I have a new one, but....

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RAMI

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I've never posted or let anyone hear anything I've done without re-working it at least a bit. I just did this today and I don't think it's near being finished. Don't know about the melody, the singing, the lyrics, etc...I took all the dampening off my snare just to see if it works...So, again, let me know if I'm heading in the right direction with this, I trust many of your's opinion. Thanx

Children Left Behind
 
I really like this RAMI. Very cool right at the start. I like the way the guitars sound, and the melody. Vocals are great, as usual. To me, this is one of the better drum sounds you've used, and you know they have all sounded great in the past. This sound is very full. Bass sits in there really well also. I can pick it out, no trouble. How many guitars do you have going? It sounds like one rythum, and then a second on the lead/melody lines. 2 in all? I'd personally like to hear a bit larger guitar sound on this tune, but that's just me. Nothing wrong with what you have, but with the slightly heavier drums, maybe more beef in the guitars would be cool. Personal preference thingy here.
Cool tune. I really enjoyed it. It will be on my I-POD tomorrow.... :D
Ed
 
The no dampening thing works well with the loose high hat and the looseygoosey groove... That's a keeper. Bass part needs a little more imagination, but I'm sure the final draft will show your real stuff.

Even unproduced, you do freakishly well. You can tell a lot about a player by how their rough cuts sound.

Cool tune. Catchy... runs somewere between power pop and "complaint rock" Wish I could solo on guitar.. (or anything else, for that matter) Powerful social commentary, man. Especially as the daddy of a young one, I felt it...
 
Sounds like another #1 at soundchick.

Love the tone of the guitars.


The only thing that I did not like is last line in the first chorus the "All the tears of the mothers". How the vocals sounded.

Add some violin and you have another hit.
 
Agree with Timbo on the vox, but I suspect it's not the final take.
 
I`m listening as I write, and you`ve done it again, It sounds great and real.

Very nice vox, cool drums I`m usually very hung up in damped drums, but you really pulled it of, it sound nice loose and live.

The melody is also very catchy, allthough I would love to hear some additional Leslie Guitar on this :) or maybe not :o thats just me.

so congrats on a great tune Rami.

and by the way your soundclick page rules :cool:
 
Good ears guys, all of you...I didn't put alot of thought into the bass part for now, just played the roots and pretty much followed the guitar.

Dog, yes it's just 2 guitars, like almost all my tunes.

When you guys say you don't like the "tears" after the first chorus, do you mean, the actual note I'm singing or the way it's sung. Again great ears to pick that one out because I'm singing a "C" on a "D" chord. I wasn't sure if the 7th worked, and I guess there's my answer, it probably just sounds flat or wrong.

Thanx guys, it's a work in progress and you gave me some direction...Now to stop being lazy and write a fucking decent bass part!
 
No, for me it was a diction thing, and a dryness to the vox track that amplifies the nibbling little things... Can't wait to hear the finished deal.
 
RAMI said:
When you guys say you don't like the "tears" after the first chorus,
Click to expand...

Not sure what I don’t like about it. It just doesn’t sound the same.
I like how it sounds in the last line of the song.
I will have to check it out in the basement on the monitors and not the cheep computer speakers.
 
No, it's cool. I know what it is, you're absolutely right. If it isn't the note itself, then it's softer way I sang it...sort of like a loud whisper. So it probably just sounds weaker than the vox in the rest of the tune. I know how to fix it, I should have just sung it normal instead of trying to soften it. Thanx man.
 
Yeah I really dig this. I love the more raw feel to it, in both the guitars and drums. I think it sounds good with the theme of the song too. Like a bit more emotional & raw feel.

And again, props on the lyrics, very good on a serious subject.

Don't have many suggestions at the moment, but it might sound cool if you slowly build up the guitars/drums in volume/intensity in that 3:24 to 4:00 part, and then drop off with the chord and last lyrics. Might be a real powerful ending, but just an idea ;)

Yeah, great song. Those leads parts are killer-catchy :D
 
Thanx for the direction, guys.

Toki, your comments on my other tune are what made me really take the time and experiment with mic placement. I'm using the same settings for my guitar that I used before, but changed the mic placement until it sounded more full, so I have you to thank for making me work on that.

Snakedog, thanx. Your suggestion on the build up is perfect. I actually tried to do that with the guitars by building up the voicings of the chord, but I'll probably ride the faders too to get that build that you're talking about.

thanx.
 
Nice I can finally listen to streaming on Soundclick thanks to their new stream player. :)
Guitars caught my attention first as being pretty nice. Kinda old school sound which works well. Reminds me of the Pixies guitar tone.
Drums as usual, text book.
Bass sounds fatter than your usual mixes, maybe a bit louder or something.
Vocals are spot on with your signature sound also.
Good shit dude. :)
Eck
 
Good song Rami. Great drums as usual.

The D major to D minor chord change in the gtr part that happens at the end (and elswhere) sounds to me like it would work better with a less distorted sound. Maybe something in the overtones of the distortion that's messing with the minor 3rd to my ear I guess. Perhaps a cleaner but mellow guitar coming in a few bars before the change, staying low in the mix then stepping forward at that spot with a hand-off between the distorted gutiar on the D major and the mellow gtr on the D minor. Heh-heh, it'd probably be a pain in the butt to make work. :D But easy to suggest. :D :D

Tim
 
Thanx Eck. Still have work to do on this. I have to maybe come up with a better bass part, but I don't want it to be too busy, so I'm still debating that. The vocals are too dry (even by my standards) and too loud. Still some work to do. Thanx.
 
Congrats man! Great tune! And this time, you don't even sound like Wierd Al :)
 
RAMI, what FX's do you use on your vocals.
I like the way they sound.
 
Tim...I hear it the same way you do. I thought it it was just barely working, but for sure my first impression was that the minor D should be mellower. I tried playing only 2 notes of the chord, but it didn't work at all. I'm going to try punching in or fading in a mellower guitar for that chord. Thanx, we're on the same wavelength on that one.


WX, I don't sound like Weird Al??? Well, then I just have to go back and re-do the vocals. I don't want to lose that signature sound. :)

Timboz, there's a short delay of 88ms from Micro-verb and a plate reverb from another micro-verb. That's about it. I actually thought this vocal track might be too dry for the type of song.
 
RAMI said:
Snakedog, thanx. Your suggestion on the build up is perfect. I actually tried to do that with the guitars by building up the voicings of the chord, but I'll probably ride the faders too to get that build that you're talking about.

thanx.
Click to expand...

Just a thought, maybe you could try adding some lead guitar later on in that part and see if it sounds good.
 
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