I picked up this tune a couple days ago....
And I haven't been able to get it out of my head since!

I love the lyrics.
Great stuff! Very, very cleanly performed and produced. A friend of mine exclaimed "Wow! That sounds like it was professionally recorded!" (I was using it as bait to get him to check out this BBS.) What are you recording with? I'm quite curious.
After being blown away for a day or so, I started to listen more critically. There are a couple places where the synths sounds kinda stand out too much to my ears.
:31-:37- a little synth accent that, to my ears, doesn't sit into the mix- just a tad too up front.
1:27- this little break sounds good but also doesn't quite sit into it. Sounds a little digital or dry- I can't tell which. I think I want to hear each chord swell in volume.
Also, the ending seemed to lack dynamic...slightly. Its in character with the synthy sound- Like I can hear what you were going for but it doesn't quite have enough "Uumph!" Maybe its just the hard rocker in me rearing its ugly head...
That was listening through an Alesis Studio 24 and
Event PS-6 powered monitors. I also played it through my stereo (with decent consumer speakers) and everything meshed together better.
Thanks for putting this stuff up. It inspired me me revisit some of the mixes I've been playing with the past week and touch them up.
Take care,
Chris