...first MP3 clinic entry

Seanmorse79

Seanmorse79

New member
Well, here's what I've been pecking at over the last 2 weeks. I ended up breaking some of my own rules ...1) Don't write while you're recording a keeper, 2) Always mic the amp when recording guitar - never direct. I got a bit impatient :)



Anyway, shoot some holes in it - recording, mixing, arranging, performing, equipment, anything. All (constructive) critisizm is welcome and appreciated.

As of right now, there's an empty space for the lead - waiting for a friend to come over and lay down some groovy sax. Other than that, I'm not crazy about the vox.

Have at it, and thanks :)
 
Good balance in the mix on this... first part of the vocal seemed a little low for your range, then makes a nice jump to the next octave. I like the way the groove changes a bit when the lead guitar comes in. Drums and bass laying in nicely.
Very cool.
 
Overall: nice song, nice atmosphere.

first of all, the last clap in the intro seems a bit off-time or quieter, kinda ruins the groove. Also the half-open HH gives me the impression of a big rock fill-in opening the song. Imo a closed tsjik could be more in the style of your later drumming.

the rohdesy keyboard sound is cool for me, but gets too dominant (not to say a bit boring) further on.
I absolutely like in this style is 1 or 2 tsjakka-whacking rhythm guitars.

Technically ok for my ears & phones.

Especially dig the end: FX on vocals + vinyl old-skool groove. Could be cool (or cliché) to start the song with that sound and end with it too.

:cool:
Herwig
 
mkg: You don't even know how right you are. I wrote the song on keys, and didn't write the lyrics until after. I couldn't find a higher vocal phrazing that I liked, so I figured I'd just stick it out. I think I do need to dig the 'nards out of my pocket and re-do it :)

DeadPoet: The clap in the very beginning is just my little starter-click. I'll take it out when it's done. The open HH was originally meant to be the same thing, but my fiance told me to leave it in. I agree with you - I'm taking it out :) If it sounds too flat, I'll have to think of something to drop in there, maybe some closed hi-hat schtuff like you said.

I did do a little shuffly guitar part fairly high on the neck, only to realize my intonation was off (doh!). I didn't really like the part anyway, so I'll think of something to plop in there - wasn't sure if it needed it, but I think you're right and it does.

Mucho graci for the very observant comments, guys. Much appreciated.
 
cool groove ... yea guitar is missing ... I also think it needs little lead for the opening like in the end ... I would of started singing right after first drum roll ... well maybe :) ... vocal gets a little lost other then that pretty good mix ...
cheers
 
Oh ye, I'm downloading this so I can compare to later version so get to work ... :D
 
Do you think the vocal gets lost just in the beginning or the whole way through? I tried scooping out some of the eq on the keys to leave room for the vox - guess I need to do some surgery - especially when I add some guitar. Thanks for the comment though - I'll keep that in mind - looks like I'll be busy this weekend (hey, cut me some slack) :D
 
The vocal get lost throughout IMHO ... partly because it's low volume wise and low freq wise ... oh ye hamony is not always jives with the main vocal when you go up before the ending there ... but that part needs a choir anyway ... :)
cheers
 
Very nice song. I like everything, but agree with FED that the vocals are lost throughout. I think they could be brought way up front. Otherwise it's great so far. :)
 
Decent song. I liked the bass part - very cool. I liked the keyboard sound you got going there too.

Like some others, I thought that the vocals were to low as well. Some words get nearly lost all together. There was a minor vocal sync issue or two (e.g., 2:35, 2:55-2:58). It seemd you had a bit of trouble hitting some of the low notes.

The guitar that comes in at 3:18 is cool. But it gets crackly by 3:30.
 
Killer groove man.Im diggin this for sure.....ah yeah....the vocals need to come up in the mix from beginning to end.The vocal range is so low it might be a good idea to double the lead vocal all the way through and blend them to give it some fullness and balls to cut through the mix....the bass,drums and keys are laying in the mix just fine to my ears.

This is a cool song.Bring those vocals up!;)
 
aw... yeah!

The rhoadsy, oh yeah... man, is that ever a groovy bass! 'Tis the 70's again, and it's cool :cool:

Audible pop at 2:21... excellent break at 3:15... that room sound kinda reminds me of Beck... an AM RADIO room sound (and drums) with a nice up front guit.

Still think you should sue Papa Roach for stealin' your avatar for their CD cover :o

Nice toonz :)


Chad
 
very cool tune man, i like it alot!!! agree about low vox, and i also agree with dead poet...i think the key's are a little to dominant(although they sound great) volume issue, and it's helping bury the vox. imho.

groovy tune man!!

peace

rick
 
you guys rock

Thanks for all the ears & info, y'all. Except for 1 or 2 small things, I agree with everything that's been said here and wasn't able to find it on my own. If anything ever comes of the tune (which it won't), I'll list everybody on the credits :)

So, with the long weekend, I'm going to:

1) Redo the vocals completely, and double them (maybe an octave higher in the low parts)

2) Add more backups (choir) at the end

3) Add guitar part(s), re-doing the lead at the end

4) Work out the mix problems with Keys & Vox

5) Add a lead in the middle (hopefully the sax player can make it this weekend)

6) Fix the audible pop at 2:21

Participant: Beck is my HERO! That's an incredible compliment. And I actually ripped off my Avatar from the Musician's friend site, and hacked it up to make the headphones glow. Maybe they'll sue me AND Papa Roach :)

Hope to have an update ready on Tuesday! Thanks again, y'all.
 
man ... you keyboard players and your funky cords ... :rolleyes: ...
I tried to play along with this and .... well at least I know it's in C ... :D
 
I love funky chords. I couldn't even tell you what most of them are - the ol' fingers just flop around 'till it feels right :D

But, yes.. it is in C. :)
 
Like the intro....cool groove.......vocals are too low in the mix...... drums could be just a little more present........harmonies are cool........like the keyboard parts and the bass line too.....nice chord structure......the whole thing could be "hotter"....I really like the syncopated keys...very cool.....guitar should be a little bit up and maybe just a tad more highs on it......ok that's it.
Nice song man.
 
I'm feeling this piece. Well done.

THe keyboard is tight. Nice, catchy melody and good harmony.

Well done.

The only thing is that the vocal recording sounds very demo. THe voice itself sounds good, but its like listening through some kind of veil.

Really enjoyable song though.

May the funk be with you!
 
Seanmorse79 said:
Other than that, I'm not crazy about the vox.
Click to expand...
Why not? Just make that cool "I bet you sound like jackson browne when you sing high" voice louder. There's a raspy quality to your voice at times, and you harmonize with your lead real good.

I hate the song but that's not your fault.

your vocals are great.

MH
 
Lt. Bob: Thankx for the kudos :) I haven't done any mastering yet (more work to do before that), so hopefully a dash of mastering compression (and a more careful mixdown) will make it a bit hotter.

CyanJaguar: Thanks ma brotha :) I recorded the vox with an Oktava MK-219 (which has a reputation for being dark), and the backups have a bit o' chorus. Aside from compression and a hair of EQ, that's all I did to the vox. Do you think the mic could be causing the "veil"?

MelonHead: Thanks for the observations ...and your honesty :)
 
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