"almost" instrumental

[eyema_believer]

Here's one for y'all to pick apart. It's my Fender Deluxe Nashville Power Tele into a now stolen Digitech GNX3 (thank you Lord) into a Peavey Classic 60/60 tube power amp, a Yamaha synth, a Martin acoustic, a cello of unknown origin, and my voice through my trusty AT4033. Waves Truverb, I think. (or is that realverb? I'm getting confused in my old age)

Peace!

~Shawn

 

[DavidK]

This would sound much better with a link.

 

[eyema_believer]

This would sound much better with a link.

Yes, of course it would.
ahem....
Thanks David, for pointing that out to me!

~S

 

[DavidK]

Interesting track. Couple O things-

1. The intonation between the lead geetar and the low drone "E" in the beginning is a bit off.

2. Move the cello left or right. Its interfering with the vox.

3. The synths might benefit with some eq work. Try boosting the mids and cutting the highs.

4. 4:35 is an eternity in music. When you got to that point, I was relieved. I like it quite a bit and 4:35 is the payoff point, but its a long wait to get there. I suggest either cutting half of it or adding other things and building to that point. Old RUSH albums had these interludes, and they had bell trees, more synths, more timbre/filter changes, etc/ . The guitar solo is good and very musical, its the backing stuff that needs to evolve more.

A good listen, worth waiting for the link.

 

[Xeries]

I love the tone on the guitar, Shawn and the cello is a nice fit with the vocals. I agree with David about the length. I was a small boy when I started listening to this song.

Just kidding, but you could cut at least a minute off the beginning and not lose anything. You never even got to a progression until 2:39.

Vocals sound good, guitar sounds good, cello sounds good, everything has a space in the mix and the trebley synths didn't bother me, just the slow buildup.

I'm guilty also of writing songs that are a bit too long. It takes one to know one.

 

[rayc]

Shawn, passedtensesheer, follicularlydenudedone,
Sorry to riff on poor puns of your name - the thought struck me & I hope/d you'd not take offence.
I like the long beginning, but I also own Starcastle LPs and Sebastian Hardy ones too.

David's right about the 'cello - I learnt that mistake not too long ago & panning it away greatly improves a vocal.
On another tack I'd prefer it if the vocal melody was played by 'cello & the vocal did a wordless line of what the 'cello is playing.
Have you listened to the pastural songs from the original King Crimson? I think you'd dig what they did - esp the guitar & mellotron.

 

[eyema_believer]

Thanks guys....
I'm gonna see what I can do about working this into a more interesting piece, using your suggestions.
Rayc... how did you know I was bald??

 

[eyema_believer]

Have you listened to the pastural songs from the original King Crimson? I think you'd dig what they did - esp the guitar & mellotron.

This sounds interesting, indeed. Do you own any such recording?

 

[cmhansen]

Good stuff.

Ah, forget what the others say about the length of the piece. In my opinion the first part of the song is the special part of the song. Nice guitar work with the synths. Tone seems to fit the song well too.

If you could develop the end of the song a little more and make that longer, you could shorten the first part and then almost repeat the first part at the end of the song after the singing part. Fade in the beginning, then fade out at the end. You know.

A little more of what David suggested and your really going to have something.

 

[rayc]

Yep, I have LOTS of King Crimson...PM me.
Bald! I was just playing with shawn as shorn as having been dealt with by a shearer!