Brick by Brick

  • Thread starter Thread starter PDP
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I'd do away with that synth, it sounds off-key and...well...horrible. That would strengthen the verses simply by it's absence.

Vocals sound too reverbed.

The doubled vocals in the verse just sound strange especially with the heavy reverb.

The hook is strong but you sort of just throw it in with no support, no build up. Construct a stronger chorus around it. It's just there and then it's gone. I'd do away with the falsetto backup vocals during the hook too, they sound way too high. Go lower instead of higher.

I'm trying to listen back to give you more thoughts but that synth is just too annoying.
 
No offense here, but are you trying to be weird with this? I mean you have one hell of a catchy chorus, but there's just so much weirdness going on with the strange bgvx, "Casio" keyboard sounds, and the way you recorded the vocals in general. It sounds like you did this whole thing on your keyboard sequencer. If you have the tools, get some normal/commercial sounding instruments in there and rework this thing and you'll have a pretty decent pop song here.
:)
 
Thanks no offense at all. It is just weird. The Keyboards are from Halion 1 which is pretty disapointing. Overall I may just scrap it, or completely re-do it. Still people seem to hate my synth selections. I have two new programs on order. Thanks for the replies and taking the time to listen.
 
PDP said:
How could I do that? What would you do?
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Well, the "brick by brick" part you've got already is really strong but like I said, it sort of just appears out of nowhere and it's gone. The verses don't lead into it at all, it just comes out of nowhere (perhaps the lyrical connection is there but I honestly can't hear much of the lyric in the verses)

Keep the melody you have with "brick by brick" but give the chorus more substance with lines that either lead up to or out of that hook (or both). Add lines between the "brick by brick" lines with a bit of a refrain from that melodic idea.

If I had a better idea of what you were trying to tell us with the song I could give you lyrical ideas, but you're talking about building your soul brick by brick, why not expand on that idea? What do the bricks represent? Walls? Foundation?
 
This is cheese to the extreme. What decade is it anyway? :D

Yeah those synth sound are atrocious, but they work for the song. I'd up the campiness and go full-on batshit crazy with the weirdness. Have fun with it.
 
G's right...this deserves ultra weirdness...the contrast between the verses and chorus is its strength...it really gives it a contrast...from rather odd to full on smiles...great chorus btw


the synth is weak, but for some reason I still hear something similar, like a mellotron sample (maybe left out the first verse)...add a few more layers or even some extreme panned sound FX just to catch people of guard then into the bouncy chorus??

would be a win imho

I also thought some of the transitions going into the end could have done with a little work, as they seemed a little staccato, perhaps some automated short verbs or delays to create some overlap or make a riser using the main synth and just reverse it and add it to the end of the bars?? dunno


the singing's great...and i hate constantly referring to hearing influences, but this has a TV on the Radio vibe about it that I likey...really nice one :)
 
Thanks,

I think its gonna get scrapped, too much not working with it. My processor was choking trying to run this thing. (Just ordered a Quad) Glad u like it KC.
 
a change of synth and some tweaks mean its not working?


dude this has great potential why would you scrap it??? :eek:
 
PDP said:
Oh well, on to the next one.
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Lol. Being cheesey and dated isn't always a bad thing. If you didn't intend for it to be cheesey, then I'm sorry. But it is cheesey, and it can be cheesey in a good way.
 
i think Pete forgets that anything outside the who, ramones, and surf music is cheesy for you :D

i agree with G, turn up the camembert! then global domination PDP! :)
 
Greg_L said:
Lol. Being cheesey and dated isn't always a bad thing. If you didn't intend for it to be cheesey, then I'm sorry. But it is cheesey, and it can be cheesey in a good way.
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Thats OK Greg, Thanks, Do you mean the lyrics, like I'm trying to be serious, and it comes off cheesy? LOL. Hey, I just cant play cookie cutter Ya know. I'd rather take the risk and fail, the challenge is to be different yet commercial, IMHO. Thanks for listening, and giving your honest opinion.
 
PDP said:
Thats OK Greg, Thanks, Do you mean the lyrics, like I'm trying to be serious, and it comes off cheesy? LOL. Hey, I just cant play cookie cutter Ya know. I'd rather take the risk and fail, the challenge is to be different yet commercial, IMHO. Thanks for listening, and giving your honest opinion.
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Honestly, I pay no attention to lyrics. Ever. I listen to delivery, melody, performance, and how vocals sit in a mix, but I have no idea what you're saying, nor do I care. Lyrics mean nothing to me. So in that regard, I can't answer your question about the lyrics.

I meant cheesey as in the song, as a whole, has a mid 80's after-school special feel to it. I'm a unpologetic product of the 80's, so I can identify these things. Again, that's not say it's necessarily a bad thing. Look at someone like Beck. He's made a very nice career out of being kind of cheesey while still being serious. Me saying your song is cheesey is just one opinion. If you don't feel that way, then blow me off. I honestly don't mind. Or, like I suggested, you could try ramping up the ridiculousness even more. More synths, more effects, more everything. Make it so over the top cheesey that it's awesome. It can be done.
 
Greg_L said:
I meant cheesey as in the song, as a whole, has a mid 80's after-school special feel to it. .
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HAHAHA,
Ok well now I know what u meant about the decade! Yeah if I go back to it, I think going more towards weird/bizzare would be the thing. Making it Popularly Correct, would mean so many changes I might as well write something new.
 
It is pretty silly and it just doesn't sit well. Seems like things fluctuate a little too much. It's not completely bad sounding, but I think it could use a little re-thinking, but I wouldn't waste too much time on it. Just tweak it till your happy and move on. If you really like the song in a few years re-record it.
 
kcearl said:
a change of synth and some tweaks mean its not working?


dude this has great potential why would you scrap it??? :eek:
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Thanks Keith,

I've ordered NI Komplete 7 elements, and the new Trilliam bass module for some updated sounds. I may go back to it. It seems making anything with Cubase Halion one is gonna draw the same (bad) opinions. I agree there's something there, Thanks for the support.
 
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