Beautiful

[stuckatwork]

Hey,
I wrote and recorded this tune in my bedroom and my band decided to redo it for real on our CD. Can anyone give me any tips on what I could do to make this song better or how it should be mixed differently on the CD? Maybe some suggestions lyric wise?

Thanks!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/kicked_music.htm

 

[Kramer]

Cool tune.I've heard this tune on this board(or was it another one?).Do you have it up on NOwhereradio?I heard it somewhere in the last month or so.I liked it then and I like it now.It's got a nice hook to it and it sounds like something that would be on alternative/Pop radio.

 

[boydrj]

This song has a some good pop sensibilities to it. It has a radio friendly manner to it.

Nice playing throughout. The one thing I noticed was going into the chorus (right around 0:58 the first time), the vocals sounded like they could use a bit of a boost. They kind of get overpowered a bit by the guitars. Maybe a bit of eq'ing could do the trick.

I like the drum sound you got on this and the guitars are recorded well!

Nice job overall!

 

[theron]

As far as lyrics go, maybe you could post them here so they are "in your face". I kinda sounded like an "attraction worship song" which is fine but, you could get more creative with your message.

I totally loved the vocals!! Wish I had a singing voice close to that.

The mix and recording is damn good. Perhaps, when you bring it to the band, you could flesh out the arrangment and give it a twist and solo or two. A twice visited intstrumental bridge would break things up and let the git or bass shine some.

Just some small thoughts from a small mind pool.


Peace,

Theron.

 

[B.SABBATH]

good tune.. nice guitar sound.. I dont really have any other suggestions other than what was already mentioned.. I thought the mix and recording was good.. Maybe a solo would spice it up.. maybe raise the drums a hair.. nice job


sam

 

[stuckatwork]

Kramer: Thanks, this is the first time I've showed this song to anyone besides my band! I hope somebody didn't steal it!

boydrj: Thanks as well, that funny about the chours, I didn't use a de-esser on the vocals there and the aren't as compressed. I kind of liked the change of tone but I guess that doesn't translate well outside my stereo. The drum sound I used was a set of samples I got of the internet. I took me forever to find them and if anyone's interested let me know and I'll send them to you. We got a KILLER drum tone layed down with our drummer for the CD. I can't wait to see how much better it's going to tun out! The guitar were played through my fender twin in the corner of my bedroom. Came out pretty heavy sounding for an open back cab.

theron: I'm really worried about the lyrics too. The message was supposed to be how a guy who doesn't know or personally like a certain girl but would fall over backwards for them just because they look good. I'll post the lyrics here in a few and see what you think. I'm not really too excited about them as is. Girls I've showed it too seem to dig the "you're beautiful" part, might help to sell some CD's. Thanks about the voice. I just got my SP C1(my secret weapon). Much better then singing through a 57, but I don't think I'll ever be happy with the sound. Guess that's what it take to drive improvement... I though the same thing about a solo. Got a lead line worked out for the beginning after the first 4 bars and again in the middle

B.SABBATH: Thanks again!!! Unfortunatly this is the final mix. I lost all the tracks do to a little mishap with cubase and the tempo meter and the save button. I thought the drums needed to be up a tad as well, but oh well... My band bought 2 80 gig harddrives to do daily backups of all our songs so stuff like this NEVER happens again!.

 

[stuckatwork]

Lyrics

I look at you,
I know that you're no better,
Under this mask,
It's all you have,
And all you ever will be,

But when you breathe,
I'll be there to give you air,
And if you call me,
I'll be the first one there,

(chorus)

The taste of your lips,
Bitter with the sting of your tounge,
Inside you head,
The games you've played,
And all the mess that you've made,

But when you speak,
I'll be the first to listen,
And when you fall down,
I'll pick up everything you've left,

(chorus)

Bridge:
And why don't you,
Notice,
Notice who I am?

 

[erichenryus]

sounds like a radio hit to me. maybe bring up the harmonies a little? your voice is perfect.

 

[clay]

Hey Stuck, I think your mix was good. I liked the panning of the strong guitar to the left. Vocals were good too but the harmonies were almost non-existent through my computer speakers. Good job.

 

[stuckatwork]

Thanks erichenryus and clay. The harmony's are definatley going to be mixed louder in the final production. i'm still learning how to mix them in so they sound right with out being too prevalent. They are pretty loud on my monitors. Maybe I need to compress them more? Do guys think the main vocal level is about right?

 

[clay]

Just my opinion, but I think you nailed the lead vocal. Wouldn't change it.

 

[erichenryus]

lead vocal sounded perfect to me.

not sure about compressing the bgv's. certainly do it if the level is real inconsitent but it just sounded to me like they should come up, that's all. try doubling them, panning the resulting stereo tracks left and right(not all the way but about 85%-95%), then adding a touch of really short delay to one side.

anyone else have tips on how to do bgv's?

 

[stuckatwork]

Thanks so much clay and erichenryus! That's so cool you guys dig the vocals. Yeah, if anyone's got some tips on hw to do backing vocals let me know. I could never get them to sound right. The backing vocals on the chorus are doubled and panned, must be too low to tell. They came out too thick, even when I EQed them. Wish I would've recorded them over with a 58 but alas, losing all your tracks when you're about finished with a song is what digital recording is all about, right?

 

[fenderlikingood]

damn!!!

linkee no workee no more. i can't get to the site man.
maybe it's on my end??

i'll try later.

peace

rick

 

[Lt. Bob]

Very professional sounding song to me. Well written and recorded. The bkgrnd vocals really need to come up. The rest of it is good so I don't have a lot to say except nice work!

 

[Fangar]

LT BOB. took the words out of my mouth. Sounds great. nice tune and a very professional recording / mix. Thanks.

Fangar

 

[neirbo]

Great song and great mix. Sounds like its ready for radio play. My only comment is that I couldn't hear the kick drum. Granted, I'm listening on crappy headphones with limited bass, but I think the kick could come up. The other drums could also come up a hair.