Chameleon

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jeff5xo

jeff5xo

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I'd appreciate any feedback, constructive criticism. Thanks!

Chameleon

You've changed your colors on me again
I hate the way you just blend in
Ashamed to show the fear inside
Behind your smile is where you hide

pre:
All alone your crying out for someone

Chorus:
Chameleon
will you find your place
will you let me in, can I see your face
When the colors fade
And the truth shines down
I will hide your pain
My Chameleon

It's falling on you once again
The sadness blue is creeping in
So here you go with the disguise
But you can't camoflauge your eyes

pre and chorus




This is a rock song, kind of in the Breaking Benjamins vein.
 
I like it! Interesting approach to what could be cliche' subjct matter.

Almost every subject has been addressed in song, so I always like to see someone approach it from a different direction.

My only "negative" comment - the line "sadness blue is creeping in" seems a little forced, like you're trying to to get that last verse to finish the story, but you couldn't find something better. I like the rest of that verse - but that second line, just didn't seem right.

I often find the first verse and chous come easier - but I have to really work to make the last verse hold its own.
 
Thanks Mike. Your'e right about that line, I just can't come up with anything better for it. I don't know that it's "forced" as much as I couldn't think of a different way to describe the feeling of hiding depression. Does that make sense? Thank you so much for commenting Mike, I'm definately open for suggestions about that line, or any other ones.
 
What About this for the second verse.

It's falling on you once again
The loneliness is creeping in
So here you go with the disguise
But you can't camoflauge your eyes

Does that sound better. It's alot plainer, but I like it. What do you think?
 
I prefer loneliness to sadness blue - I agree it may be "plainer" but often simple is better.
 
sadness blue, etc...

I gotta disagree to an extent. I like the "blue" line. To me, it fits in with the chameleon, color change theme. Just a different perspective, for what it's worth.
 
I gotta go with Dingo... I like the blue line too.... Maybe if you reversed it to blue sadness, or is that too cliche'd? Anyway, maybe change the word sadness to sorrow, or misery? Just my thoughts....
 
I was on the fence about the sadness blue is creeping in part, but I do agree with Mike. It didn't feel right. The word that bothers me in the sentence is "sadness". I don't think misery, or sorrow blue would fit either, but I sure do appreciate the input. If anyone has any other suggestions about that line, or any of them for that matter, please don't hesitate to respond. My band hasn't recorded the song yet. We're scheduled in my studio for late January.
 
I prefer using the blue reference if you can. What about reworking the line a bit to "The blues of sadness creeping in". Just a thought.
 
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