it's very possible you are being a jerk? sometimes the little imperfections are what makes a record sound good.
however i've also had similar situations where i've flipped out over recordings and stuff and refused to let them go to the label/pressing plant and it's caused some problems.
it all depends. are your problems like actual mistakes in the recording (ie you guys haven't rehearsed enough and after 20 takes your bassist can't play a certain part without fucking up), or do you just find the overall sound sucks ass and it's part of the recording studios fault?
in the case of the latter, it's really a matter of finding a good studio. i find that when you go to a studio and bring CDs of other bands who's sound you like, it really does nothing. i've had engineers tell me to bring in examples of drum sound i love, and they'll listen to it and nod their head and listen to me talk about how i want the drums to sound, but it definitely doesn't seem to influence what they're doing at all.
i would reccomend finding some records that have a good sound and then finding the studio it was recorded at and looking into that as an option. obviously if you're looking at records by pop artists and shit it'll be well out of your price range, but a lot of fairly famous engineers aren't overly expensive. (like $10,000 range and less).
matt bayles on the west coast does a lot of good work. he did stuff for botch, pretty girls make graves, isis, blood brothers, kill sadie, as well as some bigger bands like pearl jam. i love the space in his recordings. he's a really fun dude in generally.
on east coast, i'm a huge fan of god city studios. kurt ballou has put out stuff for his own band (converge) as well as cave in, and numerous other bands. he's also a great guy, and his rates can go extremely low.
the last couple of records i've been very impressed with was icarus by the forms, which was recording by albini and definitely one of his better works.. he cuts really good deals for bands that put out their own record, and it's not as hard as you'd think to record with him.
inner ear studios seems to be really coming together nicely, and a lot of the later releases from that studio impress me with their clarity. salad days, too.
i don't know where the latest majority rule record was recorded, but i fucking love it. everything is so thick and precise and heavy but in a good way.
i also love the recording for the neil perry/a days refrain split, which was apparently recorded in an apartment in boston or something. i'm not sure on that.
