic jazz saxophone player!"
"What are you, crazy?" says the other woman. "I can make a lot more money with a talking frog than I can with a fantastic jazz saxophone player."


Kenny G walks into an elevator and says, "Man, this place is HAPPENING!"

What's the last thing a drummer says before he's thrown out of the band?
"Let's play one of MY songs"


Have you heard the one about the guitar player that plays in tune?
...........neither have I.
 

moresound

Loud Sun Studios
A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much a pint would cost. The bartender replied: For you, no charge!


A Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic church
The priest says: We don't want your type around here
The Higgs particle then says: But without me you can't have mass!

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar.... and doesn't!
 

moresound

Loud Sun Studios
Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
 

elbandito

potential lunch winner
Moresound, you're a science NERD! I had no idea. I've got a bunch of nerdy jokes to share too... here's one that I really like:

How do you throw a party in Outer Space?

You PLANET! :D
 
Moresound will like this one.



Pascal, Newton and Einstein are playing hide and seek.
Einstein stays to count while Pascal snd Newton go hide.
Pascal goes and finds a hiding spot, while Newton draws a square around himself.
Einstein turns around and sees Newton and says "I found you!"
Newton replies "Nope. What you see is one newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"
:D
 

moresound

Loud Sun Studios
Two atoms are walking down the street when they run into each other. The first says to the second, "Are you all right? You
don't look so good."

"I'm not feeling very well," says the second atom. "I lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the first.

"Yeah, I'm positive!"
 

moresound

Loud Sun Studios
Moresound, you're a science NERD! I had no idea.

You are a Nerd If...

If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires

If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal

If you have more toys than your kids

If you need a checklist to turn on the TV

If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name

If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work

If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight

If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it

If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

If you have memorized the program scheduled for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
 
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