First original song... any opinions?

  • Thread starter Thread starter NotThatBright
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I enjoyed it. :D Not sure what advice, if any, I can give, because I don't really know exactly what you're aiming for. It's a very solid, dense track and you can hear everything that counts pretty clearly. If that was your aim, then you've succeeded. :D I don't think it sounds half-hearted or overly amateurish, but just like a band that knows how they want to sound. The tempo wanders, but that doesn't matter if that's what your band sounds like. It certainly doesn't sound "wrong" in the sense of somebody attempting to recreate something and failing. I want to hear something else. :)
 
Bubba po said:
I enjoyed it. :D Not sure what advice, if any, I can give, because I don't really know exactly what you're aiming for. It's a very solid, dense track and you can hear everything that counts pretty clearly. If that was your aim, then you've succeeded. :D I don't think it sounds half-hearted or overly amateurish, but just like a band that knows how they want to sound. The tempo wanders, but that doesn't matter if that's what your band sounds like. It certainly doesn't sound "wrong" in the sense of somebody attempting to recreate something and failing. I want to hear something else. :)
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Thanks. I don't have a band, this is just me screwing around with a mixer and three instruments that I can't really play, then yelling into a mic. I have written and recorded a few songs... they require a somewhat skewed sense of humor like mine to appreciate them. This is the worst (as in shittiest) of the bunch, but also the most innocuous. I'm sure there are people dumb enough out there to take the lyrics of the others seriously, so I went with this one :)
 
It's a decent recording considering what you have to work with. I'm not real crazy about the lyric though.
 
Thanks. Regarding the lyrics, I actually agree... I don't mind writing tasteless stuff if it's at least somewhat clever, but this definitely isn't something I can include with an application to Princeton.
 
Yeah this isn't anything I'd get too excited about. I love me some irreverent, obnoxious, potentially very offensive subject matter, I really do, but this seems like it's trying too hard to be subversive. It's not clever or witty enough IMO to be bad in a good way. There's a fine line between blatantly stupid and brilliantly stupid. Know what I mean? I think you're on the wrong side of that line with this song.

But!.......the good news is you say this is your first song? It's not bad at all for a first song. I like where your head is at. You and I could be good buddies in here if this is the way you want your music to be. I've been waiting for someone else to come along with my kind of musical humor.

As for the mix, that's what this is all about after all, I don't think the mix is very good, but it suits the song and style. Old Black Flag and Dead Kennedys records don't have technically good mixes either, but those songs and albums wouldn't be "right" sounding like a fucking foo fighters record. No caps on the "foo fighters" on purpose. Hold on, let me listen again and I'll give better mix feedback.....
 
Okay listening again....this really reminds me of old Dag Nasty and The Freeze.

The drums are pretty flat. I'd like more low end thump from the kick, but beware adding more "woof". Woof is bad. The attack pops through a little, which is good, the low mids of the kick kind of muck it up. The snare is the same. Kind of flat and dark, but it's got some nice wire sizzle that shows up occasionally. A little EQ and maybe some gentle compression will tighten both up well I believe. Better tuning, mic placement, and individual treatment of those pieces will yield better results. Toms sound okay. Overhead(s) are okay. A little trashy, but that works for this song. The drumming performance is not very good. A better drumming take would help immensely. Bad sounding drums are more tolerable when they're played well.

I love the bass - both in tone and performance. Nicely done there.

The guitars sound a little cheap to me. Like a solid state amp with a lot of gain, but you avoided fizz, so not too bad there. They're light in the lows, but that works for the song. Like the drums, I think I'd like better tones. Less gain, more chunk. Not like metal chunk, but like....just a little less gain. More crunch, less generic searing "distortion".

Vocals....meh. I don't really care. They work fine for the song. I can hear em, they don't sound bad in the mix. I can't imagine they could be any better for a song like this. You don't need to be Celine fucking Dion to belt out this stuff.

All of the levels seem pretty good. Nothing seems to be competing for volume or space. Seems pretty balanced to me.

So all in all, a pretty good job for a new writer and recorder. Keep it up, you will get better and better. :)
 
Greg_L said:
Okay listening again....this really reminds me of old Dag Nasty and The Freeze.

The drums are pretty flat. I'd like more low end thump from the kick, but beware adding more "woof". Woof is bad. The attack pops through a little, which is good, the low mids of the kick kind of muck it up. The snare is the same. Kind of flat and dark, but it's got some nice wire sizzle that shows up occasionally. A little EQ and maybe some gentle compression will tighten both up well I believe. Better tuning, mic placement, and individual treatment of those pieces will yield better results. Toms sound okay. Overhead(s) are okay. A little trashy, but that works for this song. The drumming performance is not very good. A better drumming take would help immensely. Bad sounding drums are more tolerable when they're played well.

I love the bass - both in tone and performance. Nicely done there.

The guitars sound a little cheap to me. Like a solid state amp with a lot of gain, but you avoided fizz, so not too bad there. They're light in the lows, but that works for the song. Like the drums, I think I'd like better tones. Less gain, more chunk. Not like metal chunk, but like....just a little less gain. More crunch, less generic searing "distortion".

Vocals....meh. I don't really care. They work fine for the song. I can hear em, they don't sound bad in the mix. I can't imagine they could be any better for a song like this. You don't need to be Celine fucking Dion to belt out this stuff.

All of the levels seem pretty good. Nothing seems to be competing for volume or space. Seems pretty balanced to me.

So all in all, a pretty good job for a new writer and recorder. Keep it up, you will get better and better. :)
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I appreciate all the detailed feedback. I agree it's a stupid song, I probably took 10 minutes to write it after I got a call asking me to pick up a friend at the DUI center. I was too drunk to get him myself, so I did what any good friend would do, I wrote a song to make him feel worse. And a bad song, to boot!

I'll see what I can do with my mixer to make the sonic changes you mention... I'm a bit hamstrung when it comes to changing some stuff, but I can definitely move a mic 6 inches and see what happens.

I never liked Dave Smalley's voice, but I probably still heard the "Can I Say" album 500 times in my life. I don't see any similarity between this song and DN, but then, I don't see much! :)

I see we're basically into the same shitty music. When I first bought instruments and a mixer and started all this nonsense around last Christmas I cut my teeth recording mostly pre-Rollins Black Flag. Lots of hitting cymbals and yelling into a spitguard. Good stuff.

My songs are nothing special, but my other songs are certainly better than this one. If you've got time I'll post you one.
 
Yeah post em up.

It just reminds me of that mid 80s era of low-budget hardcore/punk. I don't mean low budget in a derogatory way, but in the sense that they literally didn't have the budget to make better recordings.

I really really like old Black Flag, Circle Jerks, DK, Minor Threat, Agent Orange, stuff like that.
 
Greg_L said:
Yeah post em up.

It just reminds me of that mid 80s era of low-budget hardcore/punk. I don't mean low budget in a derogatory way, but in the sense that they literally didn't have the budget to make better recordings.

I really really like old Black Flag, Circle Jerks, DK, Minor Threat, Agent Orange, stuff like that.
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No offense taken. I'm not baring my soul with this crap I write and/or record like some of the guys I've seen on this site that give the impression that they already have their head in a noose and are ready to kick out the chair if they get negative feedback. I'm just doing it for fun.

All great bands. I was never into "straight-edge" or any other bullshit that came with the music (speaking of MT). They should have just sung about the weather!

Here's a song that is obviously tongue-in-cheek.

https://soundcloud.com/user92696274096/bullet-to-the-head/s-dRjKj
 
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