Heartbreaker

[ido1957]

I've had the "Heartbreaker" vibe in mind for a while.
I hear this as a straight forward blues/rocker...
Will try to get this recorded in the next little while.

Heartbreaker c. G. Steele 20090508

Verse 1
There’s a fire in your eyes, there’s a devil deep inside of you
And that innocent smile, it’s just your way to hide the truth
There’s nothing real about you girl that, I can see
You’re living in your perfect world of, make believe
You’re a heartbreaker baby, why’d you go and break my heart

Verse 2
I heard about you baby but you know they say that love is blind
There’s a river of tears from all the broken hearts you left behind
Deep down inside you know that you’ve, done them wrong
Taking what you want and then you’re, up and gone
You’re a heartbreaker baby, why’d you go and break my heart

Bridge 1
Girl you hold the power you make all the rules
And there’s too many guys that want to be your fool
All those lonely nights I cry myself to sleep
My broken heart reminds me we will never be

Break

Bridge 2
On and on it goes and girl you’ll never learn
Till you give your love and there’s no, love returned
Then you’ll realize just what you’ve done to me
But I don’t wish this pain on anyone you see

You’re a heartbreaker baby, why’d you go and break my heart
You’re a heartbreaker baby, why’d you go and break my heart
You’re a heartbreaker baby, why’d you go and break my heart

 

[rayc]

Gerry,
Reads & it fits your style well - I can actually "hear" you singing as I read.
My only nit would be a bit of grammar:
"And there’s too many guys that want to be your fool"
should read
And there’re too many guys that want to be your fool

Just a bit of old fashioned plural agreement.

the story & lines are pretty trad blues - the false rhymes work well are are also pretty trad.
A cautionary tale of love and pain and how that story keeps coming back again!

I look forward to hearing it.

 

[ido1957]

Thanks Ray - I'll use there're or maybe there are - it's always subject to minor changes depending on where the melody goes. I was humming the melody as I wrote the lyrics, so the meter reflects that as mentioned. It's a bit along the lines of Real Love - a recent one stuck in my head...

 

[gecko zzed]

It reads like a blues rocker . . . and so I think it will turn out to be damn fine one.

Like RayC, my eyes seek out grammatical malfunctions. However, in song lyrics, I tend to be a bit more relaxed, and I'm not too concerned about the plural disagreement . . . and I kind of like the repeated "there's" throughout.

"You're a heartbreaker, Baby" is a great chorus hook. I'm not sure abut the second half of the line (only because I'm not sure what kind of rhthm you have in mind for it . . . I expect it will fit in fine).

 

[ido1957]

"You're a heartbreaker, Baby" is a great chorus hook. I'm not sure abut the second half of the line (only because I'm not sure what kind of rhthm you have in mind for it . . . I expect it will fit in fine).

Thanks GZ ! It's always a positive sign (to me) when the lyrics sort of have a sing/song feel to them, with some kind of built in feel/meter. Thta makes writing the melody/music that much easier.

I have an idea of what the melody will be like for the chorus line, hopefully it will have the swing/groove I'm looking for.

Thanks again!

 

[icystorm]

There’s a fire in your eyes, there’s a devil deep inside of you
And that innocent smile, it’s just your way to hide the truth

I like these songs that explore the "devil and angel" aspects of women. I think you've got a good set of lyrics, Gerry. I'm trying to envision the melody. I look forward to hearing you put this to music.

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[ido1957]

Thanks Joseph - I'm hoping to find some time this week to put some music to this.

 

[mjr]

Thanks Ray - I'll use there're or maybe there are - it's always subject to minor changes depending on where the melody goes. I was humming the melody as I wrote the lyrics, so the meter reflects that as mentioned. It's a bit along the lines of Real Love - a recent one stuck in my head...

Question...

What about changing the line

And there’s too many guys that want to be your fool

to

And there's too many guys you've made into fools

Just a thought.

Otherwise, I like it. Can't wait to hear it!

 

[ido1957]

Thanks for the feedback Monte! I'll keep your suggestion in mind. I'll record this once I get my new USB interface sorted out. I think it's computer related but I need to work that out before I can concentrate on the melody/recording.