First ever song.. need ideas :)

[SpEeDyZ]

Ok so I posted this in another section and someone said I should post this here instead .. so here goes ...

Ok first of all I am no pro in-fact I am just a beginner/intermediate type player and this is the first time I am trying such a thing ... secondly I KNOW that I CANT sing but still I am going to sing this anyways since I think that its the thought that counts ... since its for someone I like ... I dont plan on marketing this or anything .. its just for this one person

Now I know all the basics of guitar playing and some intermediate stuff as well.. I have an acoustic and an electric ( with some distortion pedals ) and stuff so I could add that as well

this is what I have so far ( please excuse the poor quality.. for the actual song once I get all the bits and pieces together Ill use direct line in ( guitar rig ) to record the guitar and a better mic for the vocals ) but for now this should give you an idea of what I have

184.172.155.185/~speedyz/sounds/Untitled%20%289%29.wma
or this
184.172.155.185/~speedyz/sounds/Untitled%20%289%29.mp3
(add the http protocol before the 184 or just copy paste the above into your browser .. sorry for the trouble)
oh yes one more thing this is currently being played with the capo on the 4th fret .. I was just testing around to see which suited my voice better.. I tried it on the 3rd fret also and that sounded much better so I am probably gonna go with that.. but for now this should give you an idea of the tune ...

now basically what I am asking for are suggestions to make the music better.. I know I cant improve on the vocals much ( the lyrics are fine too ) but I can make the music better.. which is what I wanna do and for that I need your help

basically all the chords I am playing currently are in the scale of G Major

I use C Major and E minor for the intro and the verse bit .. then C Major and Am and then for the chorus G major D major and then Cadd9

now I was thinking of adding maybe some licks to make it more interesting ? maybe some power chords for the chorus to make it more powerful or something like that ? I dont have a bass guitar neither do I have a piano .. so I cant add that directly if someone would like to help me with that ( as in record it and the send it to me ) that'll be great ( I have Magix Music Maker 17 so I can put all the bits and pieces together of the song using that ).. perhaps I should add some beats? again I dont have drums but maybe someone could help me with that ?
Maybe I should add a little solo ? I only know the first position of the G Major scale maybe I could learn the remaining 4 positions and then try soloing in those ?

sorry if what I have written above doesnt make much sense .. basically I just need ideas on how to make the music better ? Maybe you can guide me or just show me what to do ...

this is the first time I am doing this so please go easy on me


the lyrics if anyone wants to read those

verse 1-ish
I know she's gonna be so damn pissed
when she hears this

But what can I do .. because somethings seen stolen
Its that thief again

Its that super-duper cute thief
who stole my heart

pre-chorus ish
I dont know why.. but there's GOT to be a reason
that a guy like me starts to sing for you .. because

Chorus
Because baby it feels right
it feels like its supposed to be
Its meant to be

Its seems okaayy
it seems perfect
its meant to be ..

Verse 2
Just to be clear.. I NEVER intended on doing this
its all Urbah's fault

she said I should do it to impress you
but I think she might have been wrong

pre-chorus ish
so now if you decide to never talk to me again
just remember one thing

then the same chorus repeated twice..

the lyrics maybe seem a bit stupid but they have a little story ( a little history ) in them of the whole situation so I think they are fine


Thanks in Advance!
and sorry for wasting your time if you find this to be annoyingly stupid

P.S sorry if this is the wrong section ..for this

ok so I should have recorded it directly from the start because now that I have it sounds a little different .. and not exactly what I want.. it sounds a bit too electronic-ish as in not acoustic enough ..

here's a recording.. I tried added the bass myself...
184.172.155.185/~speedyz/sounds/song.MP3

184.172.155.185/~speedyz/sounds/song.wma

what do you think ?

and if anyone could help me out with adding the base perhaps.. that would be awesome

 

[philter1]

It's forum etiquette for you to provide working links. So: www.soundcloud.com\speedyz\song for example, would be great. Some folks don't have the time (or inclination) to copy and paste links, nor download stuff.
Just a heads up, no offence