I Caused a Wreck

  • Thread starter Thread starter icystorm
  • Start date Start date
Joseph,

Good work there. My only thing would be the "Fleeting Fawn Fading Fast" bit. Tough to sing, and verbally a bit 'busy', but other than that..:)

C.
 
Maybe you could call her a 'filly'...some women get a bit snooty when they're referred to as a 'fawn'
 
Cosmic said:
Joseph,

Good work there. My only thing would be the "Fleeting Fawn Fading Fast" bit. Tough to sing, and verbally a bit 'busy', but other than that..:)

C.
Click to expand...

Thanks much, my friend.

In the line, "A fleeting fawn who's fading fast" the word "who's" is stretched out slightly so it sounds okay (um, I think). :) The song is 135 bmp, so I'm sort of spitting the words out anyway. I hope to finish the demo with vox soon so you guys can take me to task. ;)

Here's the latest incarnation of the lyrics, ever evolving:

Verse 1
Sometimes in life you blink and see
A vision from eternity
I double-take a rarity
I chase to see this girl
I postulate a safer way
Resist the dangers of high speed
Temptation's law, I fight for pace
I race to see this girl

Chorus
Infatuation in the glass
She's in my lane, I watch and see
A fleeting fawn who's fading fast
Chaos control, I rush to pass
Does she know the scene she'll cause
How far I'll go to meet my match
Premeditate the move I'll make
I hit the brakes, I caused a wreck
and she's mine

Verse 2
A clever few would ever spy
This highway harlot eye-to-eye
I rush to seek and answer why
In haste to see this girl
I formulate a safer speed
To catch her fairer sex appeal
Surrender to my primal need
I brace to crash this girl

Bridge
(no change from before)

Cheers,
Joseph
 
gecko zzed said:
hah . . . 'criminal' is an excellent addition.

I'd like to try out:

"My motives only slightly criminal"

but I don't know how it would fit.
Click to expand...


"My motives barely criminal" ?



This song reminds me of a time my roommate told me that the traffic was horrible coming home, the cause of the traffic jam turned out to be a cute blonde trying to change a tire. lol
 
Excellent idea for a song. I think the chorus would be a good first verse. Maybe the bridge could be the second verse. The chorus I am envisioning is something similar but more "I've got to meet you" or something....
I'm just throwing out ideas here... Looking forward to the completed song. Don;t work too hard!
 
completed demo with vox

ido1957 said:
Excellent idea for a song. I think the chorus would be a good first verse. Maybe the bridge could be the second verse. The chorus I am envisioning is something similar but more "I've got to meet you" or something....
I'm just throwing out ideas here... Looking forward to the completed song. Don;t work too hard!
Click to expand...

Thanks for looking at the lyrics and offering advice, Ido. Good ideas! For now, I decided to ditch the bridge. I may rework it later, perhaps as you recommended, if I find time to work on it more.

Here's a hastily completed demo with vox, sans the bridge.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=787980&songID=7588709

http://www.box.net/shared/1nleog7qch

I am toying with the idea of changing the first line in the chorus from "Infatuation in the glass" to "Infatuation at a glance". It almost sounds like I'm singing "glance" anyway. Heh.

Verse 1
Sometimes in life you blink and see
A vision from eternity
I double-take a rarity
I chase to see this girl
I postulate a safer way
Resist the dangers of high speed
Temptation's law, I fight for pace
I race to see this girl

Chorus
Infatuation in the glass
She's in my lane, I watch and see
A fleeting fawn who's fading fast
Chaos control, I rush to pass
Does she know the scene she'll cause
How far I'll go to meet my match
Premeditate the move I'll make
I hit the brakes
I caused a wreck with this girl

Verse 2
A clever few could ever find
This highway harlot eye-to-eye
I rush to seek and answer why
In haste to see this girl
I formulate a safer speed
To catch her fairer-sex appeal
Surrender to my primal need
I brace to crash this girl

Cheers,
Joseph
 
Last edited:
I would leave the first line of the chorus as-is, Joseph.

Can't wait to hear the finished product.

-Mike
 
Strat1958 said:
I would leave the first line of the chorus as-is, Joseph.

Can't wait to hear the finished product.

-Mike
Click to expand...

Thanks, Mike! My mix blew bad on the first, crude demo. The harmonics of the backing track were way off and dull in tone (as most could tell). I'll fix it one of these days.

I have been super busy at work lately. I noticed you posted a new song and I will listen to it soon, my friend.

As our friend Dave says, it's just "crap ass busy" right now! :D

Cheers,
Joseph
 
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