Friends - feedback please

[ido1957]

I think I'm pretty much done this one. I made a number of little changes to the lyrics, they seem to flow better now than my first draft. I noticed the problems when I started trying to put the melody together.

Anyway - the lyrics are shown below along with a link to a very rough mix of the tune. I'll redo this eventually, but wanted to get this down "on paper".

Looking forward to your feedback mainly on the lyrics and songwriting.

link to FRIENDS:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=395006&songID=4024020

Friends

Seems so long ago, when I walked along this road
Wondering to myself, what life was all about
Tried to find my way, but I felt so out of place
Guess I didn’t know just what was going on

Then you looked my way, and your smile it gave me strength
I was glad someone like you had come around
Cause I realized a friend was what I’d found

Had my share of days, things just didn’t go my way
Lost and all alone not knowing what to do
You always kept me strong, when things were going wrong
Working out our problems, always make it through

Took adversity, turned it into victory
You were there for me and I was there for you
Now I realize that’s what a friend will do

Remembering the times together
I still see the pictures in my mind
I’ll keep these memories with me forever
Even though we have to leave this all behind
We be friends until the end of time

Now my friend we find, at a crossroads in our life
Leaving this behind, it’s on to something new
We might drift apart, but you’re always in my heart
It’s time to celebrate and raise a glass or two

Yes and here today, there’s so much I want to say
Just remember all that we’ve been through
Cause there’s no better friends than me and you

 

[guitarist_44]

I just listened to your song, and I've got mixed feelings about it. For the most part I like it. It's got a great groove to it and a good melody that I would defniitly listen to more than once. At times the song was fairly predictable, which is sometimes good, and sometimes a little boring, but that can be changed with a band backing you up or something. But on the good side, the singing was really well done, I think your voice matches the song perfectly. The recording itself could have been better, but like you said, you just wanted it down on paper, so thats cool. My favorite part of the song, definitly the lyrics. At first I didn't like em, I kind of thought they were "bland", but pretty soon I got good image in my head, and I heard a very good story being told. The way the lyrics were written actually reminds me kind of how I would write a song.

So ya, final verdict...

Great song, guitar, lyrics and vocals. If you record it again, but spend some more time on it, It will turn out to be an awesome song! Make sure you let me know if you do!

 

[true-eurt]

Gerry, I just listened to your new one in the rough!! Love it man! I left ya a message on the board at soundclick...basically says...killer song!!

Your lyrics are so real and straightforward. No having to guess what you are conveying.

The music is good too! Can't wait to hear your finished mix on this!!

True

 

[andyhix]

I spent an hour or two last night watching a John Denver concert on PBS. I could see John doing this tune. I mean that as a compliment, by the way.

I like the vocal melody and chord progression, but I'd like to hear a lead instrument (could be almost anything - another guitar, mandolin, strings, tuba, etc.) and some vocal harmonies. Will you be including some more 'layers' for the final version? If not, a different strumming/picking style should be considered to add a little more musical interest.

 

[ido1957]

guitarist_44 - thanks for the comments and the listen. I usually try to write lyrics that tell a story, and hopefully they will stand on their own. The theme was leaning towards a school friendship, say college level. Friends meet, help each other during their time together, then bid a fond farewell at the end. Finding them predictable (and bland ), even on the first read, encourages me to work a bit harder next time to make them even better.

true - thanks for the kind words and for posting on my message board - glad you like the song. This was just a quick take to get this down and I'll work on the mix later. I'll start working on the mix soon....

andyhix - thanks for the compliments . I have an 8-track ADAT so I'll probably have two rhythm guitars, lead guitar, bass, lead and backup vocals and drums when I re-record this. I'll like your suggestion of a lead instrument within the verses and or chorus'. I need to think about the harmonies also....

It's taking me forever to write this repsonse as I'm watching our team, the Edmonton Oilers, play the Hurricanes in the Stanley Cup Finals. And it's a great game!!!

 

[guitarist_44]

Hey

When i said predictable and sometimes boring, i didn't mean that in a very harsh manner. I just meant like if u changed up the guitar playin a little bit or stuck a couple little fills in, it would give the song some mystery about it.

But ya, I didn't say that to be mean, I'm not sure if you took it that way or not, haha, but if u were offended by it, i appologize.

 

[ido1957]

Hey

When i said predictable and sometimes boring, i didn't mean that in a very harsh manner. I just meant like if u changed up the guitar playin a little bit or stuck a couple little fills in, it would give the song some mystery about it.

But ya, I didn't say that to be mean, I'm not sure if you took it that way or not, haha, but if u were offended by it, i appologize.

Hey guitarist_44 - absolutely no need to apologize. I misread your comments, and now that I've re-read them, I can see where you were talking about the music, rather than the lyrics. My apologies to you for misreading your comments! The comments on the music part are right on; once I re-record I'll look at more instruments/parts to make it more interesting. Thanks again for taking the time to listen, I appreciate the comments! And I'll pay closer attention to comments next time