hey, Im new here - new song =)

  • Thread starter Thread starter ziv
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The musical ideas behind this track are sound. I like the moody melancholy of it. I like the chord progression, and the basic arrangement.

However, there is a disturbing timing tension within the track, most noticeable with the kick double hits, and here and there with the guitars. Maybe the playing is drifting away slightly from the click track here and there. Possibly, though, you could find a better grid placement for the kick beats.

One of the guitar loops has a little percussive pull on it, and this appears each time (specially at the end when it is by itself), and is therefore noticeably a loop. This may not bother you too much, but it might influence other listeners who seek a more 'real' performance.

Your voice is a bit pitchy at times, but this doesn't worry me too much, because it suits the feel of the song.

I think there is considerable potential in this track, but I also think there is a little bit of work ahead to make it sparkle. Other than the things I've mentioned, there is a general 'sludginess' to the track that I can't put my finger on. Somehow I'd like to hear a clearer, cleaner sound, though I can't say what it is that's muddying it up.

I hope these observations are of use.
 
The musical ideas behind this track are sound. I like the moody melancholy of it. I like the chord progression, and the basic arrangement.

However, there is a disturbing timing tension within the track, most noticeable with the kick double hits, and here and there with the guitars. Maybe the playing is drifting away slightly from the click track here and there. Possibly, though, you could find a better grid placement for the kick beats.

One of the guitar loops has a little percussive pull on it, and this appears each time (specially at the end when it is by itself), and is therefore noticeably a loop. This may not bother you too much, but it might influence other listeners who seek a more 'real' performance.

Your voice is a bit pitchy at times, but this doesn't worry me too much, because it suits the feel of the song.

I think there is considerable potential in this track, but I also think there is a little bit of work ahead to make it sparkle. Other than the things I've mentioned, there is a general 'sludginess' to the track that I can't put my finger on. Somehow I'd like to hear a clearer, cleaner sound, though I can't say what it is that's muddying it up.

I hope these observations are of use.

I 100% agree with all of this.

To me, the whole things sound disjointed. The drums and sloppy timing are killing it for me. Sorry man. :(
 
As above really. But in addition to the timing, the reverb or delay (the effect, anyway) is over the top for me.

A really nice sad tune though which mixed better would be a lot more rewarding for the listener!

intomusic
 
thank you all, you pointed out the most important things in a great way, very clear explanation , I recorded the drums with a padkontrol, but since i didnt record the guitar with a click for exact BPM, i could set the drums right on grid, im still working on this tune, thank you all again!
http://www.myspace.com/zivd
 
I also agree on the timing issues.

You've got the start of a pretty decent recording here (though you might need to start over if you can't fix the the drum timing problem.)

The chorus kind of sounds like you're going for a bigger, poppier sound than the verses. As if the verse is muted and subdued, and the chorus is big and full. Am I correct in that? If so, it's a cool idea, but the chorus could use more.
I'd recommend bringing the vox forward a little more in the chorus and adding in some more instrumentation to fill out the high end. (Both of those could be done with some clever use of vocal harmonies.)
 
I also agree on the timing issues.

You've got the start of a pretty decent recording here (though you might need to start over if you can't fix the the drum timing problem.)

The chorus kind of sounds like you're going for a bigger, poppier sound than the verses. As if the verse is muted and subdued, and the chorus is big and full. Am I correct in that? If so, it's a cool idea, but the chorus could use more.
I'd recommend bringing the vox forward a little more in the chorus and adding in some more instrumentation to fill out the high end. (Both of those could be done with some clever use of vocal harmonies.)

yea actually I wanted the chorus to sound "bigger" but not happier if you know what I mean, more "harmonic" if I can define it like this.
 
Yeah, I catch your meaning. You don't really want the chorus to be more upbeat, but you do want it bigger and fuller.
 
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