Broken Life - a collab with Chris

[joeym]

My friend Chris Frehse wrote and recorded this track some time ago and I wrote the lyrics and sang on it. Chris is an amazing 80's style guitar player and I love to work with him. This is still rough in some places, I'm not completely happy with some vocal parts. We'd really like to know what you think of it.

Cheers
Joey

 

[rayc]

I come down on the side of reducing string noise as the build up is slightly derailed by the noise - it's not too bad & certainly doesn't squeak.
I little more definition for the bass as it's following the riff pretty closely in some parts. It's fine in the chorus but needs something elsewhere.
I'm not sure the shredding between phrases (2.30 +)works all that well - doesn't seem to sit in the mix.
I like the bvox mate - well done as they support your high notes well.
Def a VERY solid guitar attack.
The bass drum seems a little lost & may need something.
Good work Chris & Joey - this will be a monster.

 

[joeym]

I come down on the side of reducing string noise as the build up is slightly derailed by the noise - it's not too bad & certainly doesn't squeak.
I little more definition for the bass as it's following the riff pretty closely in some parts. It's fine in the chorus but needs something elsewhere.
I'm not sure the shredding between phrases (2.30 +)works all that well - doesn't seem to sit in the mix.
I like the bvox mate - well done as they support your high notes well.
Def a VERY solid guitar attack.
The bass drum seems a little lost & may need something.
Good work Chris & Joey - this will be a monster.

Thanx Ray, those are all good points. Chris uses Guitar Rig 3 for his recordings. There's still plenty of hiss on the track, but that can be fixed. I think the drum samples could be better too. Still a work in progress....

 

[ido1957]

thoughts as I listen....

Redo the intro vocals....
BG vocals at times sound louder than lead...but well arranged. I can't hit your highs but I may steal your intervals....
After the intro your sig vocals shine, that high part is unbelievable...
The guitars are incredibly good for GR (i.e. ampless) playing is perfect.
I'm okay with bass and drums sound good to my inexperienced ears.
I like the noodling (sorry Ray)....typical though for a guit player.

Great job so far - pretty close to done...

 

[joeym]

thoughts as I listen....

Redo the intro vocals....
BG vocals at times sound louder than lead...but well arranged. I can't hit your highs but I may steal your intervals....
After the intro your sig vocals shine, that high part is unbelievable...
The guitars are incredibly good for GR (i.e. ampless) playing is perfect.
I'm okay with bass and drums sound good to my inexperienced ears.
I like the noodling (sorry Ray)....typical though for a guit player.

Great job so far - pretty close to done...

Will do, Gerry. Some vocal parts have to be fixed or I'll just sing the whole thing again. Chris got a bit carried away with the BG vocals, I guess...
I really dig Chris's guitar virtuosity, too....

 

[ido1957]

Will do, Gerry. Some vocal parts have to be fixed or I'll just sing the whole thing again. Chris got a bit carried away with the BG vocals, I guess...
I really dig Chris's guitar virtuosity, too....

BG vocals are good - just automate them a little.....

 

[ocnor]

To me it sounded as if you were uncomfortable singing those vocal melodies. The chorus melody sounds especially out of place. I know that you can sing much better than that because I've heard you do it before.

 

[joeym]

To me it sounded as if you were uncomfortable singing those vocal melodies. The chorus melody sounds especially out of place. I know that you can sing much better than that because I've heard you do it before.

Yeah, all it needs is to be a half tone deeper. The vocals were done too fast anyway, I gotta take my time doing them. Thanx for the comments!

 

[Anfontan]

Nice Joey, reminds me of Soundgarden, with a touch of Alice in Chains too!
The intro & choruses sound a bit off-might very well be voice fatigue. But you stated it was a very fastly done-regardless it still is very good!

 

[FoulPhil]

I'm not sure the vocals are all singing in key during the chorus. Something sounds to be out of tune or something.

 

[joeym]

Nice Joey, reminds me of Soundgarden, with a touch of Alice in Chains too!
The intro & choruses sound a bit off-might very well be voice fatigue. But you stated it was a very fastly done-regardless it still is very good!

Thanx Tony,
yep, they're a thorn in my side and I'll have to fix them.

 

[joeym]

I'm not sure the vocals are all singing in key during the chorus. Something sounds to be out of tune or something.

Yeah, I don't like them either and you guys have confirmed it for me.
I'll be singing it again, Phil, thanx for commenting.

 

[maximusbs]

To me it sounded as if you were uncomfortable singing those vocal melodies. The chorus melody sounds especially out of place. I know that you can sing much better than that because I've heard you do it before.

+1

I think there might be a bit too much distortion on the guitar. I hate to say that, but I was having trouble hearing the chords and notes and following the progressions. It might be why you were having trouble in the chorus. When you re-track the vox, maybe try a cleaner guitar in the cans to sing to. The performances were great and your voice carries the song. I was hoping for a little stronger hook, but at least your voice makes an ok song great.

 

[Llarion]

My friend Chris Frehse wrote and recorded this track some time ago and I wrote the lyrics and sang on it. Chris is an amazing 80's style guitar player and I love to work with him. This is still rough in some places, I'm not completely happy with some vocal parts. We'd really like to know what you think of it.

Cheers
Joey

You have a big, powerful voice... Great tone. If I might suggest that you reel in the intensity of your vibrato a bit, it's edging past mere vibrato and a smidge into pitchiness... That said, I'd kill for your range. Guitar work is exceptional. I don't mind the string squeak, personally; it lends "period authenticity", it you will, though I think that first quitar is a little "honky" in the upper mids. When the other guitars get in, that goes away. On the drum samples, the cymbals are EQed a bit harshly, so as to be a bit sibilant... I'd have the kick be more prominent, and some low end on the snare, give it a little more fullness/presence.

Cool tune, very enjoyable performances!!!

 

[PoeticIntensity]

Great tune, Joey!

The more I listened to this, the more I'm thinking the guitars are a tad bit too mid-rangey. They don't sound bad at all, but they take a lot of space, and are mixed quite high. They cover a lot of the vocals and drums. If I were to mix it, I'd take out no more than 2db of a 1000-3.5K band out of the guitars (just guessing on the freqs... I'd mess around a lot with the bands and figure out where the guitars are stepping on the vocals / drums, but I wouldn't take much out... Just give the other instruments a bit more breathing room)

Fantastic song! Thanks for sharing!

 

[Bulls Hit]

For me this doesn't start to kick until 1.30, where the vocals and the guitars really come together. I went back and listened to the start again to see why and I'm not sure but they don't gel together as well in the first verse. I really like the bridge part at 2.26. I think if you made the drums plainer in the rest of the song and left the fills for the bridge they would have more impact. Nice vocals!

 

[joeym]

+1

I think there might be a bit too much distortion on the guitar. I hate to say that, but I was having trouble hearing the chords and notes and following the progressions. It might be why you were having trouble in the chorus. When you re-track the vox, maybe try a cleaner guitar in the cans to sing to. The performances were great and your voice carries the song. I was hoping for a little stronger hook, but at least your voice makes an ok song great.

Thnax Brad, I find there's an excessive aggressiveness in the guitars too. Oh well, a guitar player mixed it.....
I usually have the backing tracks pretty low in the cans when I record my voice, but I must have gotten carried away with this one....

 

[joeym]

You have a big, powerful voice... Great tone. If I might suggest that you reel in the intensity of your vibrato a bit, it's edging past mere vibrato and a smidge into pitchiness... That said, I'd kill for your range. Guitar work is exceptional. I don't mind the string squeak, personally; it lends "period authenticity", it you will, though I think that first quitar is a little "honky" in the upper mids. When the other guitars get in, that goes away. On the drum samples, the cymbals are EQed a bit harshly, so as to be a bit sibilant... I'd have the kick be more prominent, and some low end on the snare, give it a little more fullness/presence.

Cool tune, very enjoyable performances!!!

Thanx for the comments, Llarion!
Yes the vibrato might be a touch too much here. But I'll be singing the whole thing again, anyway.

 

[joeym]

Great tune, Joey!

The more I listened to this, the more I'm thinking the guitars are a tad bit too mid-rangey. They don't sound bad at all, but they take a lot of space, and are mixed quite high. They cover a lot of the vocals and drums. If I were to mix it, I'd take out no more than 2db of a 1000-3.5K band out of the guitars (just guessing on the freqs... I'd mess around a lot with the bands and figure out where the guitars are stepping on the vocals / drums, but I wouldn't take much out... Just give the other instruments a bit more breathing room)

Fantastic song! Thanks for sharing!

Thanx for the great comments Jason.
I feel there's still a lot to fix in this one. It lacks the balancethat would make it properly listenable. Me and Chris will have to wotk at it some more.

 

[joeym]

For me this doesn't start to kick until 1.30, where the vocals and the guitars really come together. I went back and listened to the start again to see why and I'm not sure but they don't gel together as well in the first verse. I really like the bridge part at 2.26. I think if you made the drums plainer in the rest of the song and left the fills for the bridge they would have more impact. Nice vocals!

Thanx BH!
Is it the guitars that don't gel in the intro or guitars/vocals, do you think?