badgas
New member
I'm working on a song.
I have the music and the lyrics, but I have one problem that I've been working on for a few weeks and can't seem to find a usable solution.
I'm open to any suggestions.
The problem is the way the first and second verses rhyme.
I'd like them to match rhymematiclly (is that a word?) without changing the meter but still say what their saying. Or can it pass the critque test later down the road when it's recorded, as is?
Any help will be greatly appreciated. When I sell it, I'll cut ya in on the earnings and you'll be in the credit list.
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Eyes Full Of Tears
(vs. 1)
I see your eyes are full of tears.
I reach out to you,
But you turn and walk away as if to say,
We’re through,
And it really doesn’t matter what you do.
(vs. 2)
The bedroom door swings slowly closed,
And I hear it lock,
While the sound of your crying fills the room,
But you won’t talk,
And I know that it’s ended all too soon.
(bridge)
Eyes full of tears are sad to see.
Eyes full of tears are haunting me.
---------
Thanks in advance.
I have the music and the lyrics, but I have one problem that I've been working on for a few weeks and can't seem to find a usable solution.
I'm open to any suggestions.
The problem is the way the first and second verses rhyme.
I'd like them to match rhymematiclly (is that a word?) without changing the meter but still say what their saying. Or can it pass the critque test later down the road when it's recorded, as is?
Any help will be greatly appreciated. When I sell it, I'll cut ya in on the earnings and you'll be in the credit list.
=======
Eyes Full Of Tears
(vs. 1)
I see your eyes are full of tears.
I reach out to you,
But you turn and walk away as if to say,
We’re through,
And it really doesn’t matter what you do.
(vs. 2)
The bedroom door swings slowly closed,
And I hear it lock,
While the sound of your crying fills the room,
But you won’t talk,
And I know that it’s ended all too soon.
(bridge)
Eyes full of tears are sad to see.
Eyes full of tears are haunting me.
---------
Thanks in advance.