How Do I Do This?

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metalhead28

metalhead28

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How can I get the best drum kit recording with no mics? I have no mics.
My budget is about 10 dollars, what can I do? I really want my drums to sound like John Bonham.

Please help!!!!!

Also, I heard that I need a mixer. Can I use my mom's cordless mixer and will it plug straight into my computer?

Oh yeah, do I need to compress the mixer with something? I heard that too. I have a trash compactor, will that work?

By the way, I want to start recording bands in my kitchen. How much should I charge?
 
metalhead28 said:
How can I get the best drum kit recording with no mics? I have no mics.
My budget is about 10 dollars, what can I do? I really want my drums to sound like John Bonham.

Please help!!!!!

Also, I heard that I need a mixer. Can I use my mom's cordless mixer and will it plug straight into my computer?

Oh yeah, do I need to compress the mixer with something? I heard that too. I have a trash compactor, will that work?

By the way, I want to start recording bands in my kitchen. How much should I charge?
Click to expand...

Answers are...
buy a mic. I hear there are some good $10,000 ones that work well in kitchens. They don't need preamps, just cookies. Jon Bonham will show up if you have one...and he likes to lick the beaters off the cordless mixers. No compression though.....unless it's creamy, and milky. And make sure you charge at least $1.95 per band....you got to pay for that equipment somehow.......

Hope this has been helpful. I just woke up. :D
 
Dogman said:
Answers are...
buy a mic. I hear there are some good $10,000 ones that work well in kitchens. They don't need preamps, just cookies. Jon Bonham will show up if you have one...and he likes to lick the beaters off the cordless mixers. No compression though.....unless it's creamy, and milky. And make sure you charge at least $1.95 per band....you got to pay for that equipment somehow.......

Hope this has been helpful. I just woke up. :D
Click to expand...

I can't afford 10,000 bucks for a decent mic. Can I download a free plug-in version?

Are you saying I should pour milk into my compactor before I compress my mixer?
 
I know a guy called Mike, he'll help you out. So now you've got a Mike. The cordless mixer won't do, you need the human touch. Get your mother to do the mixing. As for sounding like John Bonham, I'm not sure how to make the sounds of being dead, try lying still, that might be a start. You can get a good air compressor from an industrial supplier, some even hire them out for a small fee. Recording in the kitchen is a good idea, as it will be more conveniant for your mother when she mixes. You should probably charge about $150 an hour, more if they want to kiss you on the mouth, or if they want certain types of role play.














I love these threads. Sometimes people can get a bit serious around here
:D :D
 
Sorry,
I think I may have misread you thread M'head.
Are you talking about Micks or mics? Ireland is full of Micks & they sent a whole heap to every nation on earth some time ago to help with these sorts of problems. The Mick's master is commonly called the Kapholyk Choych.
The best mixer for the job isn't cordless, it's quite heavy & is called, downhere at least, a Mixmaster. If your mums keeps calling her cordless thing that you might want to check your credit card account for smething listed as marital aids. There there are other versions - some prestigious - like the Kenwood Chef & others that really mess up the input - typically called a blender.
You don't need any of this stuff to get that Led Zep sound for drums - just wait until Christmas & then you'll find it easy to get your hands on Bonnbonns - which are really cracker.
I think you've confused trash compactor with a more modern piece of equipment - the ripper (not to be confused with a British Peer & a syphlitic disposition) - this'll take anything good or bad & convert it into virtual rubbish in a few seconds. Of course there's a more organic version that is big with analogue & valve/tube lovers it's called a rectumizer. It'll take whatever input you like, put it through a hard limiter and then, depending on whether you've encountered the latest virus, will deliver you something stinking hot n hard or something very olfactory but ambient & fluid.
For the $10 you should be able, under the new Australian Guest worker & INdustrial Relations POlicy, to import 3 well trained Southern Chinese workers to do the task for you with only the promise of a visa extension as collateral. No need for the English language as this makes the explanation of workplace safety & human rights too complicated in that they might understand them.
Cheers
rayC
From Australia the land where blenders work anticlockwise.
 
Mx Mx,
I knew there was a reason?
Did they ever do fruit shakes down your way? I bought one a Circular Quay in 1968 - an ORANGE milkshake using REAL oranges. It was ..interesting but I didn't buy another one until real smmothies worked out a nice way of combining citrus & cowjuice.
Mind you the blenders were different then, very musical, very at the hop, very Rock N Roll - I seem to recall it's something Danelectro will bring out as a pedal -
"the Milk Shake Maker"
That's the missing piece of equipment Metalhead needs.
Oh, Oh, Oh, & the only way to get it really hot & crusty (talking Slipknot back to Pearl Jam) would be to put a jaffle iron into the signal chain.
Cheers
rayC
 
Mx Mx,
I knew there was a reason?
Did they ever do fruit shakes down your way? I bought one a Circular Quay in 1968 - an ORANGE milkshake using REAL oranges. It was ..interesting but I didn't buy another one until real smmothies worked out a nice way of combining citrus & cowjuice.
Mind you the blenders were different then, very musical, very at the hop, very Rock N Roll - I seem to recall it's something Danelectro will bring out as a pedal -
"the Milk Shake Maker"
That's the missing piece of equipment Metalhead needs.
Oh, Oh, Oh, & the only way to get it really hot & crusty (talking Slipknot back to Pearl Jam) would be to put a jaffle iron into the signal chain.
Cheers
rayC
 
metalhead28 said:
I can't afford 10,000 bucks for a decent mic. Can I download a free plug-in version?

Are you saying I should pour milk into my compactor before I compress my mixer?
Click to expand...
I'll sell you a cracked version for $2.50. It sounds really good. And let the milk curdle BEFORE you compress it. It doesn't curdle right if you wait till later.

Oh, and donuts help. I like chocolate bars.
 
Dogman,
Compressed curd - cheeese louise, are you trying to help coz you doughnut seem to recall that the chocolate bar went missing with Marian FaithFULL.
 
rayc said:
Dogman,
Compressed curd - cheeese louise, are you trying to help coz you doughnut seem to recall that the chocolate bar went missing with Marian FaithFULL.
Click to expand...
The chocolate bar is missing? Damn...... :mad:
 
It could be reconstituted if only Marianne would take up Jazz or Bebop & scat a few lines.
(Sorry that was gross)
& on that low note (Brown Note?) and at 11.53pm I'm OFF.
 
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brandrum said:
do a search dumbass....this has been asked millions of times.
Click to expand...

Really?

If that's true, I am really losing hope for people around here....

Jeez, why you gotta call me a dumbass? sniff...sniff......
 
metalhead28 said:
Really?

If that's true, I am really losing hope for people around here....

Jeez, why you gotta call me a dumbass? sniff...sniff......
Click to expand...
It's OK.... some people just can't see the humor in all of this.


On the other hand, I did pick up some handy tips on using chordless mixers by reading this thread...
 
Rokket said:
It's OK.... some people just can't see the humor in all of this.


On the other hand, I did pick up some handy tips on using chordless mixers by reading this thread...
Click to expand...

I was sort of stuck wondering if he really took me seriously, or if he was one upping me by pretending to take me seriously. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and chose the later.....Either way....It was pretty funny.
:p
 
I guess he should have added :rolleyes: or :D and I would have gotten it....
 
metalhead28 said:
I was sort of stuck wondering if he really took me seriously, or if he was one upping me by pretending to take me seriously. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and chose the later.....Either way....It was pretty funny.
:p
Click to expand...
I was serious as a fucking heart attack!! :mad:


:p :) not really!!....I used the smilie thingys to show that I was being sarcastic.....happy now fuckers? :mad: ......... :) < see?...another smilie thingy.
 
brandrum said:
I was serious as a fucking heart attack!! :mad:


:p :) not really!!....I used the smilie thingys to show that I was being sarcastic.....happy now fuckers? :mad: ......... :) < see?...another smilie thingy.
Click to expand...
........................................... :confused:







:D :D :cool:
 
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