How to tell an old friend that they suck...

[gibsonguy09]

Record his stuff and ask him ti listen to it compared to yours. See if he thinks it is out of tune when he listens to it.

 

[Toonsmith]

That's why I play solo now.

 

[Zaphod B]

You know he has spent a ton of money on his recording set up. And another ton on local tech's to set up his guitar.. I know the tech's do a good job. I just wish he would quit twisting knobs.. LOL

Just my humble opinion....but if he needs a guitar tech on an ongoing basis to keep his guitar tuned and adjusted, he's hopeless - particularly if he can't even tune the thing himself. Or maybe it's just a sh!tty guitar that won't set up, and he can't tell the difference.

I don't know what I'd do in your situation, but I either like to be up-front about this kind of thing, or just hold my tongue.

If you've seen any of the episodes of American Idol showing the early auditions, you'll know that there are tone-deaf people in this world who are insulted and in immediate denial when they are told that they can't sing.

I guess it depends on your relationship with your friend - but you're partly to blame, you know - you've been enabling him!

 

[brett304]

Timings and Intonation

I'll second the idea that maybe intonation is having an effect here... Also there is a possibility that his timings may just be light years ahead of you... I had a friend who only plays straight downbeat metal and I like playing with triplets and accentuating certain phrases in one direction or another... This made it nearly impossible to play with him and I almost thought it was me untill I started recording <just kidding, but almost a possibility>...

Also about the tone issue, I'm going to mention again that its a possibilty that the tones he has in his head are far superior to anything we've ever heard <as human beings>... Could you imagine a virtuoso guitarist who hasn't quite figured out the mechanics of playing his instrument yet...

Also in the productive advice section, I wanted to suggust that maybe you try laying down a Rhythm track (something simple like an acoustic track) and letting him play the lead tracks... If he's missing something, play one yourself and then allow him to record another one... Maybe it'll be the kind of jumpstart he needs...

Also wanted to mention that sometimes people in todays type of society have short attention spans, maybe he never had the attention to work on timing and correct intonation... Maybe he's still working out the rhythms in his head... How's he do on the drums??? This would give an indication to the rest of us as to how to point him/you in the right direction!!! Good luck...

 

[fateswebb]

My opinion is, get him a tuner for his guitar, you know the ones that tell you the notes and you tune by eye not ear.

also you can mention his imperfections but you should.

1) under-express his failures so they sound miniscule..
2) always go wow that is really good, only thing is need to work on.... a little in this one spot.
3) never lay all of the failures down at once, always spread them out. over hours or days..

there is a program called eartest, it is free on the internet.
when he comes over show him this program, and tell him your determined to use it to obtain a perfect ear, and you believe the few times you have used it has helped you. and then ask him him if he would like a copy as well.


http://www.brenthugh.com/eartest/

FatesWebb

 

[gullfo]

another option - jointly listen to his material and ask him to critic it. maybe guide him by showing him things you have done where you were off (leading by example) and then let him detect it in his own work. This will allow you to remain friends and teach him a valuable skill - critical listening. soon you'll both be finding all kinds of flaws together and fixing them... ;-)

 

[Rstiltskin]

as a friend.......

How do you tell an old friend that they suck and there is no hope for them?

I have a friend that I have had for years. We met in college and had the guitar thing in common.. Well I moved more into recording over the years and he moved more into playing out..

Anyway, recently he decided to get into recording and he is getting surprisingly good sound from his recording gear BUT!!!!

Everything he does is so damn out of tune and out of time. His guitars and vocals are terrible! He can't keep time or sing at all but insists on laying down the vocals. I know he is doing it for fun but he always asks me how it he is doing and I can never tell him the truth..

He is so excited about his gear and is constantly asking what he can do to make this or that better or how to do this or that. But I can't bear to tell him that he is giving people seizures with his out of tuneness.

He claims to use a tuner during every take and that makes it worse because now I wouldn’t even know how to fix his problem.

Should I just forget about it and just give pointers on his equipment and recording?
Should I lay it all out and tell him what is really wrong..

here is what I would do:

If there is ANYTHING he is doing well, Praise it.

say 'dude, I think you need to take your playing to the next level, I know this great teacher that can help you MASTER your studio licks (if you don't know one find one, if he's got the money for a recording system, he can pay a teacher). Drag him to the first session, or go yourself and let him come along. offer to PAY if necessary.

If the teacher points out some deficits, you can say 'play that and let me see if I can hear what teach is talking about' . THEN you can help him.

if he won't go, then he really does not want to improve, and he is just asking you to tell him he is doing fine. tell him 'you are doing fine'


remember, beer makes almost anything sound better.

be a helper, let someone else be critical. the truth DOES hurt!

 

[dragonworks]

My friend, who I had been "teaching" for around twenty years asked me what I really thought. I asked do you really want to know and he said yes. So I told him, sell all your electrics and amps, keep the acoustic and bang out some chords, sing some songs, and leave it at that. We don't speak much anymore and I no longer "teach" him.