B
boomtap
New member
I think this falls under recording techniques... How do you deal with bands that you are recording that:
A. Can't hear anything anymore because they have blown their ears out with 400 12" cabs stacked on top of one another in a 300 sq foot club, yet they insist on adding highs to the guitars.
B. Can't hear anything, but they know for sure that they do not hear enough kick drum, I mean every kick drum should sound like a Honda in east LA right.
C. You turn on the click track and they attempt to play to it and the song becomes a train wreck then they say "using a click is like putting our music in a box" so you turn off the click and then the song fluctuates so much that when the song is release people laugh at them, and they say "we had a crappy engineer"
D. Think they are the most awesome rock band in the world, and when they finally hear what they sound like, they blame you, after all as an engineer, you write lyrics, get huge guitar sounds out of 10" crate practice amps, and can fix all vocals in post right.
E. Think that there next job is to be a producer, because they really like working with and listening to music.
F. Have decided that you don't really need a sound engineer, or a producer, you just need the bass player to mix the album.
G. Decide that the reason the album stinks is because of the mastering even though they do not even understand what mastering is or what it does.
H. Decide that they will mix the album on their own, and when they do people laugh, and they say it was you that mixed it.
I. They want more bass you pretend to move a knob that controls the talk back mic, and they say...little more...little more...perfect.
J. The want Metallica's guitar sound, but they would like to use their $50 distortion pedal. You tell them about using a plug in for the guitar sound and they give you a dissertation on the benefits of analog.
K. Want to use the biggest fanciest most expensive mic in the studio so they can tell their friends that they did.
L. Think that using a 57 on the guitar cab is so 1980's
M. Want to touch the soundboard.
N. Drink in the studio.
O. Bring everybody they know into the studio, to see them perform, and you end up cleaning butt prints off the glass from the mix room to the studio from the casual moonings.
P. Touch the grand piano, and play chopsticks.
Q. Want you to run their mix through ever piece of outboard gear in the studio so they can watch the meters move.
R. Want to scream into your expensive mics, from 1" away.
S. Bring in a drum set that has toms from 3 different kits painted with spray paint 4 times, with stars, and shapes, concave heads, and cracked cymbals, a feather pillow in the kick and then say how come my drums don't sound like the drums on ________ album.
T. Have wrestling matches in the main space of the A studio next to a crop of 30 mics.
U. Have an friend or relative who knows everything there is about being in a band, because he played in one in 1976 in college, and he is going to be there to make sure you get the " sound they want". Then the recording tones sound right out of 1969, and they all blame you.
V. Have a tight budget but and want to record using a 15 piece pearl kit with 2 kicks (which they want exactly the same). It can't take that long to throw up 25 mics, and sound check right?
W. Have never played on time in their life.
X. Get a decent take from a bad player and spend 4 hours trying to improve on it only to realize that the first take was the best he can do.
Y. Don't know what song they are going to play when they arrive at the studio.
Z. Think Reverb covers Bad Vocals.
A. Can't hear anything anymore because they have blown their ears out with 400 12" cabs stacked on top of one another in a 300 sq foot club, yet they insist on adding highs to the guitars.
B. Can't hear anything, but they know for sure that they do not hear enough kick drum, I mean every kick drum should sound like a Honda in east LA right.
C. You turn on the click track and they attempt to play to it and the song becomes a train wreck then they say "using a click is like putting our music in a box" so you turn off the click and then the song fluctuates so much that when the song is release people laugh at them, and they say "we had a crappy engineer"
D. Think they are the most awesome rock band in the world, and when they finally hear what they sound like, they blame you, after all as an engineer, you write lyrics, get huge guitar sounds out of 10" crate practice amps, and can fix all vocals in post right.
E. Think that there next job is to be a producer, because they really like working with and listening to music.
F. Have decided that you don't really need a sound engineer, or a producer, you just need the bass player to mix the album.
G. Decide that the reason the album stinks is because of the mastering even though they do not even understand what mastering is or what it does.
H. Decide that they will mix the album on their own, and when they do people laugh, and they say it was you that mixed it.
I. They want more bass you pretend to move a knob that controls the talk back mic, and they say...little more...little more...perfect.
J. The want Metallica's guitar sound, but they would like to use their $50 distortion pedal. You tell them about using a plug in for the guitar sound and they give you a dissertation on the benefits of analog.
K. Want to use the biggest fanciest most expensive mic in the studio so they can tell their friends that they did.
L. Think that using a 57 on the guitar cab is so 1980's
M. Want to touch the soundboard.
N. Drink in the studio.
O. Bring everybody they know into the studio, to see them perform, and you end up cleaning butt prints off the glass from the mix room to the studio from the casual moonings.
P. Touch the grand piano, and play chopsticks.
Q. Want you to run their mix through ever piece of outboard gear in the studio so they can watch the meters move.
R. Want to scream into your expensive mics, from 1" away.
S. Bring in a drum set that has toms from 3 different kits painted with spray paint 4 times, with stars, and shapes, concave heads, and cracked cymbals, a feather pillow in the kick and then say how come my drums don't sound like the drums on ________ album.
T. Have wrestling matches in the main space of the A studio next to a crop of 30 mics.
U. Have an friend or relative who knows everything there is about being in a band, because he played in one in 1976 in college, and he is going to be there to make sure you get the " sound they want". Then the recording tones sound right out of 1969, and they all blame you.
V. Have a tight budget but and want to record using a 15 piece pearl kit with 2 kicks (which they want exactly the same). It can't take that long to throw up 25 mics, and sound check right?
W. Have never played on time in their life.
X. Get a decent take from a bad player and spend 4 hours trying to improve on it only to realize that the first take was the best he can do.
Y. Don't know what song they are going to play when they arrive at the studio.
Z. Think Reverb covers Bad Vocals.
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) and sit back and relax. It's over for another day.
