Homeless musician telling jokes for Rep Points.

  • Thread starter Thread starter BSharp810
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BSharp810

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Okay guys, these jokes aren't free, go ahead and send me a few Rep Points right now if you dont mind.


What's the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
Most musicians have never been in a Porsche.

What's the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
The chain saw has greater dynamic range.

What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out both sides of his mouth?
The stage is level.

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None--they just steal somebody else's light.

Know how to make a million dollars singing jazz?
Start with two million.

What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra?
The bull has the horns in the front and the asshole in the back.

What's the difference between a conductor and a sack of fertilizer?
The sack.

Why is a drum machine better than a drummer?
Because it can keep a steady beat and won't sleep with your girlfriend.

What's the best thing to play on a set of bag pipes?
A flame thrower!

What do you throw a drowning guitar player?
His amp.

What do rappers say when they run out of pot?
Dude, what's this awful music?

What do you call a drummer without a girl friend?
Homeless.

Feel Free to go ahead and add the rep points at this moment if you havn't done so already.

Feel Free to add your own jokes to this post....as long as were taken care of adding my rep points first!!!
 
Pretty sure you can't see your rep until you hit 50 posts, so it doesn't really matter anyways ;)
 
What do you call a forum newb?
A rep begger.

You know...you can also get negative rep for recycling old musician jokes. ;)
 
I made my mind up that I was going to beg for points anyways. I figured i might as well put 5 minutes of work into the begging process!!
 
I'll wait till he hits 50 post then hit him, positive or negative, it's up to Bsharp. He has still yet to make me laugh though.
 
I need a harrumph from that guy! I didn't get a harrumph!
 
Hey mines broken! How come I always get the broken one?
 
The drooling was was kinda funny - but man - some of those were pretty painful
 
What the hay- I gave him positive rep. Heck, I'd do that for most anyone, except Csus7.
 
i don't really understand why anyone wants rep points so badly. What's the benefit?
 
The second from the last is really a Grateful Dead fan joke: What did the Deadheads say when the drugs ran out? 'Man, this music sucks'.
 
arcadeko said:
The drooling was was kinda funny - but man - some of those were pretty painful
Click to expand...

It's even funnier in it's original, and accurate, wording:

Q: How do you know the drum platform is level?

A: Drool is running out of BOTH sides of the drummer's mouth.

And, my favorite:

Q: What do you call someone who hangs out around musicians?

A: A drummer.

Q: What do you call someone who hangs out with drummers?

A: Greg_L.
 
My rep don't come cheap or easy. You have to earn it. And you won't with those "random letters that have been formed into sentences". You could hardly call them jokes.
 
Why does the guitar player keep a copy of Modern Drummer on his dash board?
So he can use the handicap parking spot.

How do you know a drummer is at your door?
The knocking speeds up and he doesn't know when to come in.

When a drummer is at your door, how do you get him to leave?
Pay him for the pizza.

What is the difference between an arrogant but cowardly SWAT officer and a drummer?
The officer acts brash and proud yet dreads a riot.
The drummer hits brass too loud yet heads too quiet.
 
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