Everyone else is doing it...

[Rokket]

Eye catching title, but I mean posting lyrics for all to see. I wrote a song to my daughter when she was born, and I've been picking it up every now and then to play around with it. I'm not much of a lyric writer, and I tend to do stuff that is mostly instrumental, but a bug bit me that day, and here is what I have 3 years later (damn, she's 3? Time flies...)

Daddy's Little Girl (I know, not much originality)
verse 1
When you were born the angels sang
A song of love straight to my heart
I knew that instant all was right
That I first held you in my arms
bridge
A father's love is sometimes hard to see
But I'd shout to the world all you mean to me
chorus
Across the world and seven seas
Daddy's little girl, you'll always be
Search your heart, you'll find it's true
They cannot take my love from you
You've got my heart spun into a whirl
Till the end of time, you're daddy's little girl

verse 2
As you grow so does my heart
It seems I love you more and more
And if the wind should start to rise
I will protect you through that storm

Bridge 2
Lean on me, girl, I'll see you through
You have my love no matter what you do

Repeat Chorus, solo, outro chorus to fade

I wrote it in G, with a feel like the radio edit version of White Snake's "Here I Go Again", and a key change to A after the guitar solo.
Tell me what you think about the lyrics, and I'll post the song when it is finished. Any and all comments will be welcome. If it sucks, it sucks. I sang it to my daughter acoustically and she likes it. She even sings with me now. And to me, that's what really matters. But I feel that there is something missing and maybe you can help me find it? Thanks!

 

[topolino]

white snake rox

Live well with pharmasave

 

[Rokket]

No one else????

I was hoping that someone would at least give me some constructive criticism? Someone? PLEASE???

 

[wakeupbomb]

I think it's very sweet. There's kind of a cliched thing going on to it, but it's not easy to write a song about your daughter (or love in general) without getting a little cheesy and cliched. I liked it though, and would love to hear the recorded version when you get it done.

 

[Henri Devill]

I sang it to my daughter acoustically and she likes it. She even sings with me now. But I feel that there is something missing and maybe you can help me find it? Thanks!

Its fine! After all you said it..
And to me, that's what really matters.
Somethings are better left for what they are..pure..

 

[Rokket]

Thanks for the feedback. I will have the recorded version up in awhile. I am still experimenting with the arrangement, and plus, I am on vacation and away from my "studio". Should I go ahead and pay the 30 bucks to copyright it first? Or is that a question for a different forum? The lyrics are already copyrighted. And I agree it is a bit cliche'd. But it was for her, and I am not a strong lyric writer, as I said.