FULL CIRCLE Camel Comm Wagon Train

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Sounds like a great start. Tune is very catchy, so keep with this.
I don['t hear anything I would toss away....just mix it all better. The vocals and guitar sound well together, so try and put it all together around these 2 things, and it should mesh pretty well. :D
 
Thanks Dogman,
I'll start this weekend & see how things progress from there.
Thanks for the supportive response.
 
Listening on headphones....just a few things that come to mind..

The guitar has a great sound but it's the most dominant part to my ears.

The vocals are pretty close to where I'd like to hear them...

So.... I'm wondering if eq'ing the guitar away from the vocals would help. Maybe...

The bass and drums could come up a tad to achieve the same levels as the guitar and vocals.

A second guitar with panning would help move the guitars away from the vocals too.....

Mix aside, this is another cool tune.... I really like the songwriting and the lyrics in your songs and Terry's delivery is right on.....Cool sax too....

Any luck on the auction for the Bruno?

:D :) :D :)
 
This is a cool song man! At first I thought that the guitar needed a less harsh treble sound but I don't know. It could be that a volume adjustment would take care of most of it and maybe a hair of verb. I like the tone it's very clear and percise just jumps out a little to much. Very interesting stuff! I like it! Just needs to find a little more balance to my ears.

I am going to have to look up more of your toons!

F.S.

PS: More drums too. I can hear a bit less than a hint of them. and I have a pretty drum friendly monitor setup.
 
"Revolution Blues"!! Cool stuff there! I'm going to butt out now because you obviously have a whole sound worked out. Just wanted to let you know I listend to some other things and liked them.



F.S.
 
STRIPPED BACK TO BASICS straight from TAPE

Stripped back to basics.
Just some minor EQ, a little compression on the guitars & bass & stereoed the guitar. All augmentation done in Cakewalk previously has been stripped away. NO REVERB, CHORUS, DELAY etc YET - Cold Turkey!!!!
Ido1957,
Thanks mate. I've stripped it back to basics & have the guitar split & EQ'd away from the vocals. Percussion will have to be re recorded but that's OK. How are the levels with this version?
Re the Bruno - I emailed the fellow but he wasn't particularly interested in selling to down under so quoted shipment at US$250+ in addition to the sale price - it didn't meet reserve either so he lost a sale. Mind you the p/up that was crook in that one is the same as is a dud in mine. Still would've bought it at a reasonable price though.

http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=4326936&q=hi

Freudian Slip,
Thanks mate. A stripped back mixed at this link. So I'll be looking for comments re verb etc so PLEASE offer suggestions as I always try out constructive ideas. I think the guitar might bite even more at this stage but you may be able to recco some mods.
 
rayc said:
Stripped back to basics.
Just some minor EQ, a little compression on the guitars & bass & stereoed the guitar. All augmentation done in Cakewalk previously has been stripped away. NO REVERB, CHORUS, DELAY etc YET - Cold Turkey!!!!
Ido1957,
Thanks mate. I've stripped it back to basics & have the guitar split & EQ'd away from the vocals. Percussion will have to be re recorded but that's OK. How are the levels with this version?
Re the Bruno - I emailed the fellow but he wasn't particularly interested in selling to down under so quoted shipment at US$250+ in addition to the sale price - it didn't meet reserve either so he lost a sale. Mind you the p/up that was crook in that one is the same as is a dud in mine. Still would've bought it at a reasonable price though.

http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=4326936&q=hi

Freudian Slip,
Thanks mate. A stripped back mixed at this link. So I'll be looking for comments re verb etc so PLEASE offer suggestions as I always try out constructive ideas. I think the guitar might bite even more at this stage but you may be able to recco some mods.
Click to expand...

I like it better with the augmentation....it had a bit more bottom end on the mix.

This stripped down version =

Bass is more even with the guitar. Drums could come up a tiny bit, as could the vocals. They are ever so close to being where I'd like them. I can hear them but would like them emphasized a bit more. Then add back the augmentation once that's done......
 
Good ryhthm axe guitar intro.

Good bass volume.

Your vocals are superb!

00:46 ...I think there is some subtle, yet noticable feedback or something coming through. I usually can't hear stuff like this!! Wow, my ears must be super sensitive tonight or something. Also around here, the axe is beginning to pressure the vocals with volume until around 1:11.... when you have an octave change? I really really like this...good move!! The feedback goes away here too. The vox and the axe both seem to just meld togather here for some excellent harmony betwixt the two...but then once more around 1:52, the feedback thing comes in again(are you intending this?) until 2:17 when the sax kicks in, which is really nice. There is a tiny axe glinch or hesitation is more like it, at 2:26 with the guitar. The feedback starts subtley again 4:03 and increases in noticability from around 4:08 to 4:19, where the roland comes in and it really does sound disconnected from the song. It is very distracting also. I don't think I would use the roland. The guitar work is good enough here and gives the character needed, for sinking teeth into. :) :) :) :)

A very good song !!!
 
Lyrics

Here's a copy of the lyric.
I had to transcribe as I can't find a complete set - Terry ablibbed a bit I think. He'll let me know where & when I stuffed up - esp the nuclear related spelling.
Full Circle
The razor’s edge is getting even finer
You always try to walk the middle line
Swapping baubles for a country
The gaudy trinkets lose their shine
Smooth the pillow, spread the blanket
Move the trouble makers out of town
Dreary nightmares on the outskirts
Visions flee from the people’s mind
Dreary nightmares on the outskirts
Visions flee from
But is it better to live
& get your spirit from a bottle
Or is it better to die,
Let your spilt blood feed the ground?
Is it better to live,
Shield you hope just like a candle,
Waiting for full circle
As time turns back the tide?
Bitter struggles on the skyline
The clear sky flows through the bloodshot tears.
The fights were long & draining
Warriors have long time broke their spears
Hearts separation from their mother
Breathing in a brave new home
Seems there’s no future in the future
And spark… fly from the stone
Seems there’s no future in the future
The brave new world has tried & failed
But is it better to live
& get your spirit from a bottle
Or is it better to die,
Let your spilt blood feed the ground?
Is it better to live,
Shield you hope just like a candle,
Waiting for full circle
As time turns back the tide?
What’s a nation?
What’s a country?
Is there a choice anyway?
All the hope of conquered peoples
Have dried up & blown away.
Hisalick & Maralinga
Muaroua, Passiondale
Once more the country’s on a platter
To new logos we’ll all be nailed
Once more the country’s on a platter
The brave new world has tried & failed
So is it better to live
& get your spirit from a bottle
Or is it better to die,
Let your spilt blood feed the ground?
Is it better to live,
Shield you hope just like a candle,
Waiting for full circle
As time turns back the tide?


True - You should be best mates with Noddy!!! I'll listen in closely where you've indicated. I've not listened closely for a very long time.
Thanks heaps for that detail - important stuff too & with time markers so I don't have to search - THANK YOU VERY MUCH- i'll get to it post haste.
Oh, I hope the Noddy's mate reference isn't a) rude & b) too obscure. Hint - I don't mean Noddy from Slade - it's a childish literary reference. Again TA.
 
I just listened to your tweaked version. It sounds much too bright to me. Especially the axe. Too much High.

The guitar has a much better tone in the first one.

The bass sounds better in this one. More deliberate

The vocals are good, but once more, I like the first take the best. There is a soft overtone in them in that one that kinda pulls one's ears to listen closer. These vox are a bit harsh.

I still don't care for the roland at all.

Sorry if I repeat anything someone else said, but I usually don't like to read what others say, as not to influence what I hear...until after I listen.

True :)
 
rayc said:
Here's a copy of the lyric.
I had to transcribe as I can't find a complete set - Terry ablibbed a bit I think. He'll let me know where & when I stuffed up - esp the nuclear related spelling.
Full Circle
The razor’s edge is getting even finer
You always try to walk the middle line
Swapping baubles for a country
The gaudy trinkets lose their shine
Smooth the pillow, spread the blanket
Move the trouble makers out of town
Dreary nightmares on the outskirts
Visions flee from the people’s mind
Dreary nightmares on the outskirts
Visions flee from
But is it better to live
& get your spirit from a bottle
Or is it better to die,
Let your spilt blood feed the ground?
Is it better to live,
Shield you hope just like a candle,
Waiting for full circle
As time turns back the tide?
Bitter struggles on the skyline
The clear sky flows through the bloodshot tears.
The fights were long & draining
Warriors have long time broke their spears
Hearts separation from their mother
Breathing in a brave new home
Seems there’s no future in the future
And spark… fly from the stone
Seems there’s no future in the future
The brave new world has tried & failed
But is it better to live
& get your spirit from a bottle
Or is it better to die,
Let your spilt blood feed the ground?
Is it better to live,
Shield you hope just like a candle,
Waiting for full circle
As time turns back the tide?
What’s a nation?
What’s a country?
Is there a choice anyway?
All the hope of conquered peoples
Have dried up & blown away.
Hisalick & Maralinga
Muaroua, Passiondale
Once more the country’s on a platter
To new logos we’ll all be nailed
Once more the country’s on a platter
The brave new world has tried & failed
So is it better to live
& get your spirit from a bottle
Or is it better to die,
Let your spilt blood feed the ground?
Is it better to live,
Shield you hope just like a candle,
Waiting for full circle
As time turns back the tide?


True - You should be best mates with Noddy!!! I'll listen in closely where you've indicated. I've not listened closely for a very long time.
Thanks heaps for that detail - important stuff too & with time markers so I don't have to search - THANK YOU VERY MUCH- i'll get to it post haste.
Oh, I hope the Noddy's mate reference isn't a) rude & b) too obscure. Hint - I don't mean Noddy from Slade - it's a childish literary reference. Again TA.
Click to expand...
LOL!! I don't know who Noddy is, so I can't be offended!! I doubt that I would be anyway!! :D A childish literary reference? It is time to GOOGLE!!!

I do love this song ray! Is that you on the sax?

You are very welkom!!
 
True,
try this link:
http://www.noddy.com/index.html?country=uk
Bottom left hand corner, who lives in Toy land & Noddy's friends should get you there.
Make sure you go to the UK version as I'm not sure of the changes made for US consumption. You'll find a friend of Noddy's who has an attribute (or two) that you seem to have applied to inform your excelent critique of the tune.
 
rayc said:
True,
try this link:
http://www.noddy.com/index.html?country=uk
Bottom left hand corner, who lives in Toy land & Noddy's friends should get you there.
Make sure you go to the UK version as I'm not sure of the changes made for US consumption. You'll find a friend of Noddy's who has an attribute (or two) that you seem to have applied to inform your excelent critique of the tune.
Click to expand...
Big ears because he is 100 years old!! I don't know for sure which one. I feel like all of them!! :D

That was a cool site! ray, how did you know so much about it? :p
 
Big Ears because you listen & hear sooooo well.
My wife's a teacher/librarian in a public "primary" school (4.9 to 12yrs).
So childish, & children's, literary references are just a part of the household really.
Whilst Blyton was in the naughty corner for a while because of the character named Golliwog, she's been partially rehabilitated through the recognition that she was "of her time".
It is a cute site isn't it?
 
rayc said:
Big Ears because you listen & hear sooooo well.
My wife's a teacher/librarian in a public "primary" school (4.9 to 12yrs).
So childish, & children's, literary references are just a part of the household really.
Whilst Blyton was in the naughty corner for a while because of the character named Golliwog, she's been partially rehabilitated through the recognition that she was "of her time".
It is a cute site isn't it?
Click to expand...
Thanks ray, but sometimes it seems I have cotton in them!! :D

LOL!! You will live a heathier and longer life, with all of the childish magic dust sprinkling on your soul anyway!!
rayc said:
I've played with the vocal, drums & guitar to warm them up a little. Did it work?
http://www.soundclick.com/util/getp...id=4326936&q=hi
Click to expand...
Ray, I am on my way to a birthday BBQ for one of my sons...I will give a listen later tonight. I am looking forward to hear the tweaking. :cool:
 
Listened to the latest version. Very nice vocal. I'd bring up the vocal, reduce the gtr maybe 2 dB around 3 kHz , wide bell filter. Maybe add a slight delay to the gtr to get a L/R difference, no verb though. I'd leave out the instrument (not sure what it is) that enters around 4:20 - it's a little out of tune.

Good feel to the track.

Tim
 
Thanks Timothy,
I'll have to work arond the Rhodes (a real one too) as Terry was playing about in the background as I was recording the bass track & it was picked up by the cab mic.
I'll try the EQ tonight - I've put up another thread with the latest changes & rough mixed percussion. Let me know if the guitars in that one still require the cut please. I glad you suggest the delay for differentiation. I've tried almost everything else & the results were either too coarse or too subtle. I'll give it a burl.
True - my collaborator, Terry, is very impressed with your critique. As keyboard player on the track he agrees with your listening & with Timothy's.
 
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