Blue eyes

groovejunkie

groovejunkie

New member
..how could it be else.. it's about and for a woman..best inspiration ever... the lyrics seemed to be already written.. :):)

I came back from this amazing date an wrote this in the last few hours, so don't expect too much...well.. mybe I shouldn't post this shit...I'm too fuckin drunk hehe - I'm gonna regret this tomorrow..

anyway, FORGET ABOUT THAT GUIT SOLO! - it's just an idea how it should be..

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=2240&alid=649

"Blue eyes"
 
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groovejunkie,

Good pop tune you have there! I like the natural unprocessed sound you have on this track. The performance is pretty solid throughout the track. Even the guitar solo sounded competent.

Mix issues;

The drums, (real ones! :) ) sounded very good but the levels of the cymbals sounded a little loud in the mix compared to the snare.

The bass sounded a bit muddy but I could hear it all the way through and that is no small accomplishment from what I heard in general around here.

The vocals sounded smooth and well Sung but, I was having a little bit of difficulty understanding all the words on the first pass.

I know a lot of people freak out about that kind of thing here, like we are singing out the formula for building a nuclear bomb and every word must be understood!! In reality, most pop songs don't cover serious enough topics and stories that demand we as listeners drop everything we are doing and follow the story, word for word.

I don't mean to rant or to down-play the importance of what you in particular wrote. I just mean in general. Sorry for the tangent.

Overall, I liked the track and the quality work you put into performing it and recording it!

Nice Job! :)
 
groovejunkie!!!!

How y'all doin?
I felt a certain majesty in this song.
The tune stands WELL on it's own, you NEED and ending......
Just something to wrap it all up.
Very well done friend, a nice unique song all by itself.

Dan
 
Cool tune!

Vocals were great,nice guitar tone and playing.
Drums mabey a little too loud.

Very good melody and hook.

I really like it!

Pete
 
Some good singing and all around not to bad for being ripped. Hey you captured the moment and thats what counts. The good stuff comes when she shatteres your heart and your bank account-lol Damn your timing on the drums is better than the last drummer I fired and he was sober :confused: You want to do some drum tracks for me???
Myx
 
Holy Hell...I like your voice a LOT. I also like this song a lot. Man, we have to tame the low end some to let that melodic guitar counter stuff come through...I'm sure when that's done, there'll be other stuff that'll pop up, but do NOT quit on this tune yet, lol.

I'm hearing soooaaarriingg harmonies on this, but I tend to hear those on everything and to overdo them anyway...but sheesus, nice vocal.

chris w/ guernica's 5 :D
(this 5 is for the tune and performance...which is ninety per cent of the game to me, anyway...mix needs some work).
 
If you wanna' work on the ending any (and I agree, it needs something), I got an idea from looping it. It sounds pretty cool when it drops out at the end totally, and then starts over again, so maybe just take the Cold Play route and do the first verse over again and fade out by doing 2 choruses...or one chorus and a guitar outro over the chorus music...PHUCK, I really like this man.
 
Thank you guys!

The Ghost of FM - you're right with the bass - I have to compress it a tad - also the cymbals are too loud but these are not real drums (I've programmed them, and the samples come from GrooveAgent) ; about the lyrics, I thought they are really understandable...

VERSE:
I saw you the first time
and you smiled at me
I turned my head away
cos I couldn't believe

that I'm such a lucky man
that it happens to me
and then I realized
that your smiling at me

CHORUS:
I was surprised
you let me in
to make one step
into your life
I was surprised
you let me in

VERSE:
and then I smiled you back
suddenly I saw your eyes
the most beautiful blue
I've seen in my life

I couldn't make one step
I was like hypnotised
I could just read the words
that I saw in your eyes


-- thanks mucho for listening

HevyD47Ca - thanks Dan! you know, I'm so bad in endings - thats why all my songs have terrible edits! glad you liked it!

muzeman - thanks Pete, I'm always glad when you listen!

Myx62 - hey Myx, I'm over 30 now, and I didn't learn anything from my mistakes made with woman.. but hell - that's life :) :) - of course, if ya need a special drum-loop, I can programm one for ya! cheers& thx for listening!

chrisharris - ...now we have something in common Chris - cos I like your voice a lot too! especially in your last song "NO" - F*****G AWESOME!
thanks for your 5 stars - means a lot for me when it comes from you :) :) :) - the idea with the ending sounds cool -I'm gonna try that out!
thanks Chris!
 
Since this seems to be more like a "demo of a demo" I won't make many mix comments. It sounds like it's more like a work in progress.

I think the general tone of the guitar will work well on this. I think you'll probably want a bigger thump to the bass.

You have a nice singing voice. I thought musically the song was really nice. Real good melody. The guitar accented the song very well - very good part, don't change a note :D.

Lyrically I always prefer things that are different from things I've heard before and spark my interest. If I find myself wanting to hear what the next line is, I consider that a good song. This was more, "I can't believe it, you're so beautiful" stuff I've heard quite a bit. Sorry, but to me musically it's just a much better song than it is lyrically.

To me you have a good enough concept, but need to put more work into the words.

My thoughts.
 
I think you need an intro too. LOL. You kind of came in before I could even grasp what was going on. Maybe a little something to pull us in before you give us those cool vocals. I like your voice. Fits nicely for this song. Maybe the intro could be related to the needed ending. ;) :)

Cool song. Just some things to tidy up. Worth the effort for sure. You have a hook there for sure.

Cymbals seem a little loud and maybe panned a little too wide. Bass tone is good but needs some definition.

Good guitars. Solo even works as is (just a little clean up). Rhythm falls apart a little in that part.

Get back to work on this because it's worth it. I could here an a capella ending on a line or two. Or maybe with just drums or drums and bass. With maybe the tempo slowing and slowing till it drops off. Just thoughts.

Nice work.
 
Hey gj,
Nice tune here man. Definitely a nice melody thing youve got going on. The first thing that stuck out to me (nits) was the ride cymbal. To me it sounds a touch too loud and clanky. I like the bell ring idea, maybe just not quite that sound in particular (preference of course). ...there's lots of room for bg vocs in this, and a million things you could do with them. I like the sound of your voice, ...maybe a little bg experimentation to fill out the tune even more.

Nice stuff!
g
 
Nice song! I agree with whoever said the low end could use a little tightening up. I could definitely do with the guitars slowly building throughout this tune and getting heavier. Also, some harmonies would work great.

Really nice tune. Great singing. And I even like the guitar solo, although it's a little low in the mix.

Chris
 
groo-VAH chun-KI san...

You're Finnish? Or Swedish, right? Your accent sounds a lot like CrankyOne's, that's all. :)

Pretty good recording you have here. And a good composition.

The drums have a lot of "space" or room sound on them, but it doesn't detract too much. Good pop song. Nice vocal tones... technically good... with even more emotion, it could really kick ass.

Would like some more "belly" in the bass (deeper tones)... the upper freq's are there on the bass... it would drive better with some good 100-130Hz meat.

Snare has good crack... those cymbals/splashes probably have too much reverb sound on them...

How about some backups... like 'aaaaaaaaah' and 'I waaaas surpriiiiiiiiiiiiised'.... ??

Thumbs up :)


C
 
I wrote a love song once..

she said it sounded scary...

I said nevermind..

we broke up shortly after..

I've yet to write another..
 
Ich begruesse dich!
First of all THAT's an avatar!

Ok now to the music -
You are certainly more capable than I at making music while intoxicated! That cymbal and the guit solo are the only tell-tale moments. Both are quick fixes, though. The solo is nicely written, just played a little out of kilter. Perhaps Weihen-Stephan Weizen?
The tune is awesome! Amazing what some feminine inspiration can do! I echo some of the comments mentioned before - this screams for harmony background vocals!! And it's a perfect tune for the build-up teatment - a little intro and then slowly building throughout the duration of the tune.

By the way - it's nice to have other people in this group from the same time zone. Bist du Amerikaner oder Deutscher oder was anderes? Bitte, PM schicken wenn du willst. (Can't let Pedullist have all the multi-lingual fun!!)

A-plus-plus all the way around - like it a lot!!
Milan
 
That girl musta pushed your on button. Real smooth ride all the way thru. Got the structure for building as you go on up to the end. the levels could be adjusted a little to even the drums up in a couple of spots. tracking pretty good on all the parts. That dry cymbal sticks out a bit. I could use a bit more bass here. Nice writing and singing.
 
B.SABBATH said:
I wrote a love song once..

she said it sounded scary...

I said nevermind..

we broke up shortly after..

I've yet to write another..
Click to expand...

That was really damn funny.
 
Nice piece

I like your voice, but I think you need to "cut loose" a little with it. I think you have more to give emotionally with your voice. They playing is nice, good drums(maybe a touch hot). The bass is muddy.

Ok were at the solo now--could be tighter.
My, the ending is abrupt, but you knew that

:D

Nice song.
 
Sounds good man. I'm gagging on the lyrics though (not that mine are any better!). LOL! Guess I gotta fall in love again and give it another listen. :)

You have a real nice voice.
 
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