The bed is pretty good but the melody in verse one is really stilted - probably as a result of the metre and rhyming scheme but the discomfort is clear in the voice.
Really nice performances all round you guys. I agree the snare is a touch too loud as is the acoustic guitar riff at around 1:49, the guitar at 3:06 is a little clunky, but otherwise this is good work as usual.
good to see someone else recognizing how important those are, aside from the melody itself. I haven't heard anyone else refer to "metre" on this forum yet...nice to see.