...first MP3 clinic entry

Sean,

I loved this song. It just needs a little polish. The guitar work was really nice, but it seemed to suddenly appear out of nowhere.
Like there's no guitar for the whole song, then all of a sudden it jumps in. Just my .02. Definitely keep the bass. It rocks!


Twist
 
Thanks! I'm not really a bass player, but I'm getting some good responses to the bass line. I used my fiance's small-scale Fender Bronco :)

And yes, the guitar is definitely needed. I threw a shuffly guitar line in (you can barely hear it), but I had to kill the volume because my intonation was off and I was playing it high on the neck. At first, I thought it might fly without it, but it doesn't. I'm going to write something and put it in there this weekend.
 
This is nice. :-)

Keys could come down a bit, and the vox could be a bith louder.. The kick sounds odd in this song. Maybe some more use of stereo technology (tm)

Ooooh... vinyl brake, and a very nice one at that!! I like!

not bad, not bad at all.
 
I think you're right about the kick. I tried to do some EQ surgery, but it didn't pan out ...no pun intended :) I'm not sure what to do about it at this point, but I'll keep trying.

And holy crap, that has got to be the strangest avatar I've seen yet :) I guess Smurfs really do suck :D
 
When you mix yourself singing you have to mix the vocals WAY too loud. :) That way everybody else will think the vocals are in level. :)

Is the song really only 1:51 long? It seems much longer, which probably means it's a bit boring. You need more breaks, maybe a strong chorus. The cymbal (hi hat) in the intro sounds....well....a bit cheap. Or maybe it sounds like it has a cheap reverb slapped on it. Heck, I don't know, I suck at drums. :)

Other than that, it's really, really good.
 
I thought it sounded great!
I love the keys,real nice tone
Your voice is really good,definitly bring it up.

Writing is good ,I liked the production.

Sorry,couldn't find anything to critisize.
Oh ya,that little thing you did with the vocals at 2:16 was way cool!:D

Really enjoyable,
Pete
 
Regebro: I know about the vox level - when I'm mixing, I really feel like they're too loud when they're not :)

Actually, the song is 3:50. I have it stored on my ISP's server space (Comcast), so connection hiccups and pukes are not uncommon :rolleyes: I'm ready to strangle Comcast :mad:

And yeah, I'm going to lose the open hihat at the beginning, and find something to stick in there if it needs it.

muzeman: Thanks for the review mang :) The vocal thing was just a bit o' flange leading into the solo (that doesn't exist yet) :D I think I'm starting to get out of hand :o with the smilies :cool: :D :cool: :rolleyes:
 
Well, long weekend & all, I managed to get an update done. Mucho thanks again for all the comments.

- Doubled the vox
- Added guitars
- Fixed the pops
- Mixed down a bit hotter
- Fixed the nasty backups
- Re-did levels & panning w/ new guitar track
- Took out the rock-star hihats in the beginning :D

Hopefully, I didn't make it worse :)

I left the old one out there in case anyone wanted to compare. Still no solo (sax player couldn't make it again), but short of that I think most of the pieces are in place.

 
sean those vocals kick ass! The touch of chorus in places really rox, and you can sing your ass off! Harmonies in the verse are so, so sweeeeeeeeeet! :)

Tis wonderful, my man :)


Chad
 
Alright you doubled those vox!!!!I knew that would set them off and flying!This is great man!
 
:)

SM79
Smmooootthhh !!!

I almost forgot what a Rhodes sounded like!

The Vocal balance with the instruments is really nice!

Great Job!
 
First mix:
Man, I so love someone who has the guts to use a Rhodes sound and do it well... Nice stylistic 70s nostalgia trip... Vox are a bit low in the mix, and the overall sonic palette could be described as "airy"... I think it's that the groove is not really firmly planted, the drummer is a mite tentative, specifically on the on the off-eighth kicks and the right hand. The kick is mixed thin as well, which deprives the piece of the solid "whump" this groove seems to be crying for.

Good individual playing all around; there is a small lack of cohesiveness to it.

However, it's a rollicking, fun work. The breakdown section near the end took me quite by surprise, and I enjoyed every second of it. The little gentle kicks behind it were respectful of what you were trying to do, they kept their place and added to the ambience. .

2ND MIX:
Definite improvement on that beginning, the hihats needed killing... Okay, now this kicks harder. Bass drum is still a little timid, but the heavier bass guitar brings it home. The mix feels denser; this is what it needed, it's fleshier; meatier. Improvement all around! You listened to what everyone had to say! Well done sir!!!

Phil "Llarion: The Jazzinator" Traynor
www.llarion.com
-Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons;
for you are crunchy, and go well with ketchup.
 
Sounds good!
This is a really great song!

I liked your voice better without the doubling.
You sound more than good enough without it,mabey just lighten up the double a little.
I think it's diminishing the harmonies too.JMHOP

I love that funky keyboard playing,cool!
Guitars sounded just right.

Really nice!

Pete
 
Still a great song.....seems to sound better in the second mix. I like the keys....missing that solo. If he stands you up again I'm coming over there. :)
 
Cool! Thanks for the kudos, y'all. I couldn't have done it without you.

participant: Thanks! Actually, there's no chorus, it's all doubled. I had to sing it through 3 times and comp the track to get it right :)

Kramer: You de man - it was your idea, and a good one at that. I haven't had a lot of luck doubling vox before. Thanks to TexRoadKill too - I looked up a few posts on doubling and used his method - compress the hell out of it, bring the volume down and pan it off a bit.

jcmm: Thanks - I'm using the stock Ray-Charles preset on my QS :D

Llarion: I know exactly what you mean about the groove not being firmly planted. In fact, I struggled with re-doing it a few times for that exact reason, and even tried adding more percussion on the 4's to lock the groove in a bit more - didn't work. As I'm playing everything myself, I did the drums first, and it wasn't as obvious then. Ah well... hindsight is 20/20. Thanks very much for detailed review. Much appreciated.

muzeman: Thanks for the compliment on the vox. I compressed the doubled vocal track, so it seems more predominant in the verses, and (I think) just about right in the chorus. I might try to automate the mix and even it out a bit.

Lt. Bob: Thanks. Actually, it's a "she" sax player, who is also my finance's sister, so the whole ass-kicking thing is probably out :D She rocks, but she's a way busy chick. ...besides, she's got a really nice SD condenser I'm dyin' to try -can't push my luck too hard :D If I get too impatient, I'll just nix the sax and figure out something else to put in there for a lead.
 
Hey - look at me selfishly drag my thread back to the surface :D

I've been working on other projects, but I FINALLY got the sax solo in (almost gave up on it), and figured sombody might want to hear it. She forgot to bring her clip-on condenser, so I just used the Oktava. I think I had it up a bit too close ...oh well - hindsight is 20/20 - lesson learned.

Anyway, here it is for anybody who's interested



Thanks again for everybody's help :D
 
hopefully i don't repeat too much, but i didn't read past posts.........this sounds great man........i really like the vocals......turn 'em up a bit.........i'd lose the vocal effect around 2:20, a subjective comment, but i think they hold without the effect better..............nice overall production......sounds like a real production.............good job
 
Sounds sweet man!I was going through my clinic downloads folder yesterday and played the first version of this a couple of times.Killer tune.
 
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