Amateur Dramatics

[Phrasemaker]

Hi, This is my second full track that I'm working on. I am new to owning recording equipment so would appreciate some feedback/creative ideas that could help me get the best out of this song. I never intended to be a singer but I'm kind of stuck with my own vocals until I find someone to collaborate with, so bear with me please. What Im looking for are ideas that can improve the mix of this track so I can work towards a definite master of it before moving on to working on the next. I kind of like this genre which is a mile away from my first track which was a good learning curve but on reflection highlights that I have to aim a bit higher having listnened to the likes of Ray and several other people who have tracks here. I hope this is a step in the right direction, I think I've managed to allow everything to breathe in this version of the track. I re recorded some of the track, so it's not just my initial post in the song writing part of the forum cleaned up. I kept the original vocal because of its spontinaety as I'd literally just written the last verse, turned on the studio and did the take. I'm pretty flexible if I'm pointed towards something that can improve the track and I still have much to learn, which is why I come here.

http://soundcloud.com/phrasemaker/amateur-dramatics-2

Many thanks for your valuable time

regards

Tim

 

[chandlerhimself]

Have you tried doubling the guitar track? The tone doesn't sound bad on the rhythm parts, but it sounds kind of thin. Try recording another track and then panning the 2 tracks to opposite sides. You could go even farther and play the part 4 times and have 2 on the left and 2 on the right. Make sure you don't use the exact same tone for all the tracks though. I'd also try to have the bass copy the guitar riff. That constant stream of 8th notes gives the song a plodding feel. I'd also double/quadruple the vocal on the chorus. You want the chorus to stand out and as it is now I can barely tell when the chorus starts. I'd also try a different tone for the lead gtr bits. Try putting some delay on there and and maybe boost the mids on your amp to get rid of that boxy sound.

 

[PDP]

Cool Track,

I think the instruments sound fine, I like that its sparse, (using the stereo field more is a good idea though)

The lead vocal is good too, but adding layered harmonies (if you can) would build out the arrangement more.

I also agree after the first verse there should be some drum and bass fills, which would also develop the arrangement.

Overall its quite good and not overdone. You can go from here adding some tasteful parts/edits and really make it excellent. Also I thought the basic mix and recorded sounds were very good.

 

[rayc]

This sounds a little like Placebo - that's meant in a good way.
I like the openness of the mix although I'd like to hear, when the piano comes in, the rhythm guitar panned to one side & the piano as the centre becomes a little crowded at that stage & less open.
When it's just the guitar featured doing a 2nd track panned opposite would balance the track as well as opening the centre so that the bass & vocal aren't crowded though I quite like it as is.
Mixing a three piece backing - bass, guitar & drums is really quite difficult - it's something we often see on stage but rarely hear in recorded form.
Adding some chorus or simple reverb on the chorus vocal or simply lifting thinsg a little for that part would make the chorus more obvious - though it seems pretty clear to me. The lyrics are clearly projected and the enunciation is good.
As for the solo guitar lines - I like 'em as they are - but a touch of delay would sound cool.
The bass? I like it as it is - the song is meant to stomp in a semi industrial way - all I'd suggest is that you add a 4db peak at 3khz with a narrow Q so that there's just a little more definition & growl.
Good song, good job all round particularly given you recent entry into DIY.

 

[Phrasemaker]

Chandlerhimself, thank you for listening to the track and making some interesting points, and offering your suggestions. You’ve given me some ideas to experiment with, and now I have a few days without having to fit the day job in I’ll certainly have a few sessions and see how some of these ideas come over when applied to the track.

PDP, I like the idea of harmonies in respect of the chorus, I never intended to actually sing on my tracks, but I’ll have a go with harmonies even if the exercise only serves to inform me that my vocal ability is rather limited. I’m pleased that the current mix sounds good, as what I hear after hearing the track a lot whilst I’m working on it might not be what others consider to be heading in the right direction. Your input has prompted a few areas that I’m happy to play around with and see how they work.

Ray, I’ve pondered the piano before I posted this and definitely think your suggestion is worth trying, also the boosting of the frequency area you mentioned is something I’m receptive to. I’ll try some delay in respect of the guitar solo parts as I’ve already played around with the guitar sound for the solo parts and I still feel unsure about them, hence your thoughts are very useful. I also like the stomp of the bass and found that at my initial putting of the track together, a more complex approach changed the overall character of the song in a way which didn’t work for me. I’ll get playing.

Many thanks for the very useful suggestions.

Regards

Tim

 

[robgreen]

Hi Tim, this is really cool - you got a bit of an 80s indie/new wave thing going on which sounds good. The guitar is thin and scratchy, but I think that works for the song, just as it works on the likes of Unknown Pleasures etc.

I wouldn't really change much to be honest - it's a shame that when the intensity builds right at the end with the cymbals, it's so brief - but good work.

 

[TripleM]

I thought this was pretty cool. Generally good. I liked the drum sound.

I'd like a little more distortion on the main rhythm guitar. Double tracking it, as someone mentioned, would be a good idea. The mix is a little narrow. A double tracked and hardpanned guitar would help.

Bass sounds OK, but seems to have a low end rumble. Not sure, but I'm guessing that's going to sound a bit nasty on a big system. I'd roll off some low end.

 

[Phrasemaker]

Hi Guys, Firstly I must apologise for not getting back to acknowledge your feedback in a timely manner. I do appreciate it and firstly robgreen, I see what you say about the guitar sound, there are a few remarks about here so I’m going to work on it some more. I thank you for your other thoughts and appreciate your time.

TripleM

You’ve also mentioned the sparseness of areas of the mix which seems to be a pretty common observation here. This is only my second full track so I’m still learning a whole lot about different approaches towards giving the sounds a fuller profile but I’m getting there and now have a few tricks up my sleeve to apply to this track. I only just got a proper bass, and having never really played one it’s taken me a few days to get used to it, so hopefully better results going forwards and I totally understand what you say about rolling it off a little on this track.

I intended to get another version of this up, but what with buying my own bass to use in the studio and playing around with it and unexpected dramas out of the studio, it’s been a mad week or two.

Many thanks

Tim