Critique Song

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Bob's Mods

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Would the honorable members of this board critique my song "The Wanted Man"
at:

http://www.fostex.com/portal/

Search for artist Robert Brown. This is the easiest way to find it.
Let me know what you think of the mix. The song was my attempt at a Steely Dan-ish kinda flavor. Lyrics as follows:

The Wanted Man
In the shadows there are faces there I never see
They look for me
On the way to who knows where I've been to where I go
I only know
In the train yard ahead
A box car is my bed
Now that daylight is gone
[You reap just what you sow]
Many evils that I've done thought buried in the past
Haunt me at last
Now I realize the time has come for me to pay
I'd rather run away
There's a bounty it's said
Placed upon my head
Waiting to be claimed!
{instrumental}
Every city every town's a new identity
They won't capture me
Try to take me in and watch the bullets start to fly
Let me clarify
I'm the wanted man
I'll take a stand
Catch me if you can
[It only goes to show] [You reap just what you sow]

Thanks! Bob the Mod Guy
 
Cool tune. Somewhat bass heavy. Vocals are pretty far forward, I would pull 'em back. I'd like the funk-sounding guitar brighter and a little louder.

As an aside I'm demoing the UAD Roland Space Echo, and man that makes your vocal sound cool :cool:
 
I think it's good enough to go in the MP3 clinic. ;)

Ok, cool song, but needs the rythem section to get it's groove on. Vocs way too fwd, beat hardly present, and midi horns a bit cheezy. It's a bit "band in a box"....very midi sounding. And yah, bring that funky gtr fwd....it's one of the best elements in the song. Good lyrics.
 
What do you mean that the vocals are too forward? Should I reduce the vocal level or stand farther from the mic?

I pulled the guitar back some because it conflicted with the vocal.
 
Yeah, I'm in pretty much agreement with the others. Just to add some detail:

Not only are the lead vocals way too far up front, but the background vocals are a bit too close to the lead vocals as well. For every 1dB you pull back on the leads, I'd pull back about 1.5dB on the backing vocals.

I think you could probably uitilize the soundstage a bit more too. You have some stereo spread happening on some of the drum fills and you are filling the wings with a ton of space verb, but the majority of the energy is bunched up down the middle. You could kill two birds with one stone by (just as an example) swinging that electric keyboard left 20 or 25, pulling that rhythm gituar up and swinging that right 20 or 25, and maybe finally rotating the dry backing vocals a bit left with the keyboard. This will help keep and improve definition as you shorten the front-back range between the hot vocals and the rest of the mix.

G.
 
Bob's Mods said:
What do you mean that the vocals are too forward? Should I reduce the vocal level or stand farther from the mic?

I pulled the guitar back some because it conflicted with the vocal.
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Reduce the level of the vocal track. The quality of the vocal recording sounds fine, it's just unproportionally hot in the mix compared with the rest of the mix.

G.
 
SouthSIDE Glen said:
You could kill two birds with one stone by (just as an example) swinging that electric keyboard left 20 or 25, pulling that rhythm gituar up and swinging that right 20 or 25
Click to expand...

I ain't one to hard pan, but if the rhythm guitar is conflicting with the lead, throw it way far right, just turn it up somehow, it is HOT! :cool:
 
mshilarious said:
I ain't one to hard pan, but if the rhythm guitar is conflicting with the lead, throw it way far right, just turn it up somehow, it is HOT! :cool:
Click to expand...
It's only a matter of taste, but I don't know that I'd hard pan it. That gets real gimicky real fast, IMHO. The song has good enough content in arrangement and lyrics not to need gimicks in the mix.

And even more important, he has so much reverb going on that I'd leave the wide flanks open for the verb.

Just one subjective opinion. :)

G.
 
These are some very helpful comments on the mix. Yeah, I do hear it a tad heavy on the bass. I could pull that back. And I do now hear the vocals a bit hot. I really like vocals to stand out, and my voice is not a great one so I do what I can to project it more. I gather I need to think more in terms of a front to back mix as well as better use of panning and less reverb. One thing I did which effects the instruments was add a -3 dB dip at 3 kHz to help accent the vocals. I'm hung up on letting vocals be very easy to hear and understand. My voice does not project well in a mix. It just doesn't have really good definition. Rick Ocasek does this trick with the -3 dB @ 3 kHz. I may have over done it. Plus this song is an old one I recorded when I began getting deep into this home recording thing. I remixed it on my new monitors so this is a big improvement over the earlier mix. I picked up the new Creative PM5 monitors and love them. A huge improvement for me.
 
I am going to try an make the changes to the mix that were brought up. I think they are dead on. You just don't always see if your own baby is ugly. You get blinded because you are too close to it.
 
Hey Bob,

Your baby ain't ugly, she just needs a little cleaning up and fresh wardrobe is all :).

Nothing at all wrong with having the vocals forward, expecially with the lyrics as strong as they are. You just OD'd it a little bit is all. The vocals should remain in the forefront, just not quite so much as they are in the current mix.

Back them up a bit, pull back the bass just a touch, bring forward the rhy git, and give everyone a place on the pan stage and (with maybe one more round of minor tweaks after that) you're baby will look just dandy.

As far as the git and the voc competing too much, try some sweetening on the guitar and some notch-and-groove EQ to fit the vocals and the git together a bit better.

I wouldn't worry too much about the reverb just yet. I like the feel that it gives the vocal; kind of a sci-fi new wave.

G.
 
I made the suggested changes to the mix and it really improved it. I like it much better. The rythm guitar stands out better now with a slight boost and pan to one side. And the groove of the song stands out as I had over did some of the eq to make the vocal stand out. The vocal fits in the pocket well enough to suit me.

thanks one and all
 
Hey Bob, do you have the updated one at the same URL?

G.
 
Southy,

I would have to download it to that site. They take a number of days before they would make it available again.
 
I downloaded it to that Fostex site. They either are a few days or much longer when it comes to reposting it. If you are interested you'll have to keep checking for its availibility.

thanks
 
Bob's Mods said:
I downloaded it to that Fostex site. They either are a few days or much longer when it comes to reposting it. If you are interested you'll have to keep checking for its availibility.

thanks
Click to expand...
Coolness. I'm just interested in hearing the new and improved mix. I'll check back on Monday or so.

G.
 
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