God Knows - Lyrics too Busy?

J

Jahn

New member
Hello all, still working on lyrics that will flow well without sounding too wordy, but doesn't lose content. I appreciate the help!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=574902

Sung and played through one Shure SM57 and a DMP3 Pre-amp, going to an EMU 0404 soundcard to Audacity on my computer, in case you're interested, but at this point it's more of a soundwriting clinic I need help on, thanks!

Here are the Lyrics and the chords - sorry, the chords look like they all got shoved to the left.

F G Em Am
F G Am7sus Am7

Am G
Running away, my lonely heart can’t take anymore
F Dm G C Esus E7
Hard to forgive, there was nothing I could do
Am G
All of the pain, you’ve locked away and now you’re alone
F Dm G C Csus C
You never thought to open up and reach for me


Am Em
Turn away, life no longer has the same meaning
F Dm Esus E
Never looking back, do you really want me on that lonely rail


I’ll follow
F
Even though you’ll leave me
G
Even when my heart breaks
Em Am F
I won’t lose faith that you’re Always out there shining brightly
Dm Em Am7sus A7
Though this shade of darkness remains

I’ll be there
F
Breaking through my weakness
G
Moving to the future
Em Am Dm
We’re far apart but you’ll lead me back again and my ways
Em F G
Will someday cross with yours again
Asus A
Until then, may God Bless…







F G Em Am
F G Am7sus Am7

Am G
Passionate thoughts are burning when I speak them aloud
F Dm G C Esus E7
You Shatter those words with a harsh reality
Am G
No reason why, I should try to see you again
F Dm G C Csus C
You’re rushing down; I’m swept away by loving you


Am Em
Beautiful Dreams are all that’s left to capture that moment
F Dm Esus E
But Beauty fades away; and I am always aching for your lonely heart


One moment
F
I’m Ready to be honest
G
To Say I know you’re lying
Em Am F
Look at me and tell me the truth; Our love couldn’t survive there
Dm Em Am7sus A7
No reaching back for all our regrets


Keep going
F
‘Till I find you fighting
G
Past a grey illusion
Em Am Dm
We’re Changing what destiny brings together and it’s my wish
Em F G
To share this world with you again
Asus A
This hope only God knows






Am
When only we exist
Em G F
And everyone has disappeared into a dream,
Em Am Am7
I Feel their faith remain in me

Am
I’ll try to change the past
Em Em7 F G
I outline all our plans before they fade away
E7sus E7
But I just trace the scars



I’ll follow,
F#m
Forever
G
Even though you’ll leave me
A
Even when my heart breaks
F#m Bm G
I won’t lose faith that you’re always out there shining brightly
Em F#m F#7
Though this shade of darkness remains


I’ll be there
G
Breaking through my weakness
A
Moving to the future
F#m Bm Em
We’re far apart but you’ll lead me back again and my ways
F#m G A
Will someday cross with yours again
Bsus B
Until then, may God Bless…
 
I tried harmonizing to see if it would be too busy, but it actually sounds ok harmonizing so quickly with so many rapidfire words, hmm. maybe i'll do the whole thing that way and post it up at the MP3 clinic for advice on that end.

 
Jahn said:
I tried harmonizing to see if it would be too busy, but it actually sounds ok harmonizing so quickly with so many rapidfire words, hmm. maybe i'll do the whole thing that way and post it up at the MP3 clinic for advice on that end.

Click to expand...

My only complaint is that it seems like the guitar drowns out the vocals.
 
I like it too!

Good concept and performance

My only suggestion would be to capo up maybe 3-4 frets to put in a higher key. That will put you into , I think, your "power range" This may give the vox more urgency and expression. I hate to capo anything as a hardcore guitarist, but sometimes it can be helpful to the singer.

writeonnnn
chazba
 
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